JOLYNE Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Hello everyone, Please, I need guidance. I have been separated from my husband for nearly a year now and I would like to divorce in order to move on... I was married twice, once in the registration marriage office and the other one to the mosque. Who do I need to see to cancel my both marriage?.. Many thanks in advance.
TaraMaiden Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 You need to book a consultation with a solicitor/Lawyer, (they usually offer the first half-hour for free) and ask them. You don't say which country you live in, so it's difficult to give any definitive and accurate help. The UK, I could offer some info. The USA, I'm sure others could too (depending on the State). A predominantly Islamic country? (you mention a Mosque....) ....Have nooooo idea..... But your first port of call is a legal representative.
Author JOLYNE Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 Thanks for your quick reply. I live in the Uk. My husband is a muslam and I am French. We got married twice: in the registration office and the second time in the mosque... We lived together for 5 years but unfortunately we did not want the same things so the best course of action was to separate... So I need to see a sollicitor/legal representative...do I need to bring any papers?... What about the mosque?...
TaraMaiden Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 an Islamic marriage is a marriage in Islamic law, but not in British law. That's why you had to have a civil marriage too. Go to a solicitor, and ask him/her what you need to do to dissolve this marriage according to UK law. Once the UK court has divorced you, as far as I am aware, an Islamic ceremony in a Mosque won't hold water. but again, research with regard to Islamic practice would be useful. You need to go on line and find a Muslim solicitor or organisation who can clarify your Islamic position.... How does your husband view this situation? Does he wish to divorce you too? How devout a Muslim is he? What is the position regarding his own faith?
Author JOLYNE Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 Well, it is a bit complicated... My husband and I are still seeing each other and we get on along well but we both know that we do not want the same things in life. I told him one day, ok we love each other but we do not want the same things so is that going to be enough?...When we were living together he was doing his things and I was doing my things. We were living in parallel world...Well, I loved him, still am but it does not work for me anymore... I told him about a divorce but he seems to avoid the conversation... I told him about seeing a marriage counsellor but is still trying to find excuses... I would like to move on....my worries are how to make him understand that we have to let go?!...
TaraMaiden Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Then I think what you do is to consult a solicitor, then tell him you've consulted a solicitor, and you're seeking a dissolution to this marriage, which will free both of you up to remain good friends if you want, but to be free agents, giving you both the right to seek, pursue and possibly find marital fulfilment elsewhere... His avoidance could be down to a number of things... it could just be denial and avoidance, it could be some kind of covert shame that this has failed, it could be to do with his Islamic stance and the belief that either it should be him to initiate the divorce, or that he shouldn't be considering divorce at all, because, according to Islam, it's frowned upon.... Once you get the ball rolling and indicate to him just what your intentions are, and how intent you are on coming to a conclusion, you might find he will open up more....
Author JOLYNE Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 Thanks Tara for your advice. He is a good man and I do not want to hurt him but it has to be done. He is also a good looking person so I have no doubt he will find someone else...hopefully someone who will understand him and give him what he wants... He told me many times that he loves me but it is going to take us nowhere...as we thought before it is maybe because of the religion... Life, could be hard sometimes! Well, thank you again Tara.
TaraMaiden Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 I wish you both well, and hope sincerely, that this does not cause either of you any 'as-yet-unseen' problems. Divorce is never pleasant, no matter how good natured it is, because there are always other factors to consider. I hope his family is supportive and understanding, and I hope that you can be open, kind and communicative with each other. the important is to accept your differences, but really - if you are to divorce, give each other respectful distance, time to move on, and the liberty and right to enjoy your lives to the full. Apart. Good Luck.
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