Elilmomma Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I have been with my husband almost 13 years and married for almost 5 years and we have two beautiful daughters. My husband has always been very hot headed but I feel like he's broken me to the point where I just don't want to get out of bed at all. He curses at me and bacially calls me a whore in front of our daughters and he doesn't care he says they need to know the truth. He is the sole bread winner in our home. He has custody of his teenage neice and and brother and his sister is now living with us they are all disrespectful to me and he does nothing about it. His sister physically assaulted me and I demanded she leave and my husband her brother said he would not kick his sister out and I don't have the right to kick her out because he pays the bills. Then he has the nerve to tell me I should leave cause his sister is not leaving end of story. I shouldn't have to live somewhere I feel completely uncomfortable in my own home and to top it off rent from my cousin. He has put me down so much through the years that I just feel like I'm broken and don't believe I can make it on my own anymore I lost my fight and don't know how to get it back somewhere along the way I lost myself. I don't want my girls to be traumatized but I'm just stuck I have no income and no car so how can I leave him??
KikiW Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 There are women's shelters in most areas. Open your phone book, usually the first couple of pages has some hotline numbers. Many of these shelters will help you contact other family members, or help you prepare for getting employment or whatever aid you can get through the state. They will also allow you to bring children. But you need to call them and talk to them. It's not easy, but you can do it.
EnigmasMuse Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 He has broken your spirit so this will be much harder. However you can do this if you really want too. Look into getting out ASAP. Hold your head high, think more of yourself and kids to not want to remain int his situation. Your daughters are learning that this is normal in a relationship by you staying. They see their dad being abusive and you staying. That should tell you something.
JackJack Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Surely you are not planning on keeping yourself and kids in that situation? Is there a family member or friend that can help you out for a bit? A shelter maybe?
Meaplus3 Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I have been with my husband almost 13 years and married for almost 5 years and we have two beautiful daughters. My husband has always been very hot headed but I feel like he's broken me to the point where I just don't want to get out of bed at all. He curses at me and bacially calls me a whore in front of our daughters and he doesn't care he says they need to know the truth. He is the sole bread winner in our home. He has custody of his teenage neice and and brother and his sister is now living with us they are all disrespectful to me and he does nothing about it. His sister physically assaulted me and I demanded she leave and my husband her brother said he would not kick his sister out and I don't have the right to kick her out because he pays the bills. Then he has the nerve to tell me I should leave cause his sister is not leaving end of story. I shouldn't have to live somewhere I feel completely uncomfortable in my own home and to top it off rent from my cousin. He has put me down so much through the years that I just feel like I'm broken and don't believe I can make it on my own anymore I lost my fight and don't know how to get it back somewhere along the way I lost myself. I don't want my girls to be traumatized but I'm just stuck I have no income and no car so how can I leave him?? He needs help. Verbal abuse is an illness.. he's sick not YOU. What about anger management? Would he try that?? It can be very helpful. I feel for you.. I was you at one point. You need to put a stop to this and fast. NO one deserves to be abused in anyway!! Mea:)
Author Elilmomma Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 My husband would never get counseling he refuses to admit he has any problems at all. He never take's responsibility for his own actions
TaraMaiden Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Ring a women's shelter, take their counsel, and follow it. You cannot subject you or your girls to this kind of treatment for one more day. It sounds as if his whole family is seriously whacko. Truly. Him alone, you might be able to convince, (very doubtful) but all of them? Get out, now. Take nothing with you except your birth certificate, passport, and the girls' birth certificates. This is important paperwork. Take no mobile phones....nothing traceable..... Then take them, in the clothes they have (for now) and GET OUT OF THERE AS QUICKLY AS YOUR LEGS CAN CARRY YOU. Please please please... find what vestige of personal strength you have, even if it means knowing that come what may, you must Save your Daughters from this man, this environment and this treatment. This is NOT OK!!!
pureinheart Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 I have been with my husband almost 13 years and married for almost 5 years and we have two beautiful daughters. My husband has always been very hot headed but I feel like he's broken me to the point where I just don't want to get out of bed at all. He curses at me and bacially calls me a whore in front of our daughters and he doesn't care he says they need to know the truth. He is the sole bread winner in our home. He has custody of his teenage neice and and brother and his sister is now living with us they are all disrespectful to me and he does nothing about it. His sister physically assaulted me and I demanded she leave and my husband her brother said he would not kick his sister out and I don't have the right to kick her out because he pays the bills. Then he has the nerve to tell me I should leave cause his sister is not leaving end of story. I shouldn't have to live somewhere I feel completely uncomfortable in my own home and to top it off rent from my cousin. He has put me down so much through the years that I just feel like I'm broken and don't believe I can make it on my own anymore I lost my fight and don't know how to get it back somewhere along the way I lost myself. I don't want my girls to be traumatized but I'm just stuck I have no income and no car so how can I leave him?? Ring a women's shelter, take their counsel, and follow it. You cannot subject you or your girls to this kind of treatment for one more day. It sounds as if his whole family is seriously whacko. Truly. Him alone, you might be able to convince, (very doubtful) but all of them? Get out, now. Take nothing with you except your birth certificate, passport, and the girls' birth certificates. This is important paperwork. Take no mobile phones....nothing traceable..... Then take them, in the clothes they have (for now) and GET OUT OF THERE AS QUICKLY AS YOUR LEGS CAN CARRY YOU. Please please please... find what vestige of personal strength you have, even if it means knowing that come what may, you must Save your Daughters from this man, this environment and this treatment. This is NOT OK!!! Read your post over again, then read Tara's and run....this is no joke these people are nuts.... Your post caught my eye as I don't normally roam the board....ok, you might qualify for SSI...the womens shelters can hook you up. Have you seen a doctor or doctors recently....if so you might qualify for SSDI which will help support your daughters too, it leaves room for them. Take your power back and call the womens shelter...yes it will be change, but change is what you HAVE to have. Everything will work out IF you make that first step, but YOU have to make it. My thoughts and prayers are with you....if you can let us know what is happening...k...((((((hugggssss)))))
JackJack Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 My husband would never get counseling he refuses to admit he has any problems at all. He never take's responsibility for his own actions It doesn't matter whether or not he will go to counseling. You need to be more concerned with saving yourself and kids from this situation. Worry more about what your plan is on what you need to do. Have you thought anymore about what that might be?
Jeff1962 Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Your daughters are learning that this is how men treat women. I'd hit up a realitive to help you and your daughters move out. Your daughters need to know that this is unacceptable behavior and the only way they will see this is if you leave this scum bag and never look back. Men like your H need a good pop to the chops.
Author Elilmomma Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 I have a plan to get out I'm working on that now. I have contacted a dv womens counselor and I'm going to get help. I'm trying to stay strong and focused on what's best for myself as well as my daughters. Thank you! It doesn't matter whether or not he will go to counseling. You need to be more concerned with saving yourself and kids from this situation. Worry more about what your plan is on what you need to do. Have you thought anymore about what that might be?
JackJack Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 I have a plan to get out I'm working on that now. I have contacted a dv womens counselor and I'm going to get help. I'm trying to stay strong and focused on what's best for myself as well as my daughters. Thank you! Sounds good! Hang in there!
Author Elilmomma Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 Read your post over again, then read Tara's and run....this is no joke these people are nuts.... Your post caught my eye as I don't normally roam the board....ok, you might qualify for SSI...the womens shelters can hook you up. Have you seen a doctor or doctors recently....if so you might qualify for SSDI which will help support your daughters too, it leaves room for them. Take your power back and call the womens shelter...yes it will be change, but change is what you HAVE to have. Everything will work out IF you make that first step, but YOU have to make it. My thoughts and prayers are with you....if you can let us know what is happening...k...((((((hugggssss))))) Here's a little update I'm getting all my ducks in a row now. I want to thank you and everyone else for their advice they are much appreciated. I contactd a shelter but their wasn't any rooms available so I have to wait and call back.. Thank you and God Bless!
Recommended Posts