What's the deal with men and age?

[sagetalk]

It doesn't matter what your age is, if your hot men will want to date you. If you think you're out of shape, get a gym membership and start burning fat. In a few months most men 35+ won't give a flip how old you are.

[carhill]

My online profile says explicitly that I'm looking for someone around my age (old). I might go mid-40's but nothing younger. Too many bad memories

 

It hasn't stopped younger women from contacting me. Spammers and gold-diggers, most likely

[angelaM]

I can't answer this because I married an older woman and it is great. Age was not a factor for either one of us though. It was more beside the point. You can use this as a filter. Think of it is quality vs quantity.

 

Excellent point. And I'm glad it's working for you!

[angelaM]

It doesn't matter what your age is, if your hot men will want to date you. If you think you're out of shape, get a gym membership and start burning fat. In a few months most men 35+ won't give a flip how old you are.

 

It's the online thing that's a mystery to me. I'm in good shape and men often think I'm younger than I am, but there's no way I would respond to someone's dating profile if he said he was only interested in women several years younger than either of us. It just seems like a rather arbitrary sorting mechanism if you're trying to meet someone new.

[calazhage]

Age is the most importants factor when men are seeking a woman.. Sorry ladies, reality. Funny how some women want older men their entire lives until they get older themselves.

 

Studies also show men go through a midlife crisis not because of their own age, but it is step with when their wives go through menopause.

[Johnny M]

and for your information... older women are not easy.. they're even more picky...

Oh please, give me a break I wasn't born yesterday. Older women who are into younger guys (a.k.a. cougars) are notoriously easy to pick up. In fact, you don't even need to pick them up - they try to pick you up! It must have been a while since the last time you've checked out the bar scene.

[Johnny M]

Younger women have nicer skin, brighter eyes, few wrinkles, etc. but for most men, these slight advantages are not enough to tip the scale towards younger women v a woman his own age who takes care of herself.

I usually agree with your posts, but come on now. Slight advantages?? Very few 40 year old women look even remotely as good as their 25 year old counterparts, regardless of how much yoga they do and how much botox they inject. The very few who remain youthful-looking by the time they hit the big 4-0 have exceptionally good genes.

 

Attraction forms primarily in the brain, not the loins, and though every now and then we meet someone who flips our crank and could be completely braindead, for the most part there are strong intellectual and emotional components in attraction and mating, and shared quantities and qualities of life experience are as important as a youthful appearance to many.

I disagree. The primal urge is to mate with physically attractive, youthful looking females. You might go for an older woman because of practical considerations (i.e. she's more mature, has a full time job, is easier to deal with, etc.) but that has nothing to do with attraction.

[OpenBook]

Oh please, give me a break I wasn't born yesterday. Older women who are into younger guys (a.k.a. cougars) are notoriously easy to pick up. In fact, you don't even need to pick them up - they try to pick you up! It must have been a while since the last time you've checked out the bar scene.

 

Maybe because she doesn't need to go to a bar.

 

I have had the same experience here in my latter years. When I was younger I couldn't get a date to save my life. Now all I have to do is walk down the street, or run up to the store, and I get hammered on. Men of all ages. It's the damndest thing I've ever seen. And I see couples all the time now where the woman is quite a bit older than her H/BF. I didn't used to see that hardly at all.

[sally4sara]

When I was younger, I found nothing desirable about older men. Their paunch, their disappearing hair and lack of coloring, their acne scars of youth not fading but hollowing out deeper for the crows feet and mouth lines, hair growing out of their ears.....and the smell of desperation when they would try to catch my interest or when I would see one of my girlfriends toy with them for attention and drama.

 

And they still approach me only they are my age or slightly older. I worked night jobs in my twenties and never fell for the tanning bed fad when it hit in the late 80s/early 90s. UV rays are a bitch folks! Sun lovers of either gender do not fair well as they age. But the looks of disappointment when my chonology didn't match my appearance? Now what is THAT about? If men liking younger women were just about appearance, a woman who appear much younger would fit the bill. No, part of it is the desire to have an upper hand and a few tricks the other likely hasn't learned to filter out yet. The desire to corrupt as well, a (hopefully!) more naive individual than themselves.

 

Nah, I'll pass on that game. Why would I care if a person like that doesn't want to bother with me? Besides, my husband is 6 years younger than I am and most folks think he is the older of us. Likely due to the level of acceptability to the man being older being assumed, but hey - at least we can share in that rocking chair dream.

[calazhage]

Maybe because she doesn't need to go to a bar.

 

I have had the same experience here in my latter years. When I was younger I couldn't get a date to save my life. Now all I have to do is walk down the street, or run up to the store, and I get hammered on. Men of all ages. It's the damndest thing I've ever seen. And I see couples all the time now where the woman is quite a bit older than her H/BF. I didn't used to see that hardly at all.

 

 

Often times in certain situations men hit on what they feel is easiest.. The easiest sexual conquest. No nervousness at all, as they feel better than the woman they are approaching for sex..

 

Do you really feel you are more attractive now than when you were younger?

[OpenBook]

Do you really feel you are more attractive now than when you were younger?

 

No, I don't! But apparently they do. That's part of why I can't figure it out.

[Jersey Shortie]

I hate these age threads. They have a way of making a woman feel beat down and hopeless about it all.

 

Neither men or women want to be expendable for age. There isn't one person here that doesn't hope that as they get older, that the other gender will still see them as a sexy worthy person. But the message here is that men do not find women to be a worthy people past a certain age while they freely what to build up their own worthiness for their age.

 

I use to defend older guys. But after hearing the way some guys talk about women and their aging process,it's hard to still offer that same kindness to men. If men don't think women get better as they get older, I will not extend the same kindness towards men either anymore. If a man is only ever going to look at a woman as a depreciating asset, then there isn't much hope for any woman.

 

If men discontinue women based on age, then no matter what age you are as a woman, 20 or 40, to put any stock in men for how fleeting their loyatly is, would be stupid right?

 

We get it guys. You like younger women. Just shoot us in the head and be done with it so you can create the kind of world you really want. At least that way you don't have to be saddled with 4o year old wives that still wish for desire, love and companionship. Since you are pretty much saying that a woman might as well be dead after a certain age. You can even bang your daughter's friends. That might even be the kind of world that men secretly want. It certainly sounds like it from this thread.

 

 

By 'their' age.. I meant 'around' their age... Men are like women... if they go for the younger ones for long term... they'll eventually get replaced... no men or women want that.. so I stand by what I've said.. men that go for younger.. if they don't think they'll get 'replaced' in the long run.. are in denial...

 

and for your information... older women are not easy.. they're even more picky...

 

Yeah, I agree here. The older men I dated were always trying to get me to settle down with them. I didn't want to settle down with them. They were fun to date, but much like younger men dating older women, I didn't take them as seriously as they took me.

 

And the truth is, no one wants to be replaced or used for one aspect or another. Men don't age better then women. There was a thread here recently where people were talking about how women are gaga over the young guys from Twilight.

[nddb]

Not in the market but when I was, I have always preferred older women. People are different but even with that caveat, older women seem to know themselves better, which translates into confidence (sexy) and less game-playing.

 

As to women aging, it depends genetic and how well women take care of themselves. My wife is older than me, yet she looks much younger and still within a few pounds of her college weight .

[Johnny M]

I use to defend older guys. But after hearing the way some guys talk about women and their aging process,it's hard to still offer that same kindness to men. If men don't think women get better as they get older, I will not extend the same kindness towards men either anymore. If a man is only ever going to look at a woman as a depreciating asset, then there isn't much hope for any woman.

No one needs your 'kindness', Jersey Shortie. The purpose of this forum is to give adults an opportunity to speak frankly about things they may not be comfortable discussing with their friends and family. Well guess what - when you engage in frank discussion, you get the honest truth. And the honest truth can sometimes be brutally so.

 

If you want a shoulder to cry on, if you want to be reassured with comfortable falsehoods, you if want somebody to tell you that women are like fine wine and get better with age, then perhaps this forum is not the place for you. But you can always turn to your family and social circle for that kind of 'moral support'. The value of this forum lies in the fact that it awards the opportunity to gain insight by getting a better understanding of how members of the opposite sex think. That's why it's so important that people express their opinions openly, without sugarcoating or holding back out of fear of hurting somebody's feelings.

[TaylorJayne]

No one needs your 'kindness', Jersey Shortie. The purpose of this forum is to give adults an opportunity to speak frankly about things they may not be comfortable discussing with their friends and family. Well guess what - when you engage in frank discussion, you get the honest truth. And the honest truth can sometimes be brutally so.

 

If you want a shoulder to cry on, if you want to be reassured with comfortable falsehoods, you if want somebody to tell you that women are like fine wine and get better with age, then perhaps this forum is not the place for you. But you can always turn to your family and social circle for that kind of 'moral support'. The value of this forum lies in the fact that it awards the opportunity to gain insight by getting a better understanding of how members of the opposite sex think. That's why it's so important that people express their opinions openly, without sugarcoating or holding back out of fear of hurting somebody's feelings.

 

Johnny M- I have one word for you "shallow". Your talk is completely foolish- I know many many beautiful sexy women who are my age and many women who are 20 years younger than myself who look like they have lived their life in full. Im not ashamed to say that I have been in a room on many occasion with women who are 20+ years younger than myself and they did not get the attention I did. And as for the "cougar" pursuing the younger man, a lot you know- these younger men pursue us, and I must say they are persistent.

 

I love who I am more than ever in my 40's- I look better I am more confident than ever and have never had an ounce of botox or anything remotely close. You were rude to Jersey Shortie and you would do better to go for younger women since you still act like a boy.

 

To all of you beautiful women out there in your 40's and over- Here's look'n at ya

[angelaM]

There are a lot of interesting thoughts in this thread and I appreciate reading what everyone has to say. I guess the disconnect for me is still that what I've seen in the few profiles I've read (and bear in mind that my initial question was about how typical this is because I'm a total rookie) doesn't jibe with my experiences in real life. And it makes me wonder why.

 

Am I meeting men IRL who really don't care about age, or is it possible that those who sort by rigid age requirements are subscribing to some assumption or stereotype? If they're 42 and don't want kids but still won't date anyone over 38, are they just assuming every 38-year-old woman will be hotter/fitter/whatever than someone their own age? Because I don't think a few years one way or the other means a whole hell of a lot, by itself. Some people look pretty ragged in their 20s. So it just seems kind of crazy to slam that door right out of the box, when the whole point of a dating profile is to attract someone you might click with.

[The Paper Knight]

In short, fewer women are as sexual as men so those women dream about an affectionate old age instead.

 

these women would disagree

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t220542/

[calazhage]

Johnny M- I have one word for you "shallow". Your talk is completely foolish- I know many many beautiful sexy women who are my age and many women who are 20 years younger than myself who look like they have lived their life in full. Im not ashamed to say that I have been in a room on many occasion with women who are 20+ years younger than myself and they did not get the attention I did. And as for the "cougar" pursuing the younger man, a lot you know- these younger men pursue us, and I must say they are persistent.

 

I love who I am more than ever in my 40's- I look better I am more confident than ever and have never had an ounce of botox or anything remotely close. You were rude to Jersey Shortie and you would do better to go for younger women since you still act like a boy.

 

To all of you beautiful women out there in your 40's and over- Here's look'n at ya

 

Why are women always on these threads telling men what they should want?

 

The vast majority of men want younger women because:

 

1. There is no shortage of younger women who prefer older men

 

2. IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT LOOKS Younger women typically have a less bitter outlook, and have more energy. I am not referring to sex, I am referring to sleep required, zest for life etc.

 

3. Younger women can have kids

 

4. As for looks, I have never confused a 45 yr old woman for a 25 yr old woman in my life, and never will.

 

5. Older women are fast approaching menopause when they undergo many physical and mental changes. Downhill from there.

 

6. Women today are extremely picky about height, income, and dozens of other qualities. And men should just looks past age?

[flc]

I was 50 when I was online and my profile was looking for women between 40-55. I am very physically active and I find a lot of people in my age group, men and women, are not. Younger people tend to be more active and I wanted someone that matched my level. I actually ended up with someone who was 48. I find women can be beautiful at any age and intellectually I prefer older women as we share more the same life experiences and can relate better together. What 30yo women is going to understand what I go through with a 16yo daughter or want to.

[TaylorJayne]

Why are women always on these threads telling men what they should want?

 

The vast majority of men want younger women because:

 

1. There is no shortage of younger women who prefer older men

 

2. IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT LOOKS Younger women typically have a less bitter outlook, and have more energy. I am not referring to sex, I am referring to sleep required, zest for life etc.

 

3. Younger women can have kids

 

4. As for looks, I have never confused a 45 yr old woman for a 25 yr old woman in my life, and never will.

 

5. Older women are fast approaching menopause when they undergo many physical and mental changes. Downhill from there.

 

6. Women today are extremely picky about height, income, and dozens of other qualities. And men should just looks past age?

 

calazhage-

 

Its not about looks? Then why did you say "I have never confused a 45 yr etc" It is about looks and its not about having kids and a less bitter outlook.....honestly this conversation is almost getting rediculous.

 

The zest for life part well that I might have to agree with you on. When I choose a younger man, it is because of their zest for life and their spontaneity, but as far as the bitterness part goes- People are bitter at every age. There is a woman on this site who is in her 20's who started a bitter thread, should we say that because she is in her 20's she is more bitter? No, nor should a woman who is 20 years her senior be judged as a bitter person because of her age.

 

The point of this is exactly what angelaM said "when the whole point of a dating profile is to attract someone you might click with" and not to catagorize someone because of age.

 

Now you and any man can choose to be attracted to whomever you desire, but when you guys get on here and put down women because of their age without having a clue, that is "shallow"

 

You are the ones stereotyping by saying;

 

1) Woman in their 40's cant have kids

2) They are not as attractive

3) They are more bitter

4) They choose men on height, and finances

 

When I get involved with a man, I like him to be non-judgemental, intelligent (<------- the 2 go hand in hand in my opinion), spontanious, kind, funny, and yes I would like him to be good-looking (but for me thats not necessarily tall). Oh and please have good heigene and no over-alls aloud

[lino]

I've always been involved with women around my age.

 

I'm nearly 28 now and I'd go out with women up to 3 years older than me and no more than 5 years younger than me.

 

 

I've never tried online dating but in the real world I've nearly always seen women go for guys older than them, so I don't know why you're surprised that the men on the dating site are targeting younger women.

 

 

If it's guys in their 40s going after girls young enough to be their daughters then that's another thing!

[Lizzie60]

Johnny M- I have one word for you "shallow". Your talk is completely foolish- I know many many beautiful sexy women who are my age and many women who are 20 years younger than myself who look like they have lived their life in full. Im not ashamed to say that I have been in a room on many occasion with women who are 20+ years younger than myself and they did not get the attention I did. And as for the "cougar" pursuing the younger man, a lot you know- these younger men pursue us, and I must say they are persistent.

 

I love who I am more than ever in my 40's- I look better I am more confident than ever and have never had an ounce of botox or anything remotely close. You were rude to Jersey Shortie and you would do better to go for younger women since you still act like a boy.

 

To all of you beautiful women out there in your 40's and over- Here's look'n at ya

 

I agree... my peak (look-wise) was from 45-54.... I looked much better than many 20 yr olds.. I could compete .. no problem.. I only had much younger men.. all the time.. and never had to raise one little finger.. they were after me..

 

I much prefer what I look like now ..

 

Some men do prefer bimbos.. and like to put down older women.. because:

1) they would be ashamed in bed with a woman who really know what sex is all about...

2) financially...they don't even come close to an older woman's ..(again... would be embarassing)...

3) intellectually... it's way easier to discuss with bimbos.. that make them look smarter.. an older woman would notice immediately how dumb he is..

[stillafool]

[

QUOTE=sally4sara;2661211]When I was younger, I found nothing desirable about older men. Their paunch, their disappearing hair and lack of coloring, their acne scars of youth not fading but hollowing out deeper for the crows feet and mouth lines, hair growing out of their ears.....and the smell of desperation when they would try to catch my interest or when I would see one of my girlfriends toy with them for attention and drama.

 

I felt the exact same way. I use to think " I already have a daddy" and truly thought they were perverts or (sugardaddys). I'll admit youth is pretty and you cannot say a 40 year old man is better looking than a fresh 25 year old guy with a hard body, smooth skin, shiny hair, virile and hasn't been jaded by a bunch of previous bad relationships.

 

 

Nah, I'll pass on that game. Why would I care if a person like that doesn't want to bother with me? Besides, my husband is 6 years younger than I am and most folks think he is the older of us. Likely due to the level of acceptability to the man being older being assumed, but hey - at least we can share in that rocking chair dream.

 

 

My husband is younger than me also and people can't tell the difference in our ages. I have always liked younger men. There are some goodlooking older guys though, I must admit.

[BentSpine]

these women would disagree

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t220542/

A whole four word post by Mr. Six-days-on-LoveShack.

 

Please, don't leave LS, how did we ever make it without your profound personal experience or your reading proficiency?

[stillafool]

I agree... my peak (look-wise) was from 45-54.... I looked much better than many 20 yr olds.. I could compete .. no problem.. I only had much younger men.. all the time.. and never had to raise one little finger.. they were after me..

 

 

Yeah me too Lizzie, I never had to lift a finger.