What should I do?!?!?!

[Depressed Woman]

Hi there, the thing is that I went to England last year to study for one year. Then in December I was going to go to France to study french but just 3 days before I went there I met this wonderful guy. I spent the time with him and when I went to France I just couldn´t take it. I was extremely sad and I didn´t know why since I hadn´t really spent lots of time with him but we can say that it was love at first sight. So I just stayed in France for 1 day and I went back to England, called him and since then we lived together; I moved in with him. We spent 6 months living together and it was the most wonderful time I´ve ever had. We love and care for each other, it´s a wonderful relationship and he proposed to me!!!! of course i said yes but first I had to talk to my parents back here in Mexico. When I went to England my plans were to come back now in june and start studying university (since I´m only 19) so I thought that maybe I could convince my dad to let me study university in England but my boyfriend and I thought about another option which is a bit crazy; we thought that if my dad didn´t let me go back he would look for a job and send me a ticket to go back there (he is a pilot so he would be earning good money).

 

I´m back in Mexico now and I´ve already talked to my dad and he said no, but not because of the money or whatever but because he missed me and he wants me to stay here since I´m his little princess. My dad promised that what I could do is to study university here and every holidays I could go back to England or if I wanted I could study here and study like a master´s degree back there. I know he gave me lots of choices but I keep thinking that if we have lived together for 6 months and know each other really well, all this will change if we see each other in four years.

 

I don´t know what to do because I promised my boyfriend that I would go back there as soon as he had money so he is working hard for it, but now that I´m here I think more about it and I realise that I could stay here and go back there like twice in a year or something like that, and he could come sometimes to Mexico too.

 

I´m also desperate because it´s not the same thing with my family, I get annoyed with every thing they tell me, I don´t know why, I think is because I don´t want to stay here and I know this even though I´ve here for less than a week. I´m depressed all the time and my dad knows that because he keeps telling me not to be like that but I can´t help it!!!!!!

 

I don´t want to tell him this because I think he might think that I don´t love him and he might say that it´s not going to work but I don´t want to go without my parent´s permission since I´m the kind of daughter that has always done what her parents tell her to do and if I just go like that I´ll cause them a big depression.

 

Please give me ideas of what to do because I want to be there with him but I don´t want to be upset with my family. Some friend told me to study here for a year or something like that just to pretend I´m ok with that decision and then when he calls me to go back there I just go but I´m sure I´ll feel sorry for my dad to have spent that money.

 

PLEASE H-E-L-P

[quankanne]

Although it might not seem like it right now, time and distance can be good for a relationship. It sounds like you two fell in love right away, which is really sweet when you think about it, but maybe now it's time to cool your heels a little. If you and he are meant to be, things will work out. Maybe not as quickly as you like, but they will work out. Take this time (whether it's the next month, several months or couple of years) to make your bond with your boyfriend stronger. If he tells you that his love for you is dependent on you immediately flying out England to be with him, chances are, it's not love. And this could well be how your dad sees it. You might be his princesa, but really does wants the guy you end up with to love and appreciate you the way he does.

 

Right now, it's probably hard to defer to parental authority, especially when you've had your taste of freedom. But your dad sounds like he wants to be fair about you seeing this guy, so keeping talking to him and share your concerns with them. Because like all good parents, while he will take measures to make sure you don't get hurt, he wants your happiness more than anything.

 

You'd mentioned in your post that your boyfriend in England "would look for a job" so he could get you a ticket back to that country. How old is he, and is he gainfully employed? Unless he's actually able to support a wife and a family, maybe you should hold off until you are financially able to get going. I'm not trying to put a damper on your relationship, but sometimes those happy lovey feelings go out the door when reality rears its not-so-pretty head and you're trying to figure out how to financially support each other.

 

Just remember, love survives all tests that are put to it. If you are serious about this guy and he about you, this will work itself out.

 

Keep us posted …