Author polksaladannie Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 Take out: I feel that I can offer someone affection, support, encouragement and depth Just my advice. Thanks for the input...but why is that stuff bad to put in?
Author polksaladannie Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 You emailed or im'd him way too many times. He may be on a dating forum posting about his "stalker." :rolleyes:What can I say? I am still trying to figure out all of the rules...
Jersey Shortie Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Thanks for the input...but why is that stuff bad to put in? Thought I explained that? It's too supplicating and too much like you are selling yourself instead of looking confident and like YOU are the one picking the guys and asking THEM to meet YOUR standards.
stillafool Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Ohhhhhh wow....you know, I never stopped to consider that a quality man would not want me because I carry with me the responsibility of being a mother. I mean, I never think about that as I sit here contemplating my future. When Mr Wonderful:rolleyes: messaged me back I was in no way, shape or form happy that such a catch would take the time to respond to little old me. Next time I'll be sure to remember my place:) And,yes, this is sarcasm;) I'm not saying you can't get a "quality" man. Doctors aren't the only men who one would consider to be of quality. However, a young unmarried med student is no doubt going to be in very high demand. I'm just being realistic. Go after him if you want to, that's up to you. Do you consider single fathers to not be "quality" men?
sunshinegirl Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 OK here is what had been going on: I actually did approach one guy on OKCupid. I stepped out of my comfort zone and did it. Here is how it went down: I messaged him and we played email tag for three days. Then nothing. On the advice of a friend I waited two days, caught him on IM and we had a nice chat. As he was saying goodbye I suggested that we have coffee. He showed interest and said he would have to check his syllabus(med school) for the following week to see what times were good. Ok great. So I let it go for two more days and then email him a recipe he wanted. That night I get a short email saying Thanks for the recipe. Best, HisNameHere. And then nothing. So tonight we IM. I bring up coffee and he tells me that we can go as friends. He then tells me that his schedule (med school) will not allow for a relationship and that he is on OKCupid to people watch and has messaged many people/got together with one or two. Ok, well at least he is honest. Two points for him. But I am upset that he wasted my time and made me feel like an a$$. He mentioned getting the coffee again and if he does ge back to me about it, I am going to feel obligated to go and waste more time. Now I know that you can specify what you want-eg: friends, dating,etc but really, I would bet money that most of us are there to date. I have enough friends. So people...try to be respectful of others' time and feelings... Off to reread "The Rules" again With due respect, notice all the bolded bits above. You did a lot of the initiating in this exchange... Now look at the underlined bits - reading between the lines, he showed a distinct lack of interest. It seems you took his initial reply to your email as indicative of major interest on his part, and perhaps overlooked the unspoken messages he was sending in subsequent exchanges. Sorry it worked out this way. I've had similar experiences, and finally learned to reach out ONCE, and then wait for the guy to reciprocate.
mem11363 Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 PA, This is what younger women typically do. They flirt and tease with guys they aren't interested in. It is practice and ego building for the girls and torture for the guys. He is doing the same thing. He is practicing flirting and building his ego at other folks expense. Not nice. OK here is what had been going on: I actually did approach one guy on OKCupid. I stepped out of my comfort zone and did it. Here is how it went down: I messaged him and we played email tag for three days. Then nothing. On the advice of a friend I waited two days, caught him on IM and we had a nice chat. As he was saying goodbye I suggested that we have coffee. He showed interest and said he would have to check his syllabus(med school) for the following week to see what times were good. Ok great. So I let it go for two more days and then email him a recipe he wanted. That night I get a short email saying Thanks for the recipe. Best, HisNameHere. And then nothing. So tonight we IM. I bring up coffee and he tells me that we can go as friends. He then tells me that his schedule (med school) will not allow for a relationship and that he is on OKCupid to people watch and has messaged many people/got together with one or two. Ok, well at least he is honest. Two points for him. But I am upset that he wasted my time and made me feel like an a$$. He mentioned getting the coffee again and if he does ge back to me about it, I am going to feel obligated to go and waste more time. Now I know that you can specify what you want-eg: friends, dating,etc but really, I would bet money that most of us are there to date. I have enough friends. So people...try to be respectful of others' time and feelings... Off to reread "The Rules" again
Author polksaladannie Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 I'm not saying you can't get a "quality" man. Doctors aren't the only men who one would consider to be of quality. However, a young unmarried med student is no doubt going to be in very high demand. I'm just being realistic. Go after him if you want to, that's up to you. Do you consider single fathers to not be "quality" men? Sure, single dads can be quality...
txsilkysmoothe Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 (edited) You're doing fine at the online dating and I think you will do even better as you learn. I had to go trough the same and I certainly still have much to learn. I can understand what JS is saying. The way it's worded it's like your overstressing what you can give a man and will do for a man. Some will interpret it as desperate. Also, I still think it's too much info. Think of it this way - you tell them so much they don't really need to contact you to learn more. If they don't contact you, you miss the opportunity to move to a phone conversation where you can share the sound of your voice, your laughter, your sweetness, your interest in the things they say to you - the things that will make them want to move to the next step - meeting in person. Edited February 17, 2010 by txsilkysmoothe
Author polksaladannie Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 Last edit...lol I am a happy single mother to two children (6 1/2 and 8) who is looking to meet someone special. I find that many profiles go on and on about what we expect from a potential date. Instead, I would like to share what I offer..... I am attractive, kind, intelligent and compassionate. I enjoy many activities-travel,cooking,going to museums,watching concerts/sporting events,reading,learning,growing. When asked about my ideal match....I am looking for someone who is ambitious, kind and funny. Oh, and a guy who can spell would rock. Looks are important, sure, but what I truly desire is someone who will treat me well. I am a girl through and through(Yes, I get my biweekly manicure but I can get down and dirty,too) and appreciate men who open doors and hold out chairs for me. I love being a woman and don't apologize for it:) What I’m doing with my life I recently transitioned from office life to the world of nursing. As I told a former supervisor of mine, "I've gone from giving good phone(I was in sales) to giving a good bed bath". I just became an LNA and will be adding Pharm Tech to the resume as well. Work always brings a new adventure. My hope is to someday become an RN and work with oncology patients... I’m really good at lots of things....I can make a mean fried chicken... organize a fun get-together...be sarcastic.. participate wholeheartedly in Elvis worship The first things people usually notice about me ....probably my eyes. After that, it would be my wit. My favorite books, movies, music, and food Books: Nicholas and Alexandra by Robert Massie, pretty much anything written by Stephen King big fan of Joe McGuiness(great for true crime) and Judith Krantz(great for smut).....liked The Devil Wears Prada...loved Judy Blume once upon a time...also love magazines(I regularly read Running,Marie Claire,People,Cosmo,Vanity Fair and The New Yorker) Movies: anything with Robert De Niro, Owen Wilson and Liam Neeson Music: anything with good harmonies(The Beach Boys and The Beatles come to mind) but I accept all forms of music The six things I could never do without 1) iced coffee (You can sleep when you are dead, right?) 2) good music 3) my family 4) the ability to earn a paycheck 5) the opportunity to help others 6) friends who can make me laugh until I cry I spend a lot of time thinking about ...how I can be a better LNA/future RN...where I want to retire(VA was on the short list-went to college there-but after they got slammed with all of that snow recently, TX is looking better all the time. Hook 'em horns!) On a typical Friday night I am normally recovering from the work week... The most private thing I’m willing to admit here As if! You should message me if you dig Elvis...you might like to teach me how to golf....you would like to spend time with an independent woman who is looking to care about someone again
Author polksaladannie Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 You're doing fine at the online dating and I think you will do even better as you learn. I had to go trough the same and I certainly still have much to learn. . Thank you. I agree that things will get easier as time goes on and I learn.
Author polksaladannie Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 PA, This is what younger women typically do. They flirt and tease with guys they aren't interested in. It is practice and ego building for the girls and torture for the guys. He is doing the same thing. He is practicing flirting and building his ego at other folks expense. Not nice. That's kind of how I felt about it. But like I said, karma...
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