Lol at the guy my ex gf left me for

[just1guy]

So I found out today about the guy that my ex got into a relationship with about a month after our breakup. Anyways, just a quick background. I'm 32, and she's 24. I'm the guy that went to college, worked his whole life, makes good money at a white collared corporate office, financially responsible, owns a house, etc, etc...pretty much followed the guide to growing up. She's one of those girls that even though there is an age gap, she tends to date older guys because (like me), she doesn't like to deal with the immaturity of guys that she dated her age (I know she's young so no matter how mentally mature they like to think they are...nope they're still emotionally immature).

 

Anyways, so this new guy she is 33, but a complete opposite of me. He's divorced with two kids, does blogs about getting drunk with girls, and fixing up his import car, traveling, talking like he's from the streets, etc...

 

So I guess it's just one of those things where she had her freedom from our "normal" relationship and decided to go with someone who is more fun..

 

I just find it a bit hilarious at her decision because I know that she chose this and missed out on me. I'm not breaking NC or anything, and really shouldn't care about her life, but I remember reading some threads in the past about girls leaving to go for the guys that are a complete opposite of us.

Edited February 17, 2010 by just1guy

[counterman]

Oh well, too bad for her. You'll find someone better. I do find it funny how some of our exs leave us for guys that are totally opposite of us. I find it funny how I wonder soon afterwards why I was even with her...

 

Goes to show we learn a lot from this. How are you feeling about moving btw?

[just1guy]

Oh well, too bad for her. You'll find someone better. I do find it funny how some of our exs leave us for guys that are totally opposite of us. I find it funny how I wonder soon afterwards why I was even with her...

 

Goes to show we learn a lot from this. How are you feeling about moving btw?

 

 

Yeah, finding this out made my day. I'd been a bit bummed out, but now I have a smile on my face because I am so glad that I saw her indecisiveness now and was freed before I was stuck. Don't get me wrong, I travel and enjoy going out, but it's because I've worked my whole life and now I have a chance to enjoy some of the benefits from hard work. I was the one financially stable in our relationship, so now I am soooo glad that she can deal with that bag of drama while I date better women.

 

What are you referring to moving?

Edited February 17, 2010 by just1guy

[counterman]

That's great. It's good to hear that your hard work is paying off and you are not reaping the benefits of it. I like your positive frame of mind and you will definitely date better women. A month after her break-up and she goes with this guy... well, it's her issues to deal with and shouldn't matter to you anymore. Hell, you have a great life ahead of you:)

 

Sorry, that was a typo. What I meant was how do you feel about moving on? But I guess I have your answer

[alphamale]

no, i think she was looking for some excitement...you sound pretty conservative

[just1guy]

no, i think she was looking for some excitement...you sound pretty conservative

 

 

Honestly, you are correct. I've turned pretty conservative once I hit my 30s, I guess I got tired of going out like I did in my 20s and in college when I was in a fraternity. I'm now more laid back and reserved than I was back then.

 

When we were together, the ex and I weren't always going out and getting drunk every weekend, so I'm sure she was looking for excitment. I know that the last months leading up to our breakup was prety much slow, due to me having to travel alot more out of town for work, and her with full time job and finishing up college.

 

I should have seen this coming, so that is why I'm not pissed or anything because she's pretty much doing exactly what is expected.

[just1guy]

That's great. It's good to hear that your hard work is paying off and you are not reaping the benefits of it. I like your positive frame of mind and you will definitely date better women. A month after her break-up and she goes with this guy... well, it's her issues to deal with and shouldn't matter to you anymore. Hell, you have a great life ahead of you:)

 

Sorry, that was a typo. What I meant was how do you feel about moving on? But I guess I have your answer

 

 

Thanks for saying that. Sometimes, I feel like I've worked too hard and missed out on the weekly drunken days and weekends that some of my friends did, but my parents worked extremely hard their whole lives to support us when we were growing up, so they taught me the value of hard work.

[alphamale]

Honestly, you are correct.

24 year old chicks are looking for excitement and thrills

[Leia]

no, i think she was looking for some excitement...you sound pretty conservative

 

There's nothing wrong with that. I'd rather go for conservative than a drunk blogger.

[Leia]

24 year old chicks are looking for excitement and thrills

 

That's not true! A year or so ago, I looked for a stable relationship and I've always looked for that

[just1guy]

I've been thinking about this last night and for some reason I couldnt sleep. I guess part of me still cares about her and want to tell her to wake up.

 

But its one of those lessons that she'll have to learn herself.

Edited February 17, 2010 by just1guy

[DustySaltus]

I've been thinking about this last night and for some reason I couldnt sleep. I guess part of me still cares about her and want to tell her to wake up.

 

But its one of those lessons that she'll have to learn herself.

 

Even if she did "WAKE UP" at this point, would you want her back?

 

By gathering intelligence on the new guy you are ABSOLUTELY breaking NC.

 

Whether she's 24, 34 or 94 has no bearing on the fact that she felt that there was someone else out there more suited for her. I would take that as a slap in the face if I were you. Yes, I believe in Karma but it's hard to know when it's going to hit so why wait around for it.

 

If she felt you were too conservative she should have SAID SOMETHING. Instead, she didn't put the effort into it that you deserved and quit on the relationship.

 

You sound like you have your head on straight. There was a reason this happened. There's someone out there to better compliment you. Good luck.

[Ilovecake]

So I found out today about the guy that my ex got into a relationship with about a month after our breakup. Anyways, just a quick background. I'm 32, and she's 24. I'm the guy that went to college, worked his whole life, makes good money at a white collared corporate office, financially responsible, owns a house, etc, etc...pretty much followed the guide to growing up. She's one of those girls that even though there is an age gap, she tends to date older guys because (like me), she doesn't like to deal with the immaturity of guys that she dated her age (I know she's young so no matter how mentally mature they like to think they are...nope they're still emotionally immature).

 

Anyways, so this new guy she is 33, but a complete opposite of me. He's divorced with two kids, does blogs about getting drunk with girls, and fixing up his import car, traveling, talking like he's from the streets, etc...

 

So I guess it's just one of those things where she had her freedom from our "normal" relationship and decided to go with someone who is more fun..

 

I just find it a bit hilarious at her decision because I know that she chose this and missed out on me. I'm not breaking NC or anything, and really shouldn't care about her life, but I remember reading some threads in the past about girls leaving to go for the guys that are a complete opposite of us.

 

Haha

That sounds a lot like my ex relationship. He's 33, I'm 39 he left for a 23 year old girl because she's a binge drinker and will not complain about him being an alcoholic. He even said "Now I get to really get F***ed up whenever I want." Since our breakup he's been looking awful and bloated, broke his leg and doesn't know how (3rd time, he previously broke ribs and has no idea how), lost his job, has moved 4 times because he couldn't get along with anyone he lived with, now he lives with her. This is all within a span of 1 year. All I can really do is point and laugh.

The weird thing is he was saying a week before he broke up with me how much he’s determined to quit drinking and will I stand by him while he does this. Two days later he meets this girl and 5 days after that I find out and our relationship is over. The desperate attempt to quit drinking never happened.

Be thankful that you're lucky enough to not be with your flakey ex any longer. Sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do.

[aimchase]

Just,

 

Woah woah woah! This is a little spooky as I know exactly where you're coming from and have been there for the past few months!

 

Here's my quick version - met partner when she was in her mid twenties, me in my later twenties. Went out at weekends, had fun. She gets pregnant, I work hard at job. First born is delivered, an absolute gift. Ex and I get married, with commitment to raising a family.

 

Ex conceives second child as planned. By the time she's born i'm well in 30s, she's approaching 30. Second child is born. Wife decided she's trapped and bored. She starts acting up and going out. We get distant. We eventually separate.

 

Now she's seeing a lad in his young 20s and has been at weekends for months. It suits her great as she gets to go out whilst I have my time with the kids. Like you, she wanted fun, she didn't want to be the trapped mum.

 

I'm not saying she didn't want the kids because she's good with them and loves them with all her heart, but she craved 'her time' and a social life again.

 

Like you, I mellowed out as I hit 30s. Thinking I was responsible, I worked hard, got a better job, and looked to provide for my family and offer them a safe and rewarding future. Getting babysitters wasn't always easy so yes, sometimes we were limited to staying in at weekends, but we had kids, they had to come first.

 

In a nutshell, she got bored. But what really pi$$es me off about this are two things:

 

1. Why didn't she talk about it?

2. Why look to start a family when you're clearly not ready to give up your freedom?

 

Like you again, the young lad she's seeing does make me laugh. He looks like a human sized toad and is clearly immature. Yet that doesn't take the pain away despite you reassuring yourself that she's gone down in the world.

 

Stick to the NC, which will help you move on. She may come crawling back, she may not. But give yourself time and by keeping to the NC, you will gain a much clearer perspective of what you want and whether you would consider having her in your life again. I feel though that once you do find that distance, you might just realise that someone more at your maturity level would be more fulfilling.

 

Don't let age be the barometer of maturity though - despite my ex being in her 30s, in so many ways she acts like she's still 18.

 

Aim

[confused_pjl]

Well we have a lot in common. I'm in the same boat as you. I'm 29 and my Ex is 21. She left me for a totally opposite guy as well, as a matter of fact, a type of guy she always said she would never want to be with. I'm a clean cut guy with high values and morales, I don't do drugs or get caught up in bad habits. I am ambitious and have achieved great success. I just got laid off from a good, high paying corporate job. I also paid for everything and treated her very well. My Ex left me for a guy who is covered in tattoos, piercings, smokes drugs, doesn't do anything fun or athletic, listens to weird punk music, suffers from insomnia and has Charles Manson and other satanic photos on his facebook.

 

We are both SOOOO better off without these young, naive, immature, indecisive and insecure bitches. I've been NC for over 1 wk now and am getting stronger and realizing more and more each day that she DEFINITELY wasn't the one for me.

[CaliGuy]

I find it ironic that you are comparing yourself to the guy she dumped you for. Who cares what she wants or likes anymore? This shouldn't concern you anymore! Besides, "A man who loves himself will have no rivals." (Benjamin Franklin).

 

So she picked a loser. You should be glad. That tells you that what she wants out of life is not what most women would prefer. She's an oddity. You'll find someone much better when you stop focusing on the past and start focusing on your present and future.

 

I've been dumped for guys that are total douches. Big deal! I'm not the one who has to wake up next to them in the morning, they do. If they can live with themselves then what concern is it to me? I'm not going to waste my time comparing my exes preferences to myself. I'd rather focus my time on the women who ARE interested in me, not those who are not.

 

Cheers.

[just1guy]

LS is a great place! Thanks everyone for your input