Okeydokey Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 I'm not used to the "get to know you stuff." Is this normal? For the last two months, this guy contacts me pretty much every day either with an e-mail or a phone call. He usually suggests getting together once or twice a week. Always a coffee shop and always his treat. I know he's DEFINITELY not seeing anyone. I can't make be the one to make the move for various reasons that aren't worth getting into right here. The question is, do people do this if they are interested? Why!
soulm8 Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 For the last two months, this guy contacts me pretty much every day either with an e-mail or a phone call. He usually suggests getting together once or twice a week. Always a coffee shop and always his treat. I know he's DEFINITELY not seeing anyone. I can't make be the one to make the move for various reasons that aren't worth getting into right here. The question is, do people do this if they are interested? Why! Ummm, yeah. Why not? Are YOU interested in him?
paleblue Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 sounds like he's made the first move. i agree/wondering -so are you interested? why havent you said yes? he must have some patience or think you are cute because i would be hard pressed to keep asking.
Author Okeydokey Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 I always say yes and we always go get coffee. We've been drinking coffee for the last two months! I'm saying, when I suggest dinner or something else he gets very uncomfortable? Who wants to have coffee twice a week for months on end? With no end in sight. I can't make the first move because he has said that guys should do it, plus I just don't like to...
guy.lepage Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 I'm saying, when I suggest dinner or something else he gets very uncomfortable? Would you care to elaborate on this?
Author Okeydokey Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 One time I gave him three options 1. dinner, 2. coffee, 3. hang out with friends. He went straight for coffee. Another time, he suggested we get together again, I say: ok what do you want to do? He says: how 'bout the coffee place we went to last time? I say: how bout we go get Mexican food? He says: OH, uh, you're in the mood for that, ok, uh we can do that. fine. weird.
You'reasian Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 One time I gave him three options 1. dinner, 2. coffee, 3. hang out with friends. He went straight for coffee. Another time, he suggested we get together again, I say: ok what do you want to do? He says: how 'bout the coffee place we went to last time? I say: how bout we go get Mexican food? He says: OH, uh, you're in the mood for that, ok, uh we can do that. fine. weird. Maybe the coffee place is his hang out place? You've made a suggestion. Tell him that you'd like to try something different. If he gets uncomfortable again, ask him why?
paleblue Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 good idea, just ask him whats up with all the coffee. there are other places in the world. i didnt realize it was just the coffee shop. that would get really annoying. it is kind of weird actually. red flag #1 presents itself. are you sure he's not multi-dating?
paddington bear Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 If you think you are interested you might want to take your courage in your hands and simply ask him 'are these dates or are we just two friends hanging out?' I think it's a clear sign when he said that the man should do the asking. And he hasn't. Doesn't mean he's not capable of it, he hasn't for some reason, maybe because he doesn't see you in that way. You could push for a meal in the evening or whatever, but you'd never feel like he really wanted that. Just ask him if he's interested or not. I'm sorry to say, sounds like 'not' to me, otherwise he'd be doing some asking and you'd be doing some saying yes-ing.
paleblue Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 If you think you are interested you might want to take your courage in your hands and simply ask him 'are these dates or are we just two friends hanging out?' I think it's a clear sign when he said that the man should do the asking. And he hasn't. Doesn't mean he's not capable of it, he hasn't for some reason, maybe because he doesn't see you in that way. You could push for a meal in the evening or whatever, but you'd never feel like he really wanted that. Just ask him if he's interested or not. I'm sorry to say, sounds like 'not' to me, otherwise he'd be doing some asking and you'd be doing some saying yes-ing. good point paddington. i agree the OP should find out sooner than later for her own sanity. 2months is long enough. i just wasted 6 months playing games with someone just like this. the thing is tho -i was purposely decieved in that everytime i would ask -are you interested or not - she would say something like "well if i wasnt we wouldnt still be going out" be careful OP. you already know something is off - and when you feel something is off - chances are your gut is right. - at least from my own experiences.
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