wanderingstar Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 My partner and I've been dating about 2 years now, some of this time was LDR... sort of (We've spent more time together than apart). Anyways, I've been wanting to move forward and get more of a commitment within the relationship (close the distance gap as well) and began to push for it a little. So he freaked and after a conversation about where he was at the moment he asked to take a break. Where he was at the moment he says that he's at a place in his life where he's unhappy (not with me) and wants to get better, says he loves me but doesn't want me to be forced to wait for him while he figures things out and just uncertain. To be honest I am getting the fear of commitment feeling from him especially knowing how his past relationships went. So we're at the point where we are "on a break" / broken up / whatever. Fine. I don't like it but it is what it is. The confusion I am having is since the conversation he's been contacting me and I've broken down and spoke to him. As we're long distance some of the conversations have continued to be the marathon type. And they have been the conversations that we usually have had when we were "in a relationship". The questions I have for you are this... There are people who say during a break one should cut off all contact, others who say keep light contact. I do want to get back together with him but I'm feeling that light contact might be detrimental to that process. I am thinking that having no contact for awhile to be on a true break might be best. But I'm conflicted as our conversations have been pleasant. And there's no one else in the picture. If I do choose to go silent, what do you do when you're on a break, with facebook? Delete him (seems too harsh when we haven't broken up yet), keep him and just block the updates from his stream, or deactivate my account for a bit. At the moment I've asked for some quiet time which he's giving me - it's HARD! - but I'm sure he'll contact me again soon at some point. I guess I just don't know if I should push him away or be patient and see what comes. If I choose patience, I would give myself a time limit and if nothing has happened in that time I'd let him know I was moving on. At the same time, there is this fear that during this time he could possibly date someone else. There is no intentions on either side, but I'm not nieve and once the connection is broken people tend to stray. I know no one has the answer for me, but it'd be nice to get some opinions. What would you suggest? I think the biggest question at the moment is the whole how do you handle facebook and taking a break?
tunatunatuna Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 I'm no pro with this stuff, but I think there are a few approaches to take. For some the point of the break is to see how you feel without the other person. For others its to let people reset because every time they interact, they fight or can't get along. I'm taking a break with my GF, and we have had light contact. It's almost impractical to have no contact, as our lives are just too intertwined. We like seeing each other here and there, and even with that contact, we get plenty of alone time to reflect on the past two years. When we see each other we have a great time, and we take that into consideration when we think and talk about things. I just ignore facebook. Neither of us post updates, so we don't really interact there. I would stop using it if you can. Not for the sake of the break, but to make it easier on you. If he wants space, just give it to him. Contacting him probably won't be beneficial for either of you.
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