Why does it seem like only men want both marriage and flings on the side?

[threebyfate]

We all know women cheat simply because their man doesn't communicate well......

If you reduce that to "some" women cheat...blah, blah, blah, I won't take you to task for it. And yes, I don't disagree that the above justification has been used often enough by women who cheat.

 

Anyways, once again, both genders cheat, not just men. We know this for fact.

[michelangelo]

Thanks for the insight.

 

Dexter- I have definitely observed women in relationships/marriages that go out and like attention and having their egos fed. However if any of these women actually cheat, she is immediately branded a whore. Whereas I observe men doing the same thing and it seems like no big deal. From my own observations, at least in my line of work which is professional, I see men who repeatedly cheat on their wives and seem to take no flak, whereas once a woman has an affair or participates in one, she is branded professionally and socially.

 

So I maintain that women are just better at keeping their longterm cheating under wraps than men who do that are able to do.

 

My wife cheated successfully for 8 years and kept it secret even years longer once she was "done."

 

Anyone, man or woman, that wants to cheat and keep it secret from their spouse is clever enough to do it. This "skill" is not gender specific.

 

IMHO, Your perceptions are not based on the full range of experiences out there.

[2.50 a gallon]

In my player days from about age 22 thru 32 I lived in Singles Only apartments and I had very little contact with married women. Changes in the laws made Singles Only illegal, and when I moved it was to an apartment complex that was about 50 / 50 family, single.

 

About 30 days after I moved in and I began to make friends with my new neighbors, the married woman next door hit on me. Her line went something like, "I see a lot of different woman going in and out of your apartment, and some times we can hear you, you must have a big package", whereby she grabbed my crotch. Shocking as she was very religious did not drink or smoke and taught Sunday School

 

Before the summer was over I was similarly approached by close to half a dozen other MW with basically the same line.

 

A few years later, I married moved out of state, broke up with my XW, and began a new social life in a new city. The place where I worked had many single and married woman. They were a friendly group and every other weekend they had a girls night out at a club, the husbands were invited, but hardly ever attended, and if they did, they hardly ever danced with their wives. So my dance card was full. On occasions I tended to get aroused while dancing. The MW especially noticed, and while dancing with me, went out of their way to try and excite me. It wasn't long before the married women, not the single women began to hit on me.

 

Saying a woman has to be emotionally involved to have sex is a bunch of hooey, there was no emotion these were straight propositions for a no strings attached romp in the hay

[GG2W]

I have the perfect job, am a male stripper.

 

I love married woman. And get one nightly, no emotions, just raw sex.

[Tropic]

That means you are not only a stripper

[Blindsidedagainalive]

Woman cheat about as frequently as men.

 

Statistically men cheat SLIGHTLY more than woman today.

HOWEVER,,,,,,because woman are MUCH more likely to NOT ADMIT an affair when surveyed (many reasons)......they may be cheating MORE!!!

 

I have seen some responses here indicating that woman cheat for different reasons. BULL****!!!!....that they are already done with the MARRIAGE---BULL****!!!

 

Because it's not socially acceptable for woman to have affairs, they use the EMOTIONAL bull**** excuse.

 

GUESS WHAT! THE CHEATING WOMAN ARE HAVING SEX WITH CHEATING MEN.......so, his side is sex, and hers is EMOTIONAL-BULL****!!!!!

 

Most of the cheating lady affairs that I know of involve SHALLOW emotions, and quick sex in parks, hotels, etc. THAT IS NOT VERY EMOTIONAL!!!!!

 

THE AFFAIR PARTNERS MIRROR AND VALIDATE, both MEN and WOMAN.

[Holding-On]

I think it is possible that less men hang around hoping/expecting that their married partner will actually leave her spouse than there are women hanging around for MM.

 

For myself, as a woman, I do want both. That is why I have an open marriage.

[Spark1111]

Okay, what I have read.....

 

Woman today file 70% of all divorces. The number one reason?....NEGLECT!

 

Not infidelity, drugs, unemployment, abuse....but NEGLECT!

 

Sometimes the infidelity may be the straw that breaks the camel's back...or drugs...or whatever, but for a woman in a long term relationship, if she has exhausted every avenue available to her to get the emotional connection she is seeking to no avail, she will file for divorce.

 

Ninety-five percent of women whose husbands stray, WILL attempt reconciliation providing he changes his behavior and becomes more attentive and loving towards her. If not, they too will divorce within 5 years.

 

Fifty-five percent of men will divorce after discovering a wife's infidelity, possibily because they cannot get over the visual images of their woman with another man, and know immediately (lucky them!) that they will never find it in their haeart to forgive her.

[OWoman]

A BH is seen as a 'cuckhold' (hate that word), a fool, an idiot for not keeping his W under control.

 

The female form is cuckqueen - but when last did you hear that term used for a BW?

[Blindsidedagainalive]

Not infidelity, drugs, unemployment, abuse....but NEGLECT!

 

How do you define Neglect first of all.

 

Woman generally have lower self esteem. Of course, this too will be blamed on Madison Avenue Marketing men. It's us MEN who make woman try to be skinny and doll themselves up ...RIGHT! WRONG!!!! VICTIM MENTALITY!

 

I have read some of your posted statistics before.

 

Many woman generally WANT to feel wanted and needed.

It is NOT a man's responsibility to fill this void. Many of the woman I know complain about loneliness and emptiness.....yet THEY DO NOTHING TO FILL IT. They want it from men. My men friends began occupying their spare time with hobbies and interests. Their wives resent it. They don't want him to have have enjoyment without her. Two of my friends wives dislike me, even thought I have been nothing but kind to them. They dislike me because their husbands talk fondly of me and they are jealous.

Wives NEED to fill the emptiness in their soul themselves. Instead it is often a SELFISH victim mentality....I AM SO LONELY.

 

Now, I am not referring to the lazy assed men, who shirk responsibility to get away from their wife. In that case, the wife has every right to be annoyed. She needs to communicate this in a clear way so the man understands. If his behavior does not change, then the wife needs to give an ultimatum (counseling or get lost).

 

Sometimes the infidelity may be the straw that breaks the camel's back...or drugs...or whatever, but for a woman in a long term relationship, if she has exhausted every avenue available to her to get the emotional connection she is seeking to no avail, she will file for divorce.

 

Oh please........Another PENIS will help that!! It's bull****. WHAT ABOUT CHARITY WORK FOR GOD's SAKE! Do you really think affairs are about emotional connection! Give me a break. It's nonsense flirting, attention, validation.....and sex in parking lots and quickies in hotels.

This can ONLY be satisfying to someone who is has incredibly low self-esteem.

SURE, THAT IS GREAT EMOTIONAL CONNECTION.

[Spark1111]

Blindsided.....I am not talking of affairs or why someone would have one. I truly, as a BS, cannot speak to that, because I personally do not believe I would ever have one.

 

I am talking as to divorce, and why women have stated they file for it.

 

Women will and have stayed married to some really awful men for what I can only assume are two reasons: they love him, and he makes them feel cherished. Period.

 

Now, he could be abusive, a criminal, an addict, a philanderer, a nutjob, an alcoholic, BUT, generally, if he makes her feel loved and cherished, she usually does not leave the dirt bag. We see it all the time in relationship land. "What is she doing with him!???" we have all asked at one time or another.

 

Or, he may be none of the above; he may be a good guy who never put down the remote, got off the couch, and took her dancing like she begged for. Who knows? I surely don't.

 

She grows tired of nagging....and files. It may have NOTHING TO DO with either of them having an affair, or wanting to. That is a whole sperate issue, IMO.

 

Women NEED to feel emotionally connected to their man and that their man is emotionally connected to them; yep, for romance, sex, and intimacy.

 

The walkaway-wife syndrome has more to do with our culture and the fact that many women no longer HAVE to stay married to have a roof over their heads.

 

The old role models and rules no longer apply, because I believe, women have gained greater equality and leave to find what they want. I'm not saying either/or or right or wrong.....just that it is.

 

And sociologists and phsychologists are studying what has become a modern day phenomenon.