polksaladannie Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 OK here is what had been going on: I actually did approach one guy on OKCupid. I stepped out of my comfort zone and did it. Here is how it went down: I messaged him and we played email tag for three days. Then nothing. On the advice of a friend I waited two days, caught him on IM and we had a nice chat. As he was saying goodbye I suggested that we have coffee. He showed interest and said he would have to check his syllabus(med school) for the following week to see what times were good. Ok great. So I let it go for two more days and then email him a recipe he wanted. That night I get a short email saying Thanks for the recipe. Best, HisNameHere. And then nothing. So tonight we IM. I bring up coffee and he tells me that we can go as friends. He then tells me that his schedule (med school) will not allow for a relationship and that he is on OKCupid to people watch and has messaged many people/got together with one or two. Ok, well at least he is honest. Two points for him. But I am upset that he wasted my time and made me feel like an a$$. He mentioned getting the coffee again and if he does ge back to me about it, I am going to feel obligated to go and waste more time. Now I know that you can specify what you want-eg: friends, dating,etc but really, I would bet money that most of us are there to date. I have enough friends. So people...try to be respectful of others' time and feelings... Off to reread "The Rules" again
txsilkysmoothe Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Do men contact you? Do you have photo's posted? Is your profile positive? Is OKCupid free?
meerkat stew Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Burn The Rules. If you want to date online, as txsilky seems to be saying, join a pay site. Leave the free sites for the people watchers and dregs.
Author polksaladannie Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 Do men contact you? Do you have photo's posted? Is your profile positive? Is OKCupid free? Men contact me but they arent the ones I like. This guy was first one I emailed. Here is the profile which I think is positive. I am pretty and have a curvy body. I have posted several pics to include a full length shot to show guys who/what I am I am outgoing, sweet, and compassionate. My Self-Summary I am a happy single mother who is looking to meet new friends and, if all works out, maybe a special someone. I find that many of these ads(Let's confess it...we're all basically writing commercials for ourselves here, right?) go on and on about what we expect from a potential partner. Instead, I would like to share what I can offer to you. My friends tell me that I am attractive, kind, intelligent and compassionate. I feel that I can offer someone affection, support, encouragement and depth. I enjoy many activities-travel,cooking,going to museums,watching concerts/sporting events,reading,learning,growing. When asked about my ideal match....I am looking for someone who is ambitious, kind and funny. Oh, and a guy who can spell would rock. Looks are important, sure, but what I truly desire is someone who will treat me well. I am a girl through and through(Yes, I get my biweekly manicure but I can get down and dirty,too) and appreciate men who open doors and hold out chairs for me. I love being a woman and don't apologize for it:) I like kittens and puppies,being of Irish descent, the color pink,Popeye's chicken, shamrocks, OPI nail polish and holding babies modern art and design,reading,the preaching of TD Jakes,black cats,good music,candles,penny candy,politics,the 1950s,walking and running,caffeinated drinks,hiking,foliage,lighthouses,travel, museums,cooking,go go dancing,Russian culture and history,religion,animal welfare,ballet,squash(the food, not the game),figure skating,British comedy,cartoons,playing Pac Man,bowling,fashion,shopping, grits,The Lawrence Welk Show,mechanical bulls . What I’m doing with my life I recently transitioned from office life to the world of nursing. As I told a former supervisor of mine, "I've gone from giving good phone(I was in sales) to giving a good bed bath". I just became an LNA and will be adding Pharm Tech to the resume as well. Work always brings a new adventure. My hope is to someday become an RN and work with oncology patients... I’m really good at lots of things....I can make a mean fried chicken... organize a fun get-together...be sarcastic.. participate wholeheartedly in Elvis worship The first things people usually notice about me ....probably my eyes. After that, it would be my wit. My favorite books, movies, music, and food Books: Nicholas and Alexandra by Robert Massie, pretty much anything written by Stephen King big fan of Joe McGuiness(great for true crime) and Judith Krantz(great for smut).....liked The Devil Wears Prada...loved Judy Blume once upon a time...also love magazines(I regularly read Running,Marie Claire,People,Cosmo,Vanity Fair and The New Yorker) Movies: anything with Robert De Niro or Owen Wilson....To be honest,I am too hyper to sit through a movie from start to finish but would gladly sit through "Meet The Parents" for weeks on end to get my dose of these guys:) I also appreciate Kate Winslet's work. Here are some other movies I like to watch in bits and pieces: Office Space,Schindler's List,This Is Spinal Tap,The Shawshank Redemption,Scrooge(with Albert Finney) Lean On Me,The Shining,Rocky,etc. Music: Elvis,Bjork,Ozzy Osbourne,David Bowie,Lenny Kravitz,Genesis,REM, Fleetwood Mac, ABBA,Bryan Adams,Diana Ross,Chicago,Teddy Pendergrass(I am currently helping my daughter pull together a presentation on the late great TP for Black History Month....hmmmm, think she should play Close The Door for her second grade class???LOL),Lynyrd Skynyrd,Barry White, Wings,Van Halen, Jackson 5, Stevie Wonder,Robert Palmer, Steve Winwood,Kanye West,Nelly,R.Kelly, Fergie,Jessica Simpson,The Beach Boys,Maroon 5,George Michael,KC and The Sunshine Band,Loretta Lynn,Patsy Cline,Air Supply,Prince,Toby Keith,Madonna,DMB, Tim McGraw,Kenny Rogers,Duran Duran,The Beatles,Matchbox 20, The Bee Gees,Khia,The Cars,David Cassidy,The Monkees, George Strait,Faith Hill,etc.Really,I like it all!. The six things I could never do without 1) iced coffee (You can sleep when you are dead, right?) 2) good music 3) my family 4) the ability to earn a paycheck 5) the opportunity to help others 6) friends who can make me laugh until I cry I spend a lot of time thinking about how I can improve myself for my children...how I can be a better LNA/future RN...where I want to retire(VA was on the short list-went to college there-but after they got slammed with all of that snow recently, TX is looking better all the time. Hook 'em horns!) On a typical Friday night I am normally recovering from the work week... The most private thing I’m willing to admit here I like to watch Backyardigans DVDs when my kids are not around...what can I say, the songs they sing are really catchy! You should message me if you dig Elvis...you might like to teach me how to golf....you would like to spend time with an independent woman who is looking to care about someone again.... × Your Notes Save You can move this box!
txsilkysmoothe Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Again is OKCupid free? Men who are serious about dating in real life will be on the pay sites. As to your profile, you have too much information, imo. A man may skip it because it's going to take awhile to get through. Don't take this the wrong way - I know you're a mom and a guy's going to know that too. He will be looking for clues that you still have adult interests and can have adult fun. Your profile shouldn't make mention of the kid things you like to do. It should mention the number of kids, their ages, and the fact that you're only interested in men who like children; other than that, you want to come across as a woman not a mom. Don't use the "my friends tell me I am attractive" instead state "I am attractive....." I'm certainly no expert but do feel fairly successful in online dating. I've only used Match, however. Good luck!
soulm8 Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 I messaged him and we played email tag for three days. Then nothing. On the advice of a friend I waited two days, caught him on IM and we had a nice chat. As he was saying goodbye I suggested that we have coffee. He showed interest and said he would have to check his syllabus(med school) for the following week to see what times were good. So I let it go for two more days and then email him a recipe he wanted. That night I get a short email saying Thanks for the recipe. Best, HisNameHere. And then nothing. I bring up coffee and he tells me that we can go as friends. He then tells me that his schedule (med school) will not allow for a relationship I am upset that he wasted my time and made me feel like an a$$. You come across as desperate! HE didn't waste your time - you did. You made an ass of yourself. As to your profile, you have too much information. He will be looking for clues that you still have adult interests and can have adult fun. Your profile shouldn't make mention of the kid things you like to do. It should mention the number of kids, their ages, and the fact that you're only interested in men who like children; other than that, you want to come across as a woman not a mom. I agree. I had to force myself to get through it.
alphamale Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 He then tells me that his schedule (med school) will not allow for a relationship and that he is on OKCupid to people watch thats a bunch of baloney
Zeegagge Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 thats a bunch of baloney Agreed. He wasn't that interested.
homersheineken Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 You really should think about cutting down some of your interests. And use spaces between commas - it's really hard to read and I gave up after a couple. If you can't take the time to make it easy for me to read about you, how will you make time later on Also the stuff about OKC being free and worthless is just crap. I've had no problem whatsoever with that site and refuse to pay for a service that works wonderfully free. And ironically I hear more problems with match and other pay sites....
Crazy Magnet Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 You start off saying you just "want to meet friends" and "maybe" have more. You set yourself up for the friends thing right there. Nobody meets to be "friends" and hope for more, that scares guys off. Get rid of that line! Also, you need spaces after commas for sure. The laundry list of your music interests or whatever that was is BORING. zzzzzzzzz I practically started drooling on my keyboard. Write in complete sentences, nobody enjoys reading a lists. I wrote a short blurb about myself, made a list of some odd ball number of weird facts about myself, like 11 or 13 or something (in sentence form) and put minimal, but funny things in the other slots. I got slammed with emails from men. Don't forget to include a head shot and a body shot (don't make them guess as to what size you really are.)
Author polksaladannie Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 Hi...thanks for the feedback. My profile includes several good close up and full length pics. And here is the revised profile: I am outgoing, sweet, and compassionate. My Self-Summary I am a happy single mother of two (6 and 8)who is looking to meet someone special. I find that many of these ads(Let's confess it...we're all basically writing commercials for ourselves here, right?) go on and on about what we expect from a potential partner. Instead, I would like to share what I can offer to you. I am attractive, kind, intelligent and compassionate. I feel that I can offer someone affection, support, encouragement and depth. I enjoy many activities-travel,cooking,going to museums,watching concerts/sporting events,reading,learning,growing. When asked about my ideal match....I am looking for someone who is ambitious, kind and funny. Oh, and a guy who can spell would rock. Looks are important, sure, but what I truly desire is someone who will treat me well. I am a girl through and through(Yes, I get my biweekly manicure but I can get down and dirty,too) and appreciate men who open doors and hold out chairs for me. I love being a woman and don't apologize for it:) What I’m doing with my life I recently transitioned from office life to the world of nursing. As I told a former supervisor of mine, "I've gone from giving good phone(I was in sales) to giving a good bed bath". I just became an LNA and will be adding Pharm Tech to the resume as well. Work always brings a new adventure. My hope is to someday become an RN and work with oncology patients... I’m really good at lots of things....I can make a mean fried chicken... organize a fun get-together...be sarcastic.. participate wholeheartedly in Elvis worship The first things people usually notice about me ....probably my eyes. After that, it would be my wit. My favorite books, movies, music, and food Books: Nicholas and Alexandra by Robert Massie, pretty much anything written by Stephen King big fan of Joe McGuiness(great for true crime) and Judith Krantz(great for smut).....liked The Devil Wears Prada...loved Judy Blume once upon a time...also love magazines(I regularly read Running,Marie Claire,People,Cosmo,Vanity Fair and The New Yorker) Movies: anything with Robert De Niro, Owen Wilson and Liam Neeson Music: anything with good harmonies(The Beach Boys and The Beatles come to mind) but I accept all forms of music The six things I could never do without 1) iced coffee (You can sleep when you are dead, right?) 2) good music 3) my family 4) the ability to earn a paycheck 5) the opportunity to help others 6) friends who can make me laugh until I cry I spend a lot of time thinking about how I can improve myself for my children...how I can be a better LNA/future RN...where I want to retire(VA was on the short list-went to college there-but after they got slammed with all of that snow recently, TX is looking better all the time. Hook 'em horns!) On a typical Friday night I am normally recovering from the work week... The most private thing I’m willing to admit here As if! You should message me if you dig Elvis...you might like to teach me how to golf....you would like to spend time with an independent woman who is looking to care about someone again....
harmfulsweetz Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Hi...thanks for the feedback. My profile includes several good close up and full length pics. And here is the revised profile: I am outgoing, sweet, and compassionate. My Self-Summary I am a happy single mother of two (6 and 8)who is looking to meet someone special. I find that many of these ads(Let's confess it...we're all basically writing commercials for ourselves here, right?) go on and on about what we expect from a potential partner. Instead, I would like to share what I can offer to you. I am attractive, kind, intelligent and compassionate. I feel that I can offer someone affection, support, encouragement and depth. I enjoy many activities-travel,cooking,going to museums,watching concerts/sporting events,reading,learning,growing. When asked about my ideal match....I am looking for someone who is ambitious, kind and funny. Oh, and a guy who can spell would rock. Looks are important, sure, but what I truly desire is someone who will treat me well. I am a girl through and through(Yes, I get my biweekly manicure but I can get down and dirty,too) and appreciate men who open doors and hold out chairs for me. I love being a woman and don't apologize for it:) What I’m doing with my life I recently transitioned from office life to the world of nursing. As I told a former supervisor of mine, "I've gone from giving good phone(I was in sales) to giving a good bed bath". I just became an LNA and will be adding Pharm Tech to the resume as well. Work always brings a new adventure. My hope is to someday become an RN and work with oncology patients... I’m really good at lots of things....I can make a mean fried chicken... organize a fun get-together...be sarcastic.. participate wholeheartedly in Elvis worship The first things people usually notice about me ....probably my eyes. After that, it would be my wit. My favorite books, movies, music, and food Books: Nicholas and Alexandra by Robert Massie, pretty much anything written by Stephen King big fan of Joe McGuiness(great for true crime) and Judith Krantz(great for smut).....liked The Devil Wears Prada...loved Judy Blume once upon a time...also love magazines(I regularly read Running,Marie Claire,People,Cosmo,Vanity Fair and The New Yorker) Movies: anything with Robert De Niro, Owen Wilson and Liam Neeson Music: anything with good harmonies(The Beach Boys and The Beatles come to mind) but I accept all forms of music The six things I could never do without 1) iced coffee (You can sleep when you are dead, right?) 2) good music 3) my family 4) the ability to earn a paycheck 5) the opportunity to help others 6) friends who can make me laugh until I cry I spend a lot of time thinking about how I can improve myself for my children...how I can be a better LNA/future RN...where I want to retire(VA was on the short list-went to college there-but after they got slammed with all of that snow recently, TX is looking better all the time. Hook 'em horns!) On a typical Friday night I am normally recovering from the work week... The most private thing I’m willing to admit here As if! You should message me if you dig Elvis...you might like to teach me how to golf....you would like to spend time with an independent woman who is looking to care about someone again.... Much better, concise, to the point, it doesn't babble too much. As for the guy, just not interested I'm afraid.
bayouboi Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 It looks like you got some good advice because I read the first profile and couldn't get past the part where you said you were looking for friends and maybe something more right after you had said in the OP that you were miffed that this guy claimed to be mostly looking for friends even though he's on a dating site. So I'm glad you took that part out. The revised version seems much better, though, having read so many of these things now they all seem generic. I agree with the others who've stated that the guy you messaged just wasn't interested.
Author polksaladannie Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 Much better, concise, to the point, it doesn't babble too much. As for the guy, just not interested I'm afraid. I appreciate the compliment on the revised profile...and(said in my best Office Space Lumberg voice), um, yeeeeeeeeeah, I got the memo on him not being interested. Thaaaaaankkkkkkkkkkks;) What annoyed me is that he responded to my initial email. If there is/was no interest, why respond?! When a guy emails me and I am not that into him, I do not reply. Why prolong the agony or lead others on? It just isn't very nice.
boogieboy Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 (edited) So tonight we IM. I bring up coffee and he tells me that we can go as friends. He then tells me that his schedule (med school) will not allow for a relationship and that he is on OKCupid to people watch and has messaged many people/got together with one or two. Ok, well at least he is honest. Two points for him. But I am upset that he wasted my time and made me feel like an a$$. He mentioned getting the coffee again and if he does ge back to me about it, I am going to feel obligated to go and waste more time. Im glad you took the "friends" part out of your profile, thats a big red flag, and he nailed you on it. No one has to be respectful of you or anything on a free site. Youre in the real world and you have to deal with the results, just like they do. Youre going to have to get thicker skin. Most of the guys you email will blow you off, you cant give up because of 1 email. Theyre not all going to like you. As you already learned, sitting back waiting for them isnt going to get you what you want. He wasnt honest with you, when he said his schedule wouldnt allow for dating, and he was just on OKcupid to people watch, he was lying. He used the same excuses that was used on him when he was blown off. He didnt really like you and you couldnt read between the lines. He moved onto someone he liked and thats why he changed his mind. Youre going to get alot of this so I go by one rule. "If the answer isnt a YES then its a NO". This is the way it is online, so you cant get angry at the process, many guys will waste your time. Its all about how much time you ALLOW them to waste. And dont get emotionally invested before you actually kiss the guy. It will take some time to get the guy you want, but you will have to be patient and unaffected of the process in the meantime. Edited February 17, 2010 by boogieboy
Author polksaladannie Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 Im glad you took the "friends" part out of your profile, thats a big red flag, and he nailed you on it. No one has to be respectful of you or anything on a free site. Youre in the real world and you have to deal with the results, just like they do. Youre going to have to get thicker skin. Most of the guys you email will blow you off, you cant give up because of 1 email. Theyre not all going to like you. As you already learned, sitting back waiting for them isnt going to get you what you want. He wasnt honest with you, when he said his schedule wouldnt allow for dating, and he was just on OKcupid to people watch, he was lying. He used the same excuses that was used on him when he was blown off. He didnt really like you and you couldnt read between the lines. He moved onto someone he liked and thats why he changed his mind. Youre going to get alot of this so I go by one rule. "If the answer isnt a YES then its a NO". This is the way it is online, so you cant get angry at the process, many guys will waste your time. Its all about how much time you ALLOW them to waste. And dont get emotionally invested before you actually kiss the guy. It will take some time to get the guy you want, but you will have to be patient and unaffected of the process in the meantime. I agree with your assesment. But I still don't understand why anyone would reply if he really was not interested. What was the point? Was he that bored? I also agree that he was lying and, like you said, using an excuse that might have been used on him. True, no one is owed respect, but I think that treating others the way that you want to be treated brings good karma. Who doesn't want that?
bayouboi Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 I agree with your assesment. But I still don't understand why anyone would reply if he really was not interested. What was the point? Was he that bored? I also agree that he was lying and, like you said, using an excuse that might have been used on him. True, no one is owed respect, but I think that treating others the way that you want to be treated brings good karma. Who doesn't want that? Who knows why he replied. But if he agreed to meet and then canceled, then that makes him a flake. Consider yourself lucky ^_^
stillafool Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 OK here is what had been going on: I actually did approach one guy on OKCupid. I stepped out of my comfort zone and did it. Here is how it went down: I messaged him and we played email tag for three days. Then nothing. On the advice of a friend I waited two days, caught him on IM and we had a nice chat. As he was saying goodbye I suggested that we have coffee. He showed interest and said he would have to check his syllabus(med school) for the following week to see what times were good. Ok great. So I let it go for two more days and then email him a recipe he wanted. That night I get a short email saying Thanks for the recipe. Best, HisNameHere. And then nothing. So tonight we IM. I bring up coffee and he tells me that we can go as friends. He then tells me that his schedule (med school) will not allow for a relationship and that he is on OKCupid to people watch and has messaged many people/got together with one or two. Ok, well at least he is honest. Two points for him. But I am upset that he wasted my time and made me feel like an a$$. He mentioned getting the coffee again and if he does ge back to me about it, I am going to feel obligated to go and waste more time. Now I know that you can specify what you want-eg: friends, dating,etc but really, I would bet money that most of us are there to date. I have enough friends. So people...try to be respectful of others' time and feelings... Off to reread "The Rules" again I don't want to in any way be disrespectful to you. But, you mentioned in other posts that you can't get a man because you are a single mom with 2 kids. I just don't think it's realistic to expect a (med student) to want to settle with a single mom. Maybe I'm wrong, but guys who are going to be doctors damn near have women falling at their feet to be Mrs. Dr.________. Unless he is an older doctor with grown kids I just don't see it happening. I just don't want you to get hurt by your choice.
stillafool Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 I appreciate the compliment on the revised profile...and(said in my best Office Space Lumberg voice), um, yeeeeeeeeeah, I got the memo on him not being interested. Thaaaaaankkkkkkkkkkks;) What annoyed me is that he responded to my initial email. If there is/was no interest, why respond?! When a guy emails me and I am not that into him, I do not reply. Why prolong the agony or lead others on? It just isn't very nice. Maybe he just has good manners.
Author polksaladannie Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 I don't want to in any way be disrespectful to you. But, you mentioned in other posts that you can't get a man because you are a single mom with 2 kids. I just don't think it's realistic to expect a (med student) to want to settle with a single mom. Maybe I'm wrong, but guys who are going to be doctors damn near have women falling at their feet to be Mrs. Dr.________. Unless he is an older doctor with grown kids I just don't see it happening. I just don't want you to get hurt by your choice. Ohhhhhh wow....you know, I never stopped to consider that a quality man would not want me because I carry with me the responsibility of being a mother. I mean, I never think about that as I sit here contemplating my future. When Mr Wonderful:rolleyes: messaged me back I was in no way, shape or form happy that such a catch would take the time to respond to little old me. Next time I'll be sure to remember my place:) And,yes, this is sarcasm;)
Author polksaladannie Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 Maybe he just has good manners. Perhaps. And perhaps karma will bring someone into his inbox with "manners" as well..
boogieboy Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 (edited) I agree with your assesment. But I still don't understand why anyone would reply if he really was not interested. What was the point? Was he that bored? Ive had women do the same thing to me, and it seems to be one of two reasons. 1.) He's not getting much interaction from the people he wants, if anyone... so he talks with you to see if you make a spark.. (means youre a backup) Like maybe he kinda saw something in you, but he wouldnt pick you out, so he wanted to see how the interaction went. When the spark didnt happen for him, he made up an excuse. 2.) He's one of those people who HAS to answer all the emails he gets or he feels guilty as hell. Some people dont know how to ignore emails from people that they dont really like. They feel bad ignoring a well written email. I saw something that read "many women who were dumped go on dating sites just to get responses fto make them feel better. But that doesnt work for long, when they go out into the real world and have to compete with women who dont need the ego boost." You never know what youre dealing with online. it happens. But you never know who is actually interested in you as a person and who is just futzing around, so thats why I dont invest anything until I get a kiss at least. I assume everyone is going to flake until they prove me wrong. That way I never get dissappointed. it also keeps me from looking desperate and chasing women. Edited February 17, 2010 by boogieboy
Jersey Shortie Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 My Self-Summary I am a happy single mother of two (6 and 8)who is looking to meet someone special. I find that many of these ads(Let's confess it...we're all basically writing commercials for ourselves here, right?) go on and on about what we expect from a potential partner. Instead, I would like to share what I can offer to you. I think you can leave off the "I would like to share what I can offer to you". You are selling yourself too hard. Keep in mind that *you* are also evaluating these men to see if *they* meet your standards. Take it from that position more then one where you are trying to sell yourself. Instead say something like: ..."go on and on about what we expect from another person. Instead, I'd like to share a little about myself..." I'd also take out "potential partner". It sounds too serious, too soon. I am attractive, kind, intelligent and compassionate. I feel that I can offer someone affection, support, encouragement and depth. I enjoy many activities-travel,cooking,going to museums,watching concerts/sporting events,reading,learning,growing. Take out: I feel that I can offer someone affection, support, encouragement and depth What I’m doing with my life I recently transitioned from office life to the world of nursing. As I told a former supervisor of mine, "I've gone from giving good phone(I was in sales) to giving a good bed bath". I just became an LNA and will be adding Pharm Tech to the resume as well. Work always brings a new adventure. My hope is to someday become an RN and work with oncology patients... That's pretty cute. I’m really good at lots of things....I can make a mean fried chicken... organize a fun get-together...be sarcastic.. participate wholeheartedly in Elvis worship Very cute!Light and fun and tells us about you. I spend a lot of time thinking about how I can improve myself for my children...how I can be a better LNA/future RN...where I want to retire(VA was on the short list-went to college there-but after they got slammed with all of that snow recently, TX is looking better all the time. Hook 'em horns!) Take out "for my children". While this is extremely lofty and understandable, a man isn't going to respond to that as a woman would. He wants to know that you work to improve yourself for *you*. The most private thing I’m willing to admit here As if! Good response! You should message me if you dig Elvis...you might like to teach me how to golf....you would like to spend time with an independent woman who is looking to care about someone again.... Very nice. Just my advice.
txsilkysmoothe Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Just adding my two cents, in online dating I believe you should always respond when someone emails you. The response should be honest and polite. If you aren't interested in a guy, just tell him "I'm sorry I don't think we are a good match, but thank you for contacting me." In doing this, there won't be some guy on a dating forum, complaining that he emailed polksaladannie and she didn't have the decency to respond; she just left him hanging. In terms of the future dr.'s behavior toward you, he is guilty of the same impoliteness. He doesn't know how to be direct and tell you the above. Maybe if he had heard it from some women he would have borrowed it and recited it to you, saving you some time. Instead, he did actually do what women have probably done to him - played along trying not to reject you until he could think of an excuse. (Or until he finish reading your long profile - .) In dating, we have to learn to read people's signals. I would only email a man once and if he didn't take the lead in contacting me thereafter, I would move on. You emailed or im'd him way too many times. He may be on a dating forum posting about his "stalker."
sam light Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Either he is a bad dumper in that he made the right excuse [finally] but got wishy washy by mentioning coffee again. or most likely he is immature and is afraid to move off on-line and into real life.
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