ArelysLove Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 A friend who is afraid to be in a relationhip with me. How do i get my friend to be my lover, my boyfriend? We met in 2007, after he had been through with a bad relationship. He was hurted in his relationship real bad and after that he has not dated no girl offically. We met in the same year, my best friend introduced me to him. My best friend told me he was attracted to me and so on. From there, we started hanging out and talking more and getting to know more about each other, and he told me his probelms, love life etc just like i did. As time went by i felt for him more and more. This is when things started to get complicated becuase he didnt wanted a relationship. And so i thought, maybe since it juts been recently he had been hurted, i would let it slide. And so at one point, i got tired of that and i dated other guys, i had a new relationship, and he didnt talk to me for a while, but yet again he still was there. Later, me and my ex boyfriend broek up. And my lover was still there and more than ever was when we got even more close. Its been a year and half i havent been in another relationship, and neither has he. We hang out, we have kissed, we go to movies and other more places and at times we act like boyfriend and girlfriend in public. We have had our talks about us. The main reason he says he is not with me is becaue he is afriad to open up his heart. He dont tell me in those exact words, but he does tell me in other ways. I have told him i am different from other girls, i wont hurt him, ive been there since 2007 and always will be there. He always tells me that females only wanna use him, and then throw him out. We been friends, but yet we have feelings for each other. Main problem is him, because he dont want to open up his heart to me, even though he knows i wont hurt him. I dont know what to do no more, i really want to be more than just friends with him. I want to find a good way to show him the great side and that he coould love again and love truly and that this relationship of me and him would work out. I just need advice please, because i dont know what more to do. At time i am afriad to bring up the subject about us, about being toghter because im afraid of losing him.
Lost-n-confused Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I don’t think you will be able to pull this off without risking the friendship… You can never have your cake and eat it too. With that said I guess you have a few options.. You could ask him out to dinner put your best outfit on and treat it like a date? You could attempt to kiss him and ask him to be your boyfriend? Risky!! You could give him an ultimatum like “I got friends and I want to be more then friends and if you don’t want a relationship take a hike.” This is from a guys perspective.... So I dont really know. Good luck.
boogieboy Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 He's using the classic line "i dont want to be in a relationship" which usually means he doesnt want to be in a relationship with YOU. That means you are good enough to fool around with but nothing more. On the other hand, if he really HAS been dumped by all his ex's, then he's guarded because he doesnt know what hes doing wrong. You THINK you wont leave him ever, but thats only until he does something to turn you off. Since he doesnt know what he might do to do that, he cant trust you. So there is nothing you can do to make him your boyfriend. He doesnt like you enough to take a chance on you.
Author ArelysLove Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 Well thank you guys! But i know its not like i will never ever leave him, but i would at least want a chance. Cant he take a chance on love, to risk it... I want to help him overcome that part of his life.
boogieboy Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Well thank you guys! But i know its not like i will never ever leave him, but i would at least want a chance. Cant he take a chance on love, to risk it... I want to help him overcome that part of his life. Thats exactly what he doesnt want to take a chance on, you just stated how conditional you are. He wont take a chance on love just because you NEED it so badly. Its not all about you. Go find a guy who is ready for a relationship.
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