paddington bear Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Had a nice 2nd date, he seemed very keen. I was perhaps less enthusiastic than him, due to holding back a bit - takes time for me to build up any kind of trust. But nonetheless the guy knew that I liked him and he seemed very keen. Later that night I sent him an email thanking him again for a nice day and... I've heard nothing back. Now...it is only 1 day and a half since we had our date...but I'm having a bad feeling. Honestly it has been sooo long since I've been on a date, I don't honestly know what to do, what is normal, what is not, what I should do and so on. I probably shouldn't have sent that email, but then, I thought it was only polite to do so, rather than it being a desperate attempt to make him get in touch. I've kind of surprised myself by spending yesterday and today checking my phone and email...and I HATE it! I'd forgotten what this feels like. Guess I was expecting some kind of reply saying something along the lines of 'I had a nice time too, when do you want to meet up next?' So, am I totally over-reacting? It is only a day and half. Should I have not sent the email? (We left with the understanding that he had my number now and could call). I'm in my late 30's, but I've had such bad luck and unrequited situations that I've never actually got as far as date number 2, therefore I am as lost as a teenager just embarking on their dating career.
Itzonator Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Had a nice 2nd date, he seemed very keen. I was perhaps less enthusiastic than him, due to holding back a bit - takes time for me to build up any kind of trust. But nonetheless the guy knew that I liked him and he seemed very keen. Later that night I sent him an email thanking him again for a nice day and... I've heard nothing back. Now...it is only 1 day and a half since we had our date...but I'm having a bad feeling. Honestly it has been sooo long since I've been on a date, I don't honestly know what to do, what is normal, what is not, what I should do and so on. I probably shouldn't have sent that email, but then, I thought it was only polite to do so, rather than it being a desperate attempt to make him get in touch. I've kind of surprised myself by spending yesterday and today checking my phone and email...and I HATE it! I'd forgotten what this feels like. Guess I was expecting some kind of reply saying something along the lines of 'I had a nice time too, when do you want to meet up next?' So, am I totally over-reacting? It is only a day and half. Should I have not sent the email? (We left with the understanding that he had my number now and could call). I'm in my late 30's, but I've had such bad luck and unrequited situations that I've never actually got as far as date number 2, therefore I am as lost as a teenager just embarking on their dating career. First off, congratulation for the second date! You know, you already sent the e-mail ... forget it. But for future reference, I would say, it is always nice to send an e-mail as a thank you note. Personally, I do not think it is a mistake! Showing certain appreciation is a SKILL that not many people possess. After you say "thank you" about anything, makes people feel good. Don't count the minutes and the hours ... you getting yourself a headache, sure if you continue to do so, you will end up frustrated. So this is what you do. Wait 1-2 more days ... then call him and say, "Hey, I really had a great night 2-3 days ago, I really like ... (say something specific here, what exactly you liked in him, be as detailed as possible)" ... then say "we should see each other again, since I am quite busy, but I can take some time off for you." This might be a good approach. What do you think?
meerkat stew Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 As Itzonator says, just think of it as a thank you note, not anticipating a reply. You will know within the week whether he wants another date by him asking you or not. Just keep creating options online so that no single option gets under your skin.
sullysteve Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I don't know, I like getting the "thank you" e-mail/message the next day. It shows interest. Wait 3 or 4 days and if you still haven't heard from him, call him and ask him out. He'll be flattered at the very least and his answer will definitely let you know where things stand. Good luck!
Awesome Username Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I agree - wait a few days before you contact him again. Also, I think the email was a good idea.
Author paddington bear Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 thanks for the replies...don't think I'll be contacting him again in 3-4 days though, if I've got no response to the email by that stage I think it makes things pretty clear really, i.e. that after initial enthusiasm that he's not that bothered. My last flatmate used to say she was the kiss of death with men, that it would start off good and then bam! Would suddenly end. Hope I haven't caught the disease from her.
boogieboy Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 You shouldnt have sent an email, you should have sent a text message or called. At least its his cell and you would know he gets it right away. he might have given you an email that he doesnt check often (if you havent been in constant contact in email). If you have, then writehim off, he didnt have as good a time as you did.
Greenpeacer Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 the email was okay. Its a very nice touch shows you are interested esp, since you said you were unresponsive at the 1st date or 2d. Call in a day or 2 and ask him if he would like to go xyz. whatever Both of you like to do and see the answer. That way you know 100% and you can make a decision. try and date others so you dont have to "wait by the phone." Good luck.
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