nothappyjan Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Hey I am dating a 33 year old guy, I am a 24 yr old girl, so far things are going good and we are seeing each other about twice a week cause he works nights (he's a chef) he always initiates dates and contacts me first most of the time. I don't think we are quite ready for the exclusivity talk no sex yet just making out and stuff...also we met on an online dating site and i know he is still on it. but my question to you all is should the guy be the one to bring up the exclusivity or do guys wait for the girls.....how did it happen in your r/ship and did it work better when brought up by the guy or girl?
meerkat stew Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 If I have done all the asking out and contacting, I wait for her to talk exclusivity. She doesn't have to come out and say "let's date exclusively," but she will usually bring it up as "are you seeing other people?" or "where is this going?" I will reply, "where would you like it to go?" and if she says "I want to date only you," then if I'm so inclined, will say, "I want that too." and that's that. Now, my mistake at this point is that this is the time to set boundaries about what is and isn't acceptable behavior in a relationship re: keeping in contact with exes, staying out alone til 2AM, etc. So the exclusivity talk itself is not the only thing to keep in mind.
Scarlett513 Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I had a long, happy, and successful relationship with a guy where I was the one who initiated exclusivity. It turned out well in the end BUT the the first 3 months were HELL. In my current relationship, my boyfriend initiated exclusivity after about a month of dating and so far things have been very good. He seems very committed and loyal. I think I would recommend letting him be the one to bring it up, if only because then YOU know that it's what he really wants and not something he felt cornered into. If he's taking too long to initiate exclusivity (how long have you been dating?), then I'd say it's possible he's not interested in things on more than a casual level.
Author nothappyjan Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 we've only been dating a month, normally i dont really think about exclusivity and just kinda assume it but this is the first time i've started actually seeing someone from online and i think knowing all the options that are still on there is what's making me a bit more nervous about it this time.
Woggle Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 The woman. She has to want it first or else she will end up dumping him.
Recommended Posts