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I plan to use the next guy I date

greatgirlfriend

By greatgirlfriend
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greatgirlfriend Established Member

greatgirlfriend

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Because he could be scared I'll reject him again. Or he might want to develop our friendship (remember we haven't seen each other in 10 years) before we get serious. If he saiddd he never wanted to see me, that would be another story.

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

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Since I won't get the guy I want (at least for now) I've decided my next tactic will be to use the next guy. Get him right away to spend money on me. We go out? He buys everything. This will work especially with not so attractive guys. If he has money I'll have fun using him. Meanwhile he'll get no sex. Or if he does get sex it'll be because I've decided I want to marry him or get pregnant. Sure, I may not love him, but if he's stupid enough to go with this, then he deserves all the terrible he can get. Then he'll likely never want to date again after I cheat on him with some hot guy.

 

I should have done this years ago.

 

What is wrong with you????? I haven't read this thread, just this one opening post by you.

 

Karma. Remember that! To knowingly go out and be cruel, to screw someone over because you may have issues, mistrust of men, been screwed over yourself, is just a plain awful thing to do to another human being.

Kamille Established Member

Kamille

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Because he could be scared I'll reject him again.

 

How long did you two date back then?

Twenty-ten Established Member

Twenty-ten

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Because he could be scared I'll reject him again. Or he might want to develop our friendship (remember we haven't seen each other in 10 years) before we get serious. If he saiddd he never wanted to see me, that would be another story.

 

 

Look I said it earlier in the thread and I will say it again, if he needs you by his side right now and not for a relationship why can't you give him that? If you do decide to be his friend for now, just what he needs for the time being, and you find out he is two timing you or lying to you that is a different story.

Has he dated since his ex the gold digger in the past 3 yrs?

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

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After what men did to me, they deserve it back in spades. They are all evil so it's best to hurt someone like I've been hurt. If I can't have the one I want, I don't want others, so they deserve to be hurt. I can't wait. Right now I am looking at profiles of guys who look desperate. They are going to get theirs.

 

I say this nicely and respectfully.. You need to get help, get therapy and sort out your issues otherwise you're going to turn into a bitter, nasty, cruel woman. And you'll stay unhappy for the rest of your life. Not only that, but what you put out there, eventually comes back your way.

 

Let me ask, how much of what you've been through have been just bad luck, or was it your choices in men? if you keep choosing the same type of man over and over again, then it's time to look in the mirror and FIX yourself.

Twenty-ten Established Member

Twenty-ten

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I say this nicely and respectfully.. You need to get help, get therapy and sort out your issues otherwise you're going to turn into a bitter, nasty, cruel woman. And you'll stay unhappy for the rest of your life. Not only that, but what you put out there, eventually comes back your way.

 

Let me ask, how much of what you've been through have been just bad luck, or was it your choices in men? if you keep choosing the same type of man over and over again, then it's time to look in the mirror and FIX yourself.

 

 

Noticed you said you only read the OP we've covered all that already, read the thread. ;)

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greatgirlfriend Established Member

greatgirlfriend

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Back then we were friends and went out to the movies and "dating" activites. We never kissed then but did when I saw him. He still wants to do things like that without the romantic aspect (ie kissing or anything sexual). I will still be his friend because it is possible eventually he'll be ready to date. He dumped the gold digger in 2006. No he hasn't dated since then.

Twenty-ten Established Member

Twenty-ten

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Back then we were friends and went out to the movies and "dating" activites. We never kissed then but did when I saw him. He still wants to do things like that without the romantic aspect (ie kissing or anything sexual). I will still be his friend because it is possible eventually he'll be ready to date. He dumped the gold digger in 2006. No he hasn't dated since then.

 

 

I don't know this particular guy, but I do know that contrary to what we hear and read about how all men are not all men operate in the same manner once they have been hurt or scarred when a relationship ends. Some men also close up, much like what you want to do now, and feel this need to stay alone for a very long time. He may very well be still emotionally detached, and three years is a long time. At this point it may just feel more comfortable for him to be alone than to get hurt so he continues to put a wall up even though his heart tells him he wants to be close to someone again and have that intimacy his mind is telling him, "no beware."

 

The other option is that he just doesn't want to be with you romantically, something happened along the way recently that made him change his mind about you as a romantic partner. Was there anything that stands out?

2sunny Established Member

2sunny

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He said we'll be friends and he'll come to visit. I keep hoping that he was having a bad day because he's the one I want. I don't want anyone else. If I don't get him, then yes I will likely use a guy because this isn't fair to me.

 

My love life won't improve because he's the only one I want. That's the fact. He shares my views, my values, and my hobbies. The fact is there aren't many guys like him at my age. And no, he's not cute either, because I don't care about that. He'll still visit me and yes I want him. He's my only wish. Otherwise I'll end up with some guy I don't love and that's not fair.

 

life isn't fair. realize that as a fact and stop with the intentions of hurting others.

 

work through the pain with a therapist and find out what makes you such and extremely vindictive person. this attitude and nastiness won't attract anyone who is decent.

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greatgirlfriend Established Member

greatgirlfriend

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I don't know this particular guy, but I do know that contrary to what we hear and read about how all men are not all men operate in the same manner once they have been hurt or scarred when a relationship ends. Some men also close up, much like what you want to do now, and feel this need to stay alone for a very long time. He may very well be still emotionally detached, and three years is a long time. At this point it may just feel more comfortable for him to be alone than to get hurt so he continues to put a wall up even though his heart tells him he wants to be close to someone again and have that intimacy his mind is telling him, "no beware."

 

The other option is that he just doesn't want to be with you romantically, something happened along the way recently that made him change his mind about you as a romantic partner. Was there anything that stands out?

 

No, nothing. In fact when he got home he called me and said he was happy I was his girlfriend. He even said it wasn't me, it was him.

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

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Noticed you said you only read the OP we've covered all that already, read the thread. ;)

 

17 pages? Maybe another time. I get the jist of what's going on and from what I've read on the last page, it seems this has gone full circle.

 

BOTTOMLINE is, she needs help. She's knowingly making bad choices or planning to, all because of her own bad experiences. Counselling is a MUST.

 

I know apples and oranges... but I am going to say it anyway..

 

A kid gets beat up, abused by his father. Is it OK later in life for that boy who has grown up, married, has a son of his own to go beat his own child, his son? Just because he was abused growing up? Again, apples and oranges here..But girlfriend is more or less using her own bad hurts, experiences and going to hurt someone else because life isn't fair and she feels since she hurt, it's only fair for the men she dates to hurt too.

 

Sorry, that's pretty messed up. I don't need to read 17 pages to recognize this.

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greatgirlfriend Established Member

greatgirlfriend

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He did say his mind was telling him not to but his heart was saying yes. I know when I dated the con artist it took me years to recover but I did.

luvflower Established Member

luvflower

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Men use women for sex..

 

so true...all day every day...

Twenty-ten Established Member

Twenty-ten

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He did say his mind was telling him not to but his heart was saying yes. I know when I dated the con artist it took me years to recover but I did.

 

 

Did you explore that with him? Why his mind was telling him not to? What was it about getting involved with you that made his mind take caution?

Twenty-ten Established Member

Twenty-ten

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17 pages? Maybe another time. I get the jist of what's going on and from what I've read on the last page, it seems this has gone full circle.

 

Sorry, that's pretty messed up. I don't need to read 17 pages to recognize this.

 

 

Well my post to you was in response to that:

 

What is wrong with you????? I haven't read this thread, just this one opening post by you.

 

Karma. Remember that! To knowingly go out and be cruel, to screw someone over because you may have issues, mistrust of men, been screwed over yourself, is just a plain awful thing to do to another human being.

 

Clearly at that point you didn't know what was going on, Now you have read more and can join in on the discussion as it has evolved, which is far beyond what she posted in the OP.

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

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I do know her past posts, so I'm not going in blind here.

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greatgirlfriend Established Member

greatgirlfriend

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Did you explore that with him? Why his mind was telling him not to? What was it about getting involved with you that made his mind take caution?

 

Because in his mind "all women hurt". I guess he's been burned a few times. He was the homely nice guy that women took advantage of.

2sunny Established Member

2sunny

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i find it interesting that twenty ten and great girlfriend joined this site within a day of each other - and both have the exact same writing style... could they be the same person - feeding this awful thread the way it reads?

 

i think it's definitely possible... :sick:

Twenty-ten Established Member

Twenty-ten

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Because in his mind "all women hurt". I guess he's been burned a few times. He was the homely nice guy that women took advantage of.

 

 

So why did he ask you out then?

2sunny Established Member

2sunny

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So why did he ask you out then?

 

why do you ask so many questions to her? oh ya, to feed the thread... :rolleyes:

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greatgirlfriend Established Member

greatgirlfriend

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So why did he ask you out then?

 

Because he said he was ready to date again. Even when he walked in, he said I looked like I did years ago. We sat and talked for about an hour and we kissed right away. He even touched my hair and said he was impressed by me. He then said he was falling.

Twenty-ten Established Member

Twenty-ten

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i find it interesting that twenty ten and great girlfriend joined this site within a day of each other - and both have the exact same writing style... could they be the same person - feeding this awful thread the way it reads?

 

i think it's definitely possible... :sick:

 

 

WTF!?!? what same writing style, the OP makes two sentence posts. That is really insulting! here I am trying to help this woman out, who is clearly in pain and confused and you accuse me of being a troll in cahoots with the OP to get what exactly out of this?

 

 

I don't really care what you think is possible, keep your delusions to yourself will you? I am trying to help her out. You just want to continue insulting the OP and have no desire to see this discussion through past the drama in the initial post like a lot of the drama addicts around here who only pipe in to fight and to throw insults at people who are messes up. I took the time to turn this discussion around to help the OP think in a more positive way and I get called out to be some prankster troll? :mad:

2sunny Established Member

2sunny

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Because he said he was ready to date again. Even when he walked in, he said I looked like I did years ago. We sat and talked for about an hour and we kissed right away. He even touched my hair and said he was impressed by me. He then said he was falling.

 

who cares? just use him already and stop dreaming about how bad you plan to be. you'll be back in a few months complaining about something else.

Twenty-ten Established Member

Twenty-ten

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why do you ask so many questions to her? oh ya, to feed the thread... :rolleyes:

 

 

Kamille and others were asking just as many questions as I am why are you zeroing me out? Maybe you're the troll.

2sunny Established Member

2sunny

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specific writing styles are completely obvious when you've posted on a board as this for as long as some of us have been here.

 

the two of you are one in the same.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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