capulsky Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 please read the whole thing...sorry its kind of long I will give you the story if you dont already know. My ex and I broke about about 9 months ago after 3 years. We are young I am 21 she is 20. the three years we were together were great. The last year or so, though I lost touch some, i was preoccupied with trying to deal with the lost of my best friend and it took a tole on me, she was there whenever she could be for me. anyway, we went no contact for the first two months. after that we talked a little bit here and there for awhile. The last few months we have talked just about everyday, she has sent me christmas gifts and birthday gifts. We even went out on saturday for valentines day. But in the mean time over the few months we didn't talk to started hanging out with a friend of hers from highschool. They have been spending a lot of time together and she says she treats her right, but she doesn't have any feelings for him, she wants to be with me, she cannot picture herself with anyone but me. Recently she sent me an email, telling me what love is, it was her perspective, at the end she said love is you and me. So, I want to believe what she says, and I do. but the problem is that we live about 2 hours away, and where she lives is were her new guy friend is too. I have been playing it cool, but she has been acting shady so I began to question her, as to whether or not she truly wants to be with me. On this last sunday (the day after i took her out to eat and spent time with her for valentines day, btw I did end up staying with her that night nothing happend, i wasn't looking for it) anyway sunday I was invited over by her parents for dinner, she got upset about this because she said she had plans to go to a movie with a girlfriend. A girlfriend on valentines day? and to top it off the guy she had been spending time with called her that morning. hmm. I know she went out with him, she was gone from 3 untill 11 that night, I living 2 hours away got stranded in her town because of the snow, I did not have any where else to stay so I ended up staying with her on sunday. She came home reaking of the other guys car, I simply asked her how the movie was and that she smells like smoke. Anyway, Now I feel like I am being forced to act like a fool and question her every move, I hate being this way it makes me feel terrible. I know that I love this girl, but I also know that she doesn't think we can have anything until she moves down here this fall. After this weekend I know a chance for us to work is slim to non. I am confident in the way I feel aobut her and the way she feels about me. although I do know and its obvious that she doens't want to act on those feelings yet, for whatever reason. So I know nc would be the best thing right now. I am afraid that after this weekend our relationship is completely over, prematuraley as I feel I sent it into this downward spiral, as equally as she did. Is there any hope for this situation? I am going to move on but it will always be in the back of my mind, knowing the conversations that her and I have had over the past couple of months. Its real until this sunday. any thoughts, I know most of you will say forget it, and move on dont talk to her, and she is evil. But I am telling you that she is a genuine person, and this kind of stuff is definately not her, her actions. anyway.....let me know any thoughts........
Jeff1962 Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 My only thoughts are that you don't send someone a text saying the definition of love is you and me when you are dating other people. You don't date someone that you don't have feelings for and then kind of blow off the person you do have feelings for to be with them. You don't lie and say that you are going to a movie with a gf when you are seeing this other guy instead. I would make it very clear to her that you are dating as well. I would not sit around and wait. I'd make myself more and more unavialable when she calls. She will either figure out what she has lost and come running or you will drift apart. Good luck
Author capulsky Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 Thanks Jeff for replying to my post. So I have been ignoring calls and texts from her lately. untill today she called me a couple of times and I answered. we made small talk and she said that she would just quit bothering me...and now she seems to be just fine with me not talking to her...I feel like its already over between us....I feel like a fool falling into her trap...and Im not sure what to do anymore about this...I dont want to just completely shut her off because we have been talking so much lately...its a dumb situation to be in I feel...but I dont know what to do to feel better about it...
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