lesoiseaux Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Long story short, I met this guy while I was with my now-ex boyfriend, who I dated for 2 years and who broke up with me about 2 months ago. Nothing happened, as I was incredibly in love with my ex at the time, but I did find him interesting and could see myself dating him if, of course, I hadn't been with my ex. We were pretty much just acquaintances. A couple weeks after me and my ex broke up, this guy started chatting with me online and admitted to me that he likes me. I was about to leave for a semester abroad (where I am now) and so we just decided to keep in touch. We started talking online more and sending each other emails. He came on a little strong, which I didn't really mind, and he made it really clear that he liked me a lot. We weren't dating or anything, not only because I'm abroad but also because I really need time to be single and on my own. Anyway, this past week he started talking less and, as we had decided to be really honest with each other, I asked him why and he said he thought things were moving too fast. I was confused for a variety of reasons, mostly because a) he was the one making all the moves and b) I'm thousands of miles away, how fast can we possibly be moving? Anyway he said he was uncertain about the future and was afraid that I might meet some other guy, etc. I responded to this by telling him that basically I like talking to him and that nobody is certain about the future. I told him that the ball was in his court and that I would act toward him the way he acts toward me (so if he stops talking to me, I am not going to waste my time trying to get his attention). Today he told me that he likes talking to me and wants me in his life either as someone to date in the future or even as just a friend. However, this little incident has kind of made me confused and a bit disillusioned. It seems to me he just wants to keep on talking as if nothing has happened, but having come out of a relationship in which my ex told me things I wanted to hear without ever having meant them, I really don't want to deal with these kinds of fickle feelings. It seems to me as though he's somewhat "changed his mind" and is kind of wishy-washy now while pretending that everything is just like it was before. I just find it irksome that the guy who called me the "ideal girl" is now retracting some feelings--sort of--but not really acknowledging it. And as for just being friends, I feel like that's difficult now, considering all the things he had told me before, when he seemed to find me pretty amazing. I do think he's an interesting guy and do like him, but I don't know, I feel kind of weird about things now. I know he's just protecting himself but it's just kind of frustrating...do I make any sense? Am I overreacting? Something just doesn't sit right with me, while another part of me is realizes that none of this is a very big deal and that I should keep talking to him - after all, I don't have much to lose, right? I just wanted some help getting my head wrapped around things...oh yes, and I'm 21.
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