Grace1973 Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 I posted on here a couple of weeks ago saying I didn't know how someone felt about me. We met online and had been on three dates, getting on really well with a lot of in-between contact (phone / text) but he hadn't made any physical move towards me. We've seen each other a few more times and have finally got to a kiss on the lips when saying goodbye, but it's been just a kiss. He's asked me if I'd like to go away with him for my birthday in a couple of months ("no pressure - separate rooms" he was quick to add) and asked me tonight if I'd told my folks about "us" yet, adding "we are an us, aren't we?". So all sounds good and I really like him and he seems to like me. But he hasn't held my hand or hugged me let alone attempted to kiss me in a romantic way and I'm so confused. Is he waiting for me to initiate something? Is he shy? Has he been badly hurt in the past and wants to take things slow (there's slow and there's slow!)? We're both in our late 30s so I'm totally baffled by this. Anyone got any ideas what's going on?!!
boogieboy Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 He's shy. Just jump his bones already! You know he likes you.
Author Grace1973 Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 But if he's shy, isn't that gonna freak him out?
Johnny M Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 So all sounds good and I really like him and he seems to like me. But he hasn't held my hand or hugged me let alone attempted to kiss me in a romantic way and I'm so confused. Is he waiting for me to initiate something? Is he shy? Has he been badly hurt in the past and wants to take things slow (there's slow and there's slow!)? We're both in our late 30s so I'm totally baffled by this. Anyone got any ideas what's going on?!! Based on your description, I'm inclined to believe that he's really shy. You may have to do the initiating yourself if you want things to get more physical.
JohnnyBlaze Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 But if he's shy, isn't that gonna freak him out? If he's shy, nope. As a shy guy myself, I can tell you, he'll try and play it cool while he's with you (unsuccessfully, I might add), but the minute you're out of sight, he'll be grinning like a kid at Disneyland!
Author Grace1973 Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 Okay, so come on you shy guys, help me out here. When we meet up at the weekend we're going to be unavoidably in public places all the time; so how should I approach this?! I really don't want to scare him off!
Rulebreaker Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 I had a similar situation once but it wasn't so obvious that the guy and I were "dating" so I just figured he had friend-zoned me. For me there is a very small window where you have to make a physical move or else I'm no longer attracted to you. My friends suspected he was gay. I told them I didn't think so, but he was Baptist. After that window had passed the guy started acting like he was my boyfriend, getting all sensitive and possessive and stuff, and I was like um, wtf. Then I said, don't you think if there were chemistry between us something would have happened by now? He said not necessarily. I then had to proceed to "break up" with him even though we had never really dated in my opinion. Bottom line, it might not mean anything at all. He could be religious, or slow, or protecting himself.
make me believe Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 My goodness, late 30s and he's "too shy" to hold your hand or even hug you?? That level of passivity would turn me off in a big way, but if you're still interested in the guy then you'll have to make the first move like everyone else said. When you see him next, just grab his hand when you are walking along! But I find it hard to believe that there is any physical chemistry there if he hasn't even done the most basic of things (no HUGS yet?!), shows no romance, etc. I wouldn't waste my time on a grown man who is "too shy" to hug me, even after several weeks.
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