momtotyandlog Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I have gone on 4 dates with a man I know from church. He is a really nice guy, raised his 4 kdis from the ages of 4-8 to 15-19 all by himself, mom disappeared. Kids are wonderful, sweet, kind...even the young teen ! They dont' go out partying, getting into trouble, seems he did a great job. Now..about him. We were talking yesterday morning and he said that he wishes I would consider giving him a big chance because he is a great guy, loves Jesus, loves his children, tries his hardest to do the best, does not lie about anything..etc etc. The last thing he said is "And I'm very hard to get rid of " ...could be completely innocent. Kissing me goodbye he bit my tongue, i assume playfully only it was pretty hard. I told him that I did not like it that hard and he has done it again, only much softer. HERE IS THE BIGGEST CONCERN I HAVE. He told me that he drug tests his kids regularly. They don't get a choice. Then he said that he WATCHES THEM so they can't switch their pee. One of those kids is a 18 year old girl. I said "you watch your daughter pee ?" He said I am her father, there is nothing wrong with it. Then he said "just kidding. do you really think she would let me ?" Then he said he was being honest about not watching and was just joking... I may be overreacting. My youngest was molested by his father, and although we were divorced I still did not know for a while and I can't believe that their were no signs. So I am wary of any man. One more little thing, he says at least once per conversation, Let me tell you the truth or i am being honest here. . I saw on a show once that when people have to say that, they are actually lying. So what do youthink ? I am feeling uncertain, but like I said I tend to be overcautious. EVERYONE thinks this guy is amazing. Plays in the contemparary band, teaches high school sunday school, helps anyone anytime without complaint. He says that "the Lord has shown him that we will be together and he is just waiting for me to see he is right... ??? Thanks so much ! Candy
alphamale Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 So what do youthink ? sounds like a weirdo, these religious types can be a bit strange
Malenfant Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 anyone who says 'trust me' or words to that effect a lot should be given a wide berth. Trust your instincts, he sounds odd to me.
one goal Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I see nothing wrong. they always say the key to getting a girl is persistance.
D-Lish Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Like others have said, trust your instincts. If something seems off- it's because it probably is.
sid3 Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 He sounds creepy. What's the deal with the tongue biting? He gets off by your pain. Religion has nothing to do with how some people really are. Some of the most screwed up people you'd ever meet are very active in church. They belong on Jerry Springer. Anyhow, I think you should trust your instincts, your going to be hyper aware of his behavior now as you've mentioned you think some things about him are creepy. Not the way I'd want to be starting a relationship. Sad, a lot of great guys turn out to be so twisted individuals that people were completely clueless about until the truth came out. I think it's true, you can't judge a book by it's cover.
soulm8 Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Trust your instincts - he sounds to me like a control freak. I also do not readily trust those who say, "trust me..."
Author momtotyandlog Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 I was going to probably end up listening to my inner self and telling him I did not want to date again, but now i feel even better about it ! You have given me all the answers that are in my head. I can't believe the people at the church think he is a saint. He must never act "normal" around them. I just remembered one more thing..when he was leaving I noticed his pupils were so teeny tiny. There was a light on but it was on very low. His eyes should have been dilated totally. Thanks for your words. They mean alot. And to the poster who talked about men turning out to be psycho ? It just makes it so hard to ever trust anyone, even if one day you do find one who truly is good. This would be the last man anyone thought would have these characteristics. OH MAN...LISTEN TO THIS ! i also remembered that for about 5 seconds he put his hand on the front of my thoat, not choking me but it would have only took a squeeze to cut off my breath...oh wow..i totally blocked that out. I couldhave been in a bad situation. All of you rock !!! Candy
sugarmomma Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 4 dates and the lord has shown him that you are the one? Yea I would say run, don't walk!! I had one said that he loved me the first time he saw me. Just a bunch of BS to get in your head. Don't believe it for a minute since actions speak louder than words. Also, I dated a man that said he didn't cheat or lie was a preachers kid and loved the lord. He was the weirdest dude I had met in a long time. Religious people are humans too.
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