EYECANDY000 Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Hi everyone, Once again I just want to thank everyone for their comments, and advice. It has helped a lot. also, I would like to thank my many friends I have gained from talking to them regarding my dilemna. Well, my ex texted me Happy Valentines day and I didnt respond back. And Monday he sent me a message and asked " Was i going to respond back"? I almost didnt but I decided to respond back arounf 3 in the morning when I knew he was asleep. So we wouldnt go into a long dreaded conversation. So I stated that I was still hurting and just needed some time and some space. and he stated that he was sorry. And I never responded back. Well, I guess my reasoning for telling him that I was hurting was because I felt like if Im hurting then he should hurt as well. or at least feel guilty. after I texted him, I felt so bad. It basically took me back to day one again of NC. I cried for about an hour or so. and then I realized that I have done enough crying for like 10 people. Ive stopped the crying and went back to focusing on myself. I do still love him, and want to be with him but right now i need to be about "self" Since yesterday Ive had a very positive attitude and feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel free again. I sort of feel guilty too, because im not sure why I feel so free, when I love him and want to be with him so bad, but I feel like myself again being apart from him. -Ive noticed that by me giving him his space and not contacting him at all that he is starting to wonder why Im not doing my usual, which is giving in first. -Ive realized what my "self worth" is, and that I shouldnt put up with such verbal abuse - Ive realized that crying, pleading, and begging will only make the situaion worst and it made me look pitiful. His mind was already made up that he wanted to leave the relationship and there was nothing that I could say or do to get him to change his mind. All in all I want to thank everyone!
Awesome Username Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 You're going through the exact phases you should be going through. Eventually you wont emotionally be on your ex's string, and you will feel even more free. My heart is with you, Eyecandy.
Kamille Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Since yesterday Ive had a very positive attitude and feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel free again. I sort of feel guilty too, because im not sure why I feel so free, when I love him and want to be with him so bad, but I feel like myself again being apart from him. Unbalanced relationships have a way of making us forget who we really are and how happy and balance we can be. I know, in the past, that I've gotten so caught up in issues in relationships that when they ended I did feel a sense of freedom. I think you are the kind of person to question yourself when issues arise in your relationships and being asked to continue question your boundaries is mentally exhausting. So I'm not surprised that you feel like yourself again. You had probably lost perspective of just how great you are in trying to figure out why your bf was treating you the way he was. -Ive noticed that by me giving him his space and not contacting him at all that he is starting to wonder why Im not doing my usual, which is giving in first. -Ive realized what my "self worth" is, and that I shouldnt put up with such verbal abuse I'm so proud of you for making those changes Eyecandy! And the best part is that you seem to be learning a lot from this break up. You're very resilient and very smart. - Ive realized that crying, pleading, and begging will only make the situaion worst and it made me look pitiful. His mind was already made up that he wanted to leave the relationship and there was nothing that I could say or do to get him to change his mind. Especially since you weren't the problem in this relationship. His ambivalence towards wanting to be with you was. (I say this because you are taking responsibility for yourself by coming to these realizations). All in all I want to thank everyone! All we did was offer support. You're still doing all the hard work of coming to terms with things and healing. But it really sounds like you're doing it with the best attitude possible.
Author EYECANDY000 Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 You're going through the exact phases you should be going through. Eventually you wont emotionally be on your ex's string, and you will feel even more free. My heart is with you, Eyecandy. Thank you hun.. I just need to take it day by day
Leia Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 You'll get over this ... I know you can! Your avatar is annoyingly adorable! Haha. Love it!
paddington bear Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 wow, this is amazing, hope the feeling stays. Speaking from experience, it has taken me months to look back on a situation with clearer perspective that I just couldn't do when I was in the crying myself to sleep phase. Next Valentine's you'll be hopefully not getting a text, but will be actually spending time with someone who thinks you are cute and funny and adorable
Author EYECANDY000 Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 Unbalanced relationships have a way of making us forget who we really are and how happy and balance we can be. I know, in the past, that I've gotten so caught up in issues in relationships that when they ended I did feel a sense of freedom. I think you are the kind of person to question yourself when issues arise in your relationships and being asked to continue question your boundaries is mentally exhausting. So I'm not surprised that you feel like yourself again. You had probably lost perspective of just how great you are in trying to figure out why your bf was treating you the way he was. I'm so proud of you for making those changes Eyecandy! And the best part is that you seem to be learning a lot from this break up. You're very resilient and very smart. Especially since you weren't the problem in this relationship. His ambivalence towards wanting to be with you was. (I say this because you are taking responsibility for yourself by coming to these realizations). All we did was offer support. You're still doing all the hard work of coming to terms with things and healing. But it really sounds like you're doing it with the best attitude possible. Thanks kamille, for everything! It took me a few days to realize that i wasnt the problem in the relationship. I got so absorbed with him that it wasnt even about me anymore. I had always put his happiness before my own.
Author EYECANDY000 Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 wow, this is amazing, hope the feeling stays. Speaking from experience, it has taken me months to look back on a situation with clearer perspective that I just couldn't do when I was in the crying myself to sleep phase. Next Valentine's you'll be hopefully not getting a text, but will be actually spending time with someone who thinks you are cute and funny and adorable thanks Padding,,, I am doing very good, but I do have my moments. last night while I was walking to my car I started to think about how I use to always talk to him . and I felt the tears about to start. I had to stop, take a few deep breaths, and focus on something else. It is still hard. Which im sure is natural.
counterman Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 I applaud you for your positive attitude Keep up the good work.
Author EYECANDY000 Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 I applaud you for your positive attitude Keep up the good work. Thank You counterman. I know its not a good idea but Im conteplating the idea of dropping off this idea that I have had in my car . Its a small gate for his dogs. I was going to drop it off at his door, when I know he is asleeping, so I dont have to talk to him. But also, he hasnt asked for it, so Im not sure why I want to take it over there
Star Gazer Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Good for you, EC!! It's only up from here!
Star Gazer Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Good for you, EC!! It's only up from here!
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