Jersey Shortie Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Calazhage: Either way, the man is still usually playing the provider role. Do men really still provide today like they use to? I think most families are duel income. Women work. In the past men did provide and women looked to someone who would provide for her. But men aren’t so interested in that role anymore. And women aren’t so interested in necessary having someone take care of her. So if men are no longer interested in providing and protecting, why should women settle for older men? We can get the same things from someone younger. We’ve seen in the past few decades women basing their choices more on things stereotypically men picked. That being the case, we can pick younger more attractive, stronger, more sexually potent men. A man's sperm is more potent in his 20s, then in his 30s or 40s, we can agree yes? If the name of the game is finding the most optimal partner for breeding, as you said men are doing, then women should do the same no? ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Johnny M: If that was true, you wouldn't be acting so defensive. Interesting! We can apply your very own reasoning to you as well. You’re awfully intent in this thread. Some of you people are so delusional, you actually believe your own nonsense. I get it, women want to stay young forever, but that's no excuse for living in denial. But you're only fooling yourself. Who is living in denial of anything? Women don't think they stay young forever. They also don't think men stay young forever and they don't think a man holds more value for aging. Can we agree on one thing? That men and women BOTH want to feel desire, passion, companionship no matter their age? What women get annoyed with is the fact that we can't win. We are damned if we do and damned if we don't because either way, we are going to get older and by male standards, we deserve to be shafted for it. If this is what men think of us, then we would be foolish to put much trust and faith in men overall. Wouldn't you agree? Women AND men get older but that doesn't mean they want to or SHOULD stop wanting to feeling like a woman or a man. The message in this thread is that some men seem to WANT to make women feel like less, crawl in a corner and die so that they can bang their daughter's friends..or the likes of that. Maybe that's the kind of world that would make you happy? Maybe a law should be inacted to shoot all women over 40 leaving only the ones that are worthwhile? That way wonderful men like you can life full happy lives well into your 60s and 70s and women can know that their place in the world is only really good for a good 10 years of their life...20-30. Would that be preferable to you? ....ideally I want women to understand that they should have reasonable and realistic expectations if they want to be happy. What do you consider reasonable expectations? To settle down while their young (great in theory but unfortunetly isn't always an option), with someone twice their age, while he got to use all that time before he met her to have fun and sleep around with various women? To bare his children, destroy her body and slink off into the corner so that he can continue to lust after 20 year old girls? What kind of future is that for any woman? What are women suppose to look forward to even if we do settle down with a man that clearly things women are expandable based on their age? That doesn't give us much of a bright future. I don't think it sounds like you want women to be happy at all. I also want women to realize that they should go for men they can actually get..., But what does it matter? The man is most likely *still* going to judge our value to him based on our age. And since we get older, our value will diminish. What man or woman here wants to be with anyone who thinks that their value only diminishes over time? I will ask again because it's a good serious question, what man or woman here wants to be with ANYONE woh thinks that their value only dminishes with time? Women who have unrealistically high standards and expectations inevitably fail to meet them and become disenchanted, bitter, and jaded (kind of like most women on this board). This, in turn, makes them even less attractive and feeds into the vicious circle of failure. The last thing this world needs is more miserable, bitter women. An aging woman who is still desperately cluthcing to her teenage fantasies is truly a sad spectacle. You look at a woman like that and wonder what her life could have been like if she had an ounce of common sense. LOL, what coulder her life have been? Being tied to a man that thinks she is a diminishing commodity? Who needs that. Sitting there and taking care of his kids while he sits infront of his computer looking at 18 year old cheerleaders...what kind of life is that to ahve? not one of any value! What kind of incentive is that? It's not an incentive at all. Maybe that's the exact reason so many women opt out of their relationships with men. *shrug*. Who needs to stick around and watch her own man oggle women half her age after the years of dedications she put to him, their family and relationshp. Women have learned that they can be happier on their own doing their own thing and that while it's nice to have a man in your life, it's not the end of the world if you don't have one. Melody matters Not to mention being called an easy lay ( that's the only reason we are approached), or having a "vagina that 200 guys have been in" simply because of their birth cerificate. Many of my 16 yr olds schoolmates have been with more men than I . Yeah, those were pretty demeaning comments. As they were meant to be by the men that said them.
stillafool Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 A better question would be why would a 40 yr old single man want a woman his age or older? Either way, the man is still usually playing the provider role. A 40 yr old man does not need a woman's "life experience" to make it through the day. Since men can choose (plenty of younger women want older men), they go for the younger version with less miles.. What is so hard to believe? As for online, that medium is getting more old ladies laid than any other possible way.. A guy sits down, emails about 30 older women in about 20 minutes, then picks who he might have the best chance at sex with. Of course, when that same man wants a relationship he will change his target age to younger women. I don't understand. If older women are so disgusting, why would the guy email 30 older women in the first place? Especially to see who he "might have the best chance at sex with". His choice should always be the yonger woman, right? Why even bother having sex with the older ladies especially when they are sooooooooo undesirable? :rolleyes:
stillafool Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 A. Women intitiate 70% of divorces.. The idea that men are marrying women and the "casting them off for younger women as they age" is silly and rare. Stop contradicting yourself! Remember, "men want younger women"! Old and young men want younger women. So just because a man is married he is different from the rest? C'mon, which is it? Anyway, if what you say is really true, you are giving women the idea to have as much casual sex as possible because a man will have no use for you whatsoever once you turn 40.
Barky Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Those who can't understand why men find younger women attractive should look up the term "evolution."
stillafool Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Those who can't understand why men find younger women attractive should look up the term "evolution." Oh, I definitely understand why men find younger women attractive as I myself find young men attractive. Let's face it, youth is pretty.
You'reasian Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 I've been looking at some online profiles recently, just in case I ever get over my ex and decide to date again. Just looking for now. But nearly all of the men are looking for younger women. I mean I know it's a cliche but I'm kind of surprised at how often the men who are, say, 42, are looking for someone who is 28-38. Even the ones who say they don't want kids. Why is that? All of my exes have been my age or younger, not intentionally as you can't always tell how old someone is when you first meet, but it looks like if we'd crossed paths online instead, we never would have gotten together. Granted this online thing is totally new to me, but it seemed pretty consistent on the site I was visiting. Is this typical? Men and age are like... women and size lol you gotta have the best thing that meets your needs right, right? lol
St. Nick Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 so angelam, it looks like yer question has been answered. older men want younger women because: 1. younger women are more physically attractive than older women. 2. younger women don't seem as bitter as their older counterparts. 3. younger women have higher chances of having children. 4. many younger women are attracted to older men. 5. the younger the woman the longer it takes for her to age and hit menopause.
SarahRose Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Who said anything about successful or professional? Or for that matter, attractive? Some of these guys look like my dad. It's called wishful thinking!
calazhage Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 I don't understand. If older women are so disgusting, why would the guy email 30 older women in the first place? Especially to see who he "might have the best chance at sex with". His choice should always be the yonger woman, right? Why even bother having sex with the older ladies especially when they are sooooooooo undesirable? :rolleyes: Having a sexual fetish is not the same as wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone.
SarahRose Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 These guys are going to get old. they really don't age well because they usually don't take care of themselves. Why would some young thing want a doddering old sickly guy in his 60s and 70s who has one foot on the grave and one on the banana peel? It really is just wishful fantasy thinking to think any 20 year old is going to want to nurse maid some 60 year old guy unless he is leaving her a lot of money.
calazhage Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 These guys are going to get old. they really don't age well because they usually don't take care of themselves. Why would some young thing want a doddering old sickly guy in his 60s and 70s who has one foot on the grave and one on the banana peel? It really is just wishful fantasy thinking to think any 20 year old is going to want to nurse maid some 60 year old guy unless he is leaving her a lot of money. The OP is talking about a single guy who is 42 wanting a woman 28-38.. Why are you mentioning a 40 year age difference?
St. Nick Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 These guys are going to get old. they really don't age well because they usually don't take care of themselves. Why would some young thing want a doddering old sickly guy in his 60s and 70s who has one foot on the grave and one on the banana peel? It really is just wishful fantasy thinking to think any 20 year old is going to want to nurse maid some 60 year old guy unless he is leaving her a lot of money. Tell this to the women in their 20s and 30s dating way older men. It's been common for centuries for younger women to go with older men. That's why older men put their age preference for women so far below their own age.
tigressA Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Granted this online thing is totally new to me, but it seemed pretty consistent on the site I was visiting. Is this typical? I've found that it is typical since being on an online dating site. I'm only 22 and I've gotten A LOT of messages/winks from men over 30--some even pushing 40 or 50, and it grosses me out. And this despite me putting a strict age limit in my profile.
SarahRose Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Tell this to the women in their 20s and 30s dating way older men. It's been common for centuries for younger women to go with older men. That's why older men put their age preference for women so far below their own age. For centuries because there is money involved. It isn't because he is hot or some fantastic lover.
SarahRose Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 I've found that it is typical since being on an online dating site. I'm only 22 and I've gotten A LOT of messages/winks from men over 30--some even pushing 40 or 50, and it grosses me out. And this despite me putting a strict age limit in my profile. Thank you for being honest. These old goats are delusional about young women like you wanting them. Let me ask how many of your friends your age are with guys in their 40s and 50s? I remember being 22. I wasn't interested in 40 years olds that is for sure.
tigressA Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Thank you for being honest. These old goats are delusional about young women like you wanting them. Let me ask how many of your friends your age are with guys in their 40s and 50s? I remember being 22. I wasn't interested in 40 years olds that is for sure. You're welcome. I wouldn't date a significantly older man--30 or older--regardless of what he looked like, how much money he made, whatever. For one thing, I've always viewed it as desperate, sad and gross when older men go for younger women. For another, I know I wouldn't relate to an older man nearly as well as I would someone closer to my age.
St. Nick Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 For centuries because there is money involved. It isn't because he is hot or some fantastic lover. Well then, that answers your question on why a 20-something would get into a relationship with a "doddering old sickly guy in his 60s and 70s who has one foot on the grave and one on the banana peel". I was just responding because your post made it seem like it was impossible or uncommon, and it's neither.
sagetalk Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 I've found that it is typical since being on an online dating site. I'm only 22 and I've gotten A LOT of messages/winks from men over 30--some even pushing 40 or 50, and it grosses me out. And this despite me putting a strict age limit in my profile. I'm in my late 20's and women in their mid 30's and 40's have messaged me. My age range is on there as well. It happens to people that are attractive . And by the looks of your photo, I'd definitely say you fall into that category.
calazhage Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 For centuries because there is money involved. It isn't because he is hot or some fantastic lover. Actually societies in which money is not even a concept (indigenous communities), women still prefer older men for wisdom, knowledge, and leadership. I have female friends that PREFER much older men and they are far from materialistic.. Some of the men they want have a hard time they are wanted just for being older..
PhillyDude Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 I've been looking at some online profiles recently, just in case I ever get over my ex and decide to date again. Just looking for now. But nearly all of the men are looking for younger women. I mean I know it's a cliche but I'm kind of surprised at how often the men who are, say, 42, are looking for someone who is 28-38. Even the ones who say they don't want kids. Why is that? All of my exes have been my age or younger, not intentionally as you can't always tell how old someone is when you first meet, but it looks like if we'd crossed paths online instead, we never would have gotten together. Granted this online thing is totally new to me, but it seemed pretty consistent on the site I was visiting. Is this typical? Because most go for younger women. a 42 year old is not gping to say, I prefer a woman 44-54
tigressA Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 You're welcome. I wouldn't date a significantly older man--30 or older--regardless of what he looked like, how much money he made, whatever. For one thing, I've always viewed it as desperate, sad and gross when older men go for younger women. For another, I know I wouldn't relate to an older man nearly as well as I would someone closer to my age. Let me also state that I think the same of older women and younger men--I've always gotten this vibe, from both older men and women, that they're trying to recapture their youth or something when pursuing someon significantly younger. Not saying either shouldn't pursue who they want, but that's just my take on it. And thanks, sage, but it doesn't take away from the fact that I still find it incredibly creepy. Even if I found them good-looking I'd be grossed out--and of course none of them have been. They were all potbellied and balding, apparently seriously thinking they had a chance with a 22-year-old.
RobM Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Just wait until you all you 20 and 30 somethings are 40 or 50 somethings, many of you will change your tune.
crosswordfiend Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 I haven't read the entire thread, but would like to add that now that I'm in my mid-thirties, I finally look like I'm in my mid- to late-twenties so naturally I'm getting lots of attention from girls in their early-twenties... It's flattering but kind of weird at the same time. This is all in real life mind you - I would never get past the filter online.
PhillyDude Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 I haven't read the entire thread, but would like to add that now that I'm in my mid-thirties, I finally look like I'm in my mid- to late-twenties so naturally I'm getting lots of attention from girls in their early-twenties... It's flattering but kind of weird at the same time. This is all in real life mind you - I would never get past the filter online. I'm in my 30's too and love the attention I get from girls in the 20-24 age bracket
St. Nick Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Let me also state that I think the same of older women and younger men--I've always gotten this vibe, from both older men and women, that they're trying to recapture their youth or something when pursuing someon significantly younger. Not saying either shouldn't pursue who they want, but that's just my take on it. And thanks, sage, but it doesn't take away from the fact that I still find it incredibly creepy. Even if I found them good-looking I'd be grossed out--and of course none of them have been. They were all potbellied and balding, apparently seriously thinking they had a chance with a 22-year-old. LOL. I'm damn sure many of the women your age who have dated a much older man once felt the same way you do. As all guys know, women will say one thing and then do the opposite. Once again, it has been quite common for younger women to get into relationships with much younger women for centuries. These guys are hitting on you because they know the odds of finding a woman your age are good. You, personally, may be the exceptional 22 year old woman who won't date an older man under any circumstances whatsoever, but your kind is definitely in the minority.
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