Pizzaman81 Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 So this girl i'm trying to date and got a second date lined up for a musical.. got her apartment broken into. She told me 2 cops came over, and then she told me it's funny, they were joking around with her a lot. And they both gave her their personal cell phone to call them if she finds anything suspicious. I mean c'mon! You really got to say that woman?! So naturally I got a reaction from that, kinda irked. But hey, I shouldn't make it a big deal i guess. Maybe she's just telling a friendly story.
sullysteve Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Maybe it's a test? See if she can get a jealous reaction out of you. Nothing to be gained from that, so show her it doesn't bother you (even if it does)!
Seymore Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 So this girl i'm trying to date and got a second date lined up for a musical.. got her apartment broken into. She told me 2 cops came over, and then she told me it's funny, they were joking around with her a lot. And they both gave her their personal cell phone to call them if she finds anything suspicious. I mean c'mon! You really got to say that woman?! So naturally I got a reaction from that, kinda irked. But hey, I shouldn't make it a big deal i guess. Maybe she's just telling a friendly story. Definitely sounds to me like she's trying to get a rise out of you or to spark some kind of jealousy.
meerkat stew Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 When they say stuff like this, reply, "so you are going out of your way to tell me two cops hit on you? you couldn't possibly be that insecure!" then laugh as if it's a huge joke, but not in a mean way. Saying it in a good natured way that is not snide, mad or sarcastic is very important. This response can be used in many female "testing" type scenarios and works like a charm.
Johnny M Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 She's just trying to boost her social value in your eyes. The correct response is laugh at it and act dismissively (I would have said something along following lines: "wow, the donut shop must have been closed if the cops had so much time to spend investigating a simple burglary"). Showing irritation/displeasure is big no-no. It betrays a lack of confidence.
Author Pizzaman81 Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 Ugh, thanks for the replies. I feel like I am just stepping on all the wrong stones with this girl. From my reaction, to making such a big deal with a second date... i am normally never like this.
Seymore Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Ugh, thanks for the replies. I feel like I am just stepping on all the wrong stones with this girl. From my reaction, to making such a big deal with a second date... i am normally never like this. No biggie, just don't treat it like the end of the world. Play it cool. *In all honesty, it's kind of juvenile for her to have said that, though*
2sunny Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 she sounds insecure and childish... beware... be cautious now that you know what she's capable of...
Author Pizzaman81 Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 she sounds insecure and childish... beware... be cautious now that you know what she's capable of... This is why I don't date girls under 24 I guess... oh well. Ya got the tickets already, use it.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Even if she's multidating I find her telling you about getting hit on very disrespectful. Did she tell you this story of her own accord or did you ask? I have a policy that if I'm dating multiple people at once, I don't tell unless asked. There's no need to brag.
boogieboy Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 next time she tries to imply that guys are after her all the time, you encourage her to go out with them. Example: "the cops that showed up, both of them gave me their cell numbers..." you:"Is that so? You need to try going out with at least one of them, let him flirt with you with cop talk, handcuffs, and his baton. You can wear his hat and play with the siren switch..." or you can start a story of a woman who walked up to you playing with her hair and smiling, and telling you about how she hates being single.
TheLoneSock Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 She just wants to make you want her more. Or make you feel like you have to compete... with two random cops that she talked to. It's just games. It's up to you if you want to play them or not. Roll the dice, or find a new (better?) girl. Gl pizzaman
Author Pizzaman81 Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 She just wants to make you want her more. Or make you feel like you have to compete... with two random cops that she talked to. It's just games. It's up to you if you want to play them or not. Roll the dice, or find a new (better?) girl. Gl pizzaman I'd wouldn't get like this if she were someone else. Like I mentioned in another thread, she seems different to me, i feel different when I'm around her. So funny, how the ones you really actually end up liking (for what reason who knows) becomes the difficult one. :bunny:
boogieboy Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 I'd wouldn't get like this if she were someone else. Like I mentioned in another thread, she seems different to me, i feel different when I'm around her. So funny, how the ones you really actually end up liking (for what reason who knows) becomes the difficult one. :bunny: Even if you feel she is different, she obviously isnt. She might be playing games already. So dont treat her any better than you treat any other woman. No pedastals for her. Be on your guard. Back off a lil, compose yourself, see her like any other person for now until youre SURE she into you, then you can dive in.
Crazy Magnet Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 hahaha I briefly tried um....seeing? flirting with? hanging out with? a BOY who was 23 this fall. He did the same thing. Told me he gave a girl a ride home b/c she was drunk and she tried to drag him in her house and make out with him. For the life of me I couldn't see the point in his story b/c he was acting so interested in me at the time. I believe I said something like "mmm.....ok." With no interest or disinterest. He was quite baffled at my response. I could only think "Ah young grasshoppa, you have much to learn!"
Ruby Slippers Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 I would tell a story like that to a guy I'm dating, just because it's funny and so unprofessional of the cops. Like when I walked into a Mexican grocery store the other day, and the guy in front goes, "Buenos diiiiaaaaaas." haha It wouldn't be to make him jealous. It's just funny. And I would think similar stories coming from him were funny, too. In fact, the last guy I dated would tell me little stories about female customers at work flirting with him, and I was amused.
meerkat stew Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 I would tell a story like that to a guy I'm dating, just because it's funny and so unprofessional of the cops. Like when I walked into a Mexican grocery store the other day, and the guy in front goes, "Buenos diiiiaaaaaas." haha It wouldn't be to make him jealous. It's just funny. And I would think similar stories coming from him were funny, too. In fact, the last guy I dated would tell me little stories about female customers at work flirting with him, and I was amused. If the story is really funny sure, but the OP story isn't funny at all, nor is the Mexican grocer, nor was your ex telling little stories about women flirting at work. The motivation for telling such to someone one is dating is almost never humor.
Stung Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Well, she could just be one of those people who doesn't have a great brain-to-mouth filter. There are a lot of them around. She could, as Ruby mentioned, have thought the story was kind of amusing. Personally I agree that it's likely, although not dead-certain, that she had some degree of motivation of trying to spark a little jealousy in Pizzaman or potentially make herself seem more desirable to him. Is this a bit immature? Yes, but as Pizzaman mentioned, she is young. If you're going to date a young person it is wise to expect them to occasionally act their age. I see it as a potential flag to keep an eye out for escalating game-playing behaviors, but in and of itself I don't see it as the big deal some other posters are making it out to be. A young woman still learning how to date and interact somewhat clumsily made an attempt to simultaneously A) make herself look a little bit shinier in a man's eyes while B) gauging his level of interest in her. Obviously her communication skills could use a little work but this is true of most people in some respect. If this behavior continues and she expects to play Pizzaman like a violin eliciting hurt and jealousy in order to make herself feel somehow more valuable, obviously that would be a HUGE problem and he should absolutely just step aside and move on, but IMO she hasn't crossed into that territory yet. At this very early stage they are both still simply evaluating one another.
Author Pizzaman81 Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 Well, she could just be one of those people who doesn't have a great brain-to-mouth filter. There are a lot of them around. She could, as Ruby mentioned, have thought the story was kind of amusing. Personally I agree that it's likely, although not dead-certain, that she had some degree of motivation of trying to spark a little jealousy in Pizzaman or potentially make herself seem more desirable to him. Is this a bit immature? Yes, but as Pizzaman mentioned, she is young. If you're going to date a young person it is wise to expect them to occasionally act their age. I see it as a potential flag to keep an eye out for escalating game-playing behaviors, but in and of itself I don't see it as the big deal some other posters are making it out to be. A young woman still learning how to date and interact somewhat clumsily made an attempt to simultaneously A) make herself look a little bit shinier in a man's eyes while B) gauging his level of interest in her. Obviously her communication skills could use a little work but this is true of most people in some respect. If this behavior continues and she expects to play Pizzaman like a violin eliciting hurt and jealousy in order to make herself feel somehow more valuable, obviously that would be a HUGE problem and he should absolutely just step aside and move on, but IMO she hasn't crossed into that territory yet. At this very early stage they are both still simply evaluating one another. Ya I've been thinking the same. I'll keep an eye out for sure! The thing is, she's extremely good looking, very popular during school, just tons of guys oogling over her. I mean to the extent that if she said the cops gave her their number, I'd believe it, I would! So if she's like that, getting all the attention why would she even need to say things like that? But i guess you may be right about brain to mouth filter. One time we were talking about plans for V-Day, and I said, no plans this year, and she said "Oh looks like you're eating dinner alone this year! hahah" HA HAAA HAAAA... WTF
Stung Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Ya I've been thinking the same. I'll keep an eye out for sure! The thing is, she's extremely good looking, very popular during school, just tons of guys oogling over her. I mean to the extent that if she said the cops gave her their number, I'd believe it, I would! So if she's like that, getting all the attention why would she even need to say things like that? But i guess you may be right about brain to mouth filter. One time we were talking about plans for V-Day, and I said, no plans this year, and she said "Oh looks like you're eating dinner alone this year! hahah" HA HAAA HAAAA... WTF Well, that sounds to me like she feels her looks and popularity are actually all she has to offer and she wanted to make sure you were on board with valuing them, as that is where she gets her validation. It could mean she is shallow, or it could also mean she has lower self-esteem because nobody really cares about her intellect and personality. That's a bit sad, really. I'd be a bit worried about her mocking re: lack of V-Day plans. Did it come off as light, just kind of a dry, gentle jab? I'm prone to making those myself. Or was she actually making a dig and lacking in empathy? Is it too soon to tell the difference, with her? If she is used to men being interested in her only for her physical nature, she might not have done much work on her intellectual and emotional nature. She might be used to being targeted and used, and have grown a hard shell. These are not givens, but definitely possibles. Pizzaman, are YOU any different? What is it about her that makes your little pepperoni heart go pitter pat? Are you just another guy only interested in her because she's such a little Hottie McHotterson?
alphamale Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 She told me 2 cops came over, and then she told me it's funny, they were joking around with her a lot. And they both gave her their personal cell phone to call them if she finds anything suspicious. . cops are always trying to scam on chicks
Ruby Slippers Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 If the story is really funny sure, but the OP story isn't funny at all, nor is the Mexican grocer, nor was your ex telling little stories about women flirting at work. The motivation for telling such to someone one is dating is almost never humor. Well, we all have different senses of humor. I thought the original story was funny, and he said she was talking about how they were joking around. I told the "Buenos diiiiaaaas" story to a girlfriend later that evening, and she laughed her butt off. So, apparently it's funny to some. And clearly I was not trying to make my female friend jealous. If a guy is so insecure and suspicious that I'm trying to make him jealous that I can't tell him the funny, ridiculous things that happen to me in my day, I can do without him.
Author Pizzaman81 Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 ...Pizzaman, are YOU any different? What is it about her that makes your little pepperoni heart go pitter pat? Are you just another guy only interested in her because she's such a little Hottie McHotterson? How am I different than the other guys? Great question! I don't know what I am up against But as for me in general, I think I am a very outspoken, social, expressive person. I got a good career and life and I am happy. I try to be light hearted in lots of things. What is it about her that makes me like this hmm... at first when I was introduced to her, I thought she was the materialistic spoiled brat type. But after talking to her, she actually seemed very mature, knows how to carry herself well in public, and her eyes do not look deceiving. But then that's just her looks I guess. I don't know why I like her, I guess we'll have to find out. Stay tuned! Next date in 1 week!
meerkat stew Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 If a guy is so insecure and suspicious that I'm trying to make him jealous that I can't tell him the funny, ridiculous things that happen to me in my day, I can do without him. Well try dating a woman, or several women in a row, who make it a point to tell their BF each and every time another man flirts with them, and you might be more understanding. It has little to do with suspicion, and lots to do with transparent manipulation and insecurity on the part of the person who is always fishing for affirmation.
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