abdellost Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 So after almost 5 great years of a crazy and very strong love, she broke it off with me after a small argument that seemed to be the last straw.( it had to do with the different ways we see life and we're raised). she closed me off fast, changed her number and thats all, after every day she would ring me before she goes to sleep, wake up, go out, or just plain misses me. Text message me all day cause she never wants to feel that i left her alone. Long story short, i went to see her, for it to turn out to be a very bad move and completely hurtful. No there is no one else. she just doesn't feel like herself for the last 2 years. she said i kept her doing things she wanted (vice versa and i am the guy here), and such and such. WE always thought that if anyone would break up the relationship, it would be me. I never thought of breaking it off with her though, but that's how the relationship seemed: good looking charming guy, a lot of things going for him, girls always all over him etc etc. (her points of view of me of course). Anyways. its been 3 weeks. No contact from her at all. The days she would cry that i don't ring her because i forgot about her, just washed away without her even bothering to see how i am after 3 weeks. To the question: This girl, who everyone thinks is gorgous, always had a thing for me. But because i was with my girl for so long and such, she couldn't do anything to harm the relationship. We used to talk and be best buds but when i noticed my gf was dying due to it, i cut off contact completely. This girl has dated a lot of guys and such, nothing over 3 months. She always thought of me though, thinking we would be great together. Shes my sisters best friend as well. 2 days after the break up, she goes and tells people "dont you think me and him would be such a great couple" though shes dating this weird dude atm and don't think it will last. question is: should i date her? Part of me thinks it will help me heal a little, and i know i would have feelings for her (part of the reason i stopped talking to her was because i started to get this weird feeling towards her so i stopped contact completely). Another part would make me feel like im doing this to be revengeful. though i don't want to at all or that i might be rebounding. 90% of me doesn't want my ex to know i would date her, the other 10 would want me too. If there was any chances of my ex to realize her mistake, i don't want to lose it because of me dating a girl she hated so much because how "hot" she is. But at the same time, i don't want to sit here, with hope, and wait and wait and lose a chance with a girl that i think would be good for me (always thought we would been a good couple when we used to hang out a lot).
The Paper Knight Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 You are now single and have a clean conscience as you did nothing wrong and your gf dumped you! The other girl sounds keen and life is just tooo short! Most of my regrets stem from things I didn't pursue. I'll rubber stamp this one for you bro. Go for it!
teanoranges Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I'm a little surprised that after 3 weeks you're completely ready to move on (especially after a 5 year relationship) but like the previous poster said... you ARE single, so you can do whatever you like.. But I beg to ask whether or not this had to do with the breakup in general... you sound almost like you were pulling away from your ex and waiting for her to end the relationship so you had a chance at something else? and if that's the case, I also give a 'yes' to going after that other girl. I'm making no assumptions, was just really curious. My ex was making the moves on another girl a month after we broke up, a girl he met 3 months before we broke up..... something tells me that was the case for HIM... that's the only reason I've related the situations.
DustySaltus Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 If you're doing it to piss your ex off, you are going out with this girl for the wrong reasons. I promise you it will bite you in the *** down the line. You don't go out with someone to show off to your ex. All it's showing is that she still has power over you. It's actually a sign of weakness. If you really like this new girl be completely honest with her and tell her you would like to take things slow. If she still is into you, trust me she'll understand and be patient. Your ex lost all rights to know anything about your life going forward. That was her decision and she has to live with it. In the meanwhile, go live your life. Good luck. DS
Author abdellost Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 I was so loyal to her, no one can understand that except the people around me. Its not about moving on. its i feel like she cheated on me. Because as much as i say i can swear on my life she wouldnt do that, everyone (on this forum) is telling me its most likely she is. I explained my story countless times to people (online that is) and everyone ended up with one thing: she was eyeing another guy. Thing is we never really talked to the oppisite sex. She never felt ok with me doing so, so i had to stop, and she did the same to keep the relationship fair. I was allowed to talk to my sisters best friends because i am really close to my sister. My ex ended up not liking them, (by that time i stopped talking to that girl because she reminded me of my ex and the type of girls i love, by my own free will and without even thinking i could have feelings for any one other then my ex). We broke off really bad, i mean she didnt give me a chance to talk. Changed her number. she just really ended it really bad. I mean 5 years of holding each other every day, crying cause we cant see each other and we miss each other. I went to America for a few months and she would call me every day, begging for me to come back. This thread opened up my eyes: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t220640/ This guy had almost the same type of story, how his girl suddenly fell out of the relationship all at once. I dunno, im confused and hurt. I dont want to lose any chances with her. willing to give her time. Confused people, confused. And no one deserves this.
Author abdellost Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 I'm a little surprised that after 3 weeks you're completely ready to move on (especially after a 5 year relationship) but like the previous poster said... you ARE single, so you can do whatever you like.. But I beg to ask whether or not this had to do with the breakup in general... you sound almost like you were pulling away from your ex and waiting for her to end the relationship so you had a chance at something else? and if that's the case, I also give a 'yes' to going after that other girl. I'm making no assumptions, was just really curious. My ex was making the moves on another girl a month after we broke up, a girl he met 3 months before we broke up..... something tells me that was the case for HIM... that's the only reason I've related the situations. Read my recent post, it was intended for you. I just finally found out how to quote someone haha. sorry.
GrayClouds Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I dunno, im confused and hurt. I dont want to lose any chances with her. willing to give her time. Confused people, confused. And no one deserves this. If you are confused and hurt do not even think about anyone else. It is not fair for the other person and and at best it will be a temporary reprieve from you hurt. Read the following, do all that it suggest, it will help: So you want a second chance?
teanoranges Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I was so loyal to her, no one can understand that except the people around me. Its not about moving on. its i feel like she cheated on me. Because as much as i say i can swear on my life she wouldnt do that, everyone (on this forum) is telling me its most likely she is. I explained my story countless times to people (online that is) and everyone ended up with one thing: she was eyeing another guy. Thing is we never really talked to the oppisite sex. She never felt ok with me doing so, so i had to stop, and she did the same to keep the relationship fair. I was allowed to talk to my sisters best friends because i am really close to my sister. My ex ended up not liking them, (by that time i stopped talking to that girl because she reminded me of my ex and the type of girls i love, by my own free will and without even thinking i could have feelings for any one other then my ex). We broke off really bad, i mean she didnt give me a chance to talk. Changed her number. she just really ended it really bad. I mean 5 years of holding each other every day, crying cause we cant see each other and we miss each other. I went to America for a few months and she would call me every day, begging for me to come back. This thread opened up my eyes: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t220640/ This guy had almost the same type of story, how his girl suddenly fell out of the relationship all at once. I dunno, im confused and hurt. I dont want to lose any chances with her. willing to give her time. Confused people, confused. And no one deserves this. ah, yea, I didn't mean it in any mean way or anything. I don't know your story... but I'd say live your life. You should probably talk to this other girl, become friends, take things slow though because if you're confused about whether its a rebound or revenge or something real... it'll become clearer with time, and then once you know you can take further action.
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