BookerT Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I read in a book the other day: "Men give love to get sex. Women give sex to get love" How true do you feel this statement is? I feel on a general basis it's very true. Although people try to make it seem men and women are the same, I think that's just political correctness talking. I think motives for doing things are slightly different between the sexes.
oneheart Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I think it depends on the man's age and where he is in life. a young guy at his sexual peak may be thinking more about sex than love but as he gets older and his libido decreases, it becomes more about companionship and love and sex is not the goal.
Author BookerT Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 I think it depends on the man's age and where he is in life. a young guy at his sexual peak may be thinking more about sex than love but as he gets older and his libido decreases, it becomes more about companionship and love and sex is not the goal. I agree with what you say. But let's say the young guy wants to have sex with a girl. He knows he has to treat her charm her, show his value and also treat her well to get her in the sack. Whilst the girl even if she wants sex, probably is giving it out in the hope of hooking the guy.
hats Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I think part of the reason is that there's a double standard against women who have sex freely, and against men who are emotionally accommodating. So even though men and women need both love and sex, one isn't as available as the other.
refurb Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Replace the word "love" with "attention" and I might agree with you. When it comes down to actual "love" (truly putting someone else above yourself), then I would say men and women aren't that different. RF
Author BookerT Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 Replace the word "love" with "attention" and I might agree with you. When it comes down to actual "love" (truly putting someone else above yourself), then I would say men and women aren't that different. RF Good point, yeah I would agree with the word attention more. Thanks for the input.
mem11363 Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I have found that keeping a little more emotional space between us than my wife wants - and having an edge - causes HER to want to take me to bed to reduce the edge and create some closeness. This is something that makes sense to me and works really well. This does NOT mean I am rude, unhelpful, bad boyish etc. It does mean that I am not overly focused on her, and it does mean that when she crosses a line with me she gets a sharp tone that she does not like. So my wife wants me to be a little bit of a challenge - yes I give her love - but not quite as much as she wants until after the rapture If I were nice to her all the time - I have done that - it is a train wreck - SHE doesn't like it. She doesn't like to be emotionally crowded and SHE likes a certain amount of conflict. I am simply doing what is needed for a passionate relationship. We could be closer and more loving/kind with each other but only at the cost of desire/passion/sex. I read in a book the other day: "Men give love to get sex. Women give sex to get love" How true do you feel this statement is? I feel on a general basis it's very true. Although people try to make it seem men and women are the same, I think that's just political correctness talking. I think motives for doing things are slightly different between the sexes.
Austen Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 My experience has been more like this: Men need sex in order to feel that everything is okay; women need to feel that everything is okay in order to have sex.
Author BookerT Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 My experience has been more like this: Men need sex in order to feel that everything is okay; women need to feel that everything is okay in order to have sex. Wow that's a good one too!
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