I plan to use the next guy I date

[soulm8]

I have a history of terrible boyfriends and in many cases it's not my fault. Many of the guys I liked never liked me, so I'd go out with any guy who wanted me. Others hurt me so bad that I'm surprised I recovered. I'd be willing to date other guys, but if I run into the same problems again? It hurts.

 

I feel I have to hurt some guy to make up for those who hurt me. Cruel, yes but it's happened to me so much that I want to hurt some guy.

 

Boyfriends treat us the way we allow them to.

 

You must love yourself before anyone else can love you.

 

How can you avoid repeating history?

[greatgirlfriend]

I let them treat me like dirt because I wanted a boyfriend. I was desperate. It wasn't my fault I couldn't find others. I quit dating for years because of these jerks.

[CaliGuy]

After what men did to me, they deserve it back in spades. They are all evil so it's best to hurt someone like I've been hurt. If I can't have the one I want, I don't want others, so they deserve to be hurt. I can't wait. Right now I am looking at profiles of guys who look desperate. They are going to get theirs.

 

 

The best revenge is a life well lived....

[Chitowngirl]

Since I won't get the guy I want (at least for now) I've decided my next tactic will be to use the next guy. Get him right away to spend money on me. We go out? He buys everything. This will work especially with not so attractive guys. If he has money I'll have fun using him. Meanwhile he'll get no sex. Or if he does get sex it'll be because I've decided I want to marry him or get pregnant. Sure, I may not love him, but if he's stupid enough to go with this, then he deserves all the terrible he can get. Then he'll likely never want to date again after I cheat on him with some hot guy.

 

I should have done this years ago.

 

lol..using a guy for money is one thing, but I don't think you'll find one that'll blow a lot of money on you without giving him sex in return.

[Vicious_Delicious]

You know what's great about having dated a girl with the same mentality as you?

 

They're easier to sniff out the next time they come around. I'd pick up on your little game right from the get go.

 

It's a damn shame, because the next guy you date will probably think the world of you. This is only because he will have such low self esteem that he'll consider any treatment, regardless of how ****ty it is, to be better than no treatment. And when he finally has had enough, you're crazy ass will probably poke holes into the condoms you guys use so he gets suckered into marrying you. Then, you'll start cheating on him, WITH THE TYPE OF GUY WHO YOU'RE COMPLAINING ABOUT RIGHT NOW!!!!!

 

Haha, this is beautiful. I hope you have fun. Just remember, karma is an unrelenting bitch.

 

Look, I'm sorry you've been hurt. But you need to take some time off and heal. Try to regain that positive outlook you once had. It'll come back, if you give it a chance.

[DWill]

I don't plan on sleeping with the guy unless I fool him into asking me to marry him. Maybe not even then (and I'll pawn the ring and dump him anyway).

 

Actually, unless you live in Montana, most states have a "conditional gift" statute that basically states that ownership of the ring is dependent on you actually marrying him (and some states that includes staying married for a certain period of time). Otherwise the ring must be returned.

 

So yeah I wouldn't do that haha. This very situation is probably the reason the law is out there. I mean really who wants to spend a few months salary on a ring for a girl you want to marry only to have her screw you (not in the good way) and pawn it of for a fraction of the price.

 

Anyways I'm sorry you are suffering so much. Some men deserve what you are proposing to do but many don't, but regardless you shouldn't condescend to their level. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find some relief from the obvious great amount of pain you are suffering from.

[samsungxoxo]

I'm wondering about how many men must be laughing out loud reading that post?

The OP is single and she's already talking about her ''revenge plot'' against men? Ok so where is that special man she's looking for?

 

Where is the engagement ring she wants and/or child (she stated about getting pregnant on purpose)?

 

Lastly what makes the OP think that by getting pregnant, the man will be a father to the child? Some men don't care and have no problem leaving and what next is OP is back to square zero.... actually worst because she'll now be another single mother.

 

Many things can go backfiring.

1) The ''decent ones'' figure out her games and run.....

2) The man is playing games the whole time too

3) She gets an engagement ring and become pregnant... only for the man to leave her with the child alone since he got tired of all those games

4) She gets the one but he can turn psycho on her... you never know when some people snap what they are capable of doing if hurt deeply

5) The OP stays single... no men wants to go into her fantasy land....

 

Keep dreaming, after all it's free. Ok let's say you do find your ''Prince Charming'' who falls into all your traps, gives you the engagement ring and becomes a father to your child, what next? Divorce? Walking away from both him and the child?

 

Makes me wonder how would the OP react if her child happens to be a boy? What will she be teaching him?

Edited February 17, 2010 by samsungxoxo

[xXMarlboro_ManXx]

Wow 37 years old I was guessing late teens early 20's. I can't believe that someone that age would act that way. Even if she it doing this thread just for attention it's still if baffling why someone would do that. Anyways good luck with you're plan I think most guys will see that expensive girl + no sex != what most guys are looking for.

[Chicago_Guy]

I let them treat me like dirt because I wanted a boyfriend. I was desperate. It wasn't my fault I couldn't find others. I quit dating for years because of these jerks.

 

So what exactly did those guys do to you that was so bad? I don't understand why people stay in relationships that cause them so much pain. I'd rather be alone.

[Els]

Oh boy, you and calazhage would be totally awesome for one another.

[gypsy_nicky]

Since I won't get the guy I want (at least for now) I've decided my next tactic will be to use the next guy. Get him right away to spend money on me. We go out? He buys everything. This will work especially with not so attractive guys. If he has money I'll have fun using him. Meanwhile he'll get no sex. Or if he does get sex it'll be because I've decided I want to marry him or get pregnant. Sure, I may not love him, but if he's stupid enough to go with this, then he deserves all the terrible he can get. Then he'll likely never want to date again after I cheat on him with some hot guy.

 

I should have done this years ago.

 

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned

[SilkRose]

This sounds like a plan.

 

Seriously, I wouldn't do it. What good will come of it? What will you learn? That you too are capable of using and hurting someone? The best revenge is a life well lived. We all feel this way from time to time, but put it into something constructive.

 

Although, do keep us updated, this could be very interesting.

 

I second that!

 

By hurting other people you'll only hurt yourself. Whatever you experienced in your past relationships involves you and the man/men involved, attacking other men won't change or resolve anything. It's not fair to involve innocent bystanders.

 

I sympathise with the anger, but I'm not involving others in my misery by hurting them.

[SilkRose]

OP consider the behaviour that you are planning, is that how you want a man to treat you? It really is as simple as that.

 

 

 

[lino]

If a dude made a post like this hed get fried..Everyone gets hurt but to say you're gona screw innocent people over and laugh at em because some guy left you?

 

 

Yep... If a guy made a topic like this he'd be getting battered by the regulars non-stop and this topic would probably be thirty pages long.

[bayouboi]

O wow, I totally take back the sympathies I offered you in your other thread where your guy broke things off with you. What a total b***h you've turned out to be.

[greatgirlfriend]

I cancelled the date I made tonight and told the guy why. I felt it wasn't fair to lead him on while I am still pining for another guy who may or may not ever love me back. I also deleted all my profiles. For those who don't understand why I feel this way, you'd have to look at the way I've been treated my entire dating life by men, from being rejected to guys only wanting sex to being conned. Yes, I want a relationship, but apparently this won't happen for me. I should have found the right guy years ago and never did, though I did date a great guy I still like (he's married).

 

I am done with dating. Too much pain.

[Silver_star]

I cancelled the date I made tonight and told the guy why. I felt it wasn't fair to lead him on while I am still pining for another guy who may or may not ever love me back. I also deleted all my profiles. For those who don't understand why I feel this way, you'd have to look at the way I've been treated my entire dating life by men, from being rejected to guys only wanting sex to being conned. Yes, I want a relationship, but apparently this won't happen for me. I should have found the right guy years ago and never did, though I did date a great guy I still like (he's married).

 

I am done with dating. Too much pain.

 

Great girlfriend I can relate to feeling ****ty. To being treated bad by a man, and made to feel worthless. But I know that just because there are guys out there that treat us bad doesnt mean there arent tons out there that know how to treat us right. (same goes for men wiht women who treat them bad ) You dont need to punish others for the behavior of your ex. Hes not really what you need in ur life, and u only want him because he has rejected you. You need to learn ot love yourself and work on yourself and a great man will come along and you have the right to be cautious when your not ready to date...but dont date for revenge and treat other men badly...they will see through it fast enough and your really only punishing yourself. Havent you been through enough pain? Heal...and then try again later.

[greatgirlfriend]

I don't want the one guy because he treated me bad. In fact throughout knowing him I was the one who treated him bad. He was the typical homely "nice guy" and that's what made me fall for him. That's why I keep hoping eventually he does come to his senses. Right now I am in a situation where I can't get superserious anyway so waiting a few months to see (while keeping my casual dating options open) won't affect me. In a few months if I am more financially secure and he's still reluctant to get involved, then I'll assume that's all it'll be and by then I'll be ready to move on.

[JohnnyBlaze]

I cancelled the date I made tonight and told the guy why.

I'm glad. Regardless of who else would've been hurt in the process, on a greedy note, you wouldn't have found what you were looking for. I know it's hard, but you're doing the right thing; you really are.

 

 

I am done with dating. Too much pain.

 

Funny, I've heard this song before. Hell, I've sung it...a few times, now. And for where you are at this point in time, it's the best thing to do. Take some time away from the scene, recuperate, and when you're ready, you'll take the chance again. As much of a PITA as love can be, it is addictive.

[carhill]

I am done with dating. Too much pain.

 

Sounds healthy.

 

BTW, I was often 'used' by women during the two decades I was single and harbor no prejudice; rather, those experiences helped me understand myself better and be able to establish more clear boundaries of treatment. I'm happy to report that, even at my lowest emotionally, I never 'used' a woman and am glad that I resisted that temptation. Good on ya for seeing reality before making regrets for your future. Enjoy the hiatus

[bayouboi]

I cancelled the date I made tonight and told the guy why. I felt it wasn't fair to lead him on while I am still pining for another guy who may or may not ever love me back. I also deleted all my profiles. For those who don't understand why I feel this way, you'd have to look at the way I've been treated my entire dating life by men, from being rejected to guys only wanting sex to being conned. Yes, I want a relationship, but apparently this won't happen for me. I should have found the right guy years ago and never did, though I did date a great guy I still like (he's married).

 

I am done with dating. Too much pain.

 

Okay then, you can have my sympathies back. I'm sorry for your pain but I'm glad for your brain.

[greatgirlfriend]

I haven't dated actually in several years because I didn't care. I was busy with working and my life. The guy I like came into my life again in December and I wasn't looking for a boyfriend then either. I know right now we can't really get serious. Neither one of us is financially ready. I am currently unemployed and he makes little. Even when I get another job, I am need to pay off many bills first. When I do get another job, and pay off my bills it'll take about 6 months. 6 months can make a difference in his feelings. By then he'll likely get promoted in his job. I'm also considering moving near him, no not because of him (he lives an hour away) but because all the jobs are near him and it's likely my new job will be by him (I live in the middle of nowhere and no good jobs here). I know someone will say these are excuses, but they are not. If he still feels this way (and he might) then yes by then I'll be ready to move on. It's not fair to do this to another guy now.

Edited February 17, 2010 by greatgirlfriend

[carhill]

Please explain why 'getting serious' has anything to do with being 'financially ready'....

 

I've run into a few women like this. Unless all the ducks are neatly aligned in a perfectly coiffed row, no joy. Emphasis on no joy. IMO, it's how one handles such things which determines their relative health. Thus spoken by a self-employed man getting a divorce with the economy and business in the tank. Imagine that reality. You can have a positive outlook on your own life and dating, no matter the circumstances, if you *want* to. It's up to you. Me, personally? When I encounter such a woman, I see us as incompatible. I want a woman who sees the positive in everything and will stand by my side during the tough times; something my stbx didn't do.

[greatgirlfriend]

Because I am broke now and can't move or do much. I don't have much money now. Not saying I'll need a huge savings, but I can't afford to do much. I don't want guys to think I am out for their money.

[donnamaybe]

No, two weeks ago he said he wanted to take it slow. Much different than he wants to be friends.

 

And THEN he learned who you really are inside (what we are seeing in this thread) and RAN FOR THE HILLS. See, no matter what kind of thin veneer a person tries to lay over their true persona, eventually others see through it.