Star Gazer Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Gutted, I have no doubt that the men you date can sense your obsessiveness and insecurity. That probably has more to do with why you're not getting called back after dates than anything else.
meerkat stew Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 he has used me. I feel like he should be held accountable.I am thinking about texting him and asking him what the f he is playing at. I know this is a bad idea but he has explaining to do. How has he "used" you? What "explaining" are you due? You are strangers who met and went on one date and did not have sex, did you give him some money or something? Did he lie to you? Get over yourself and take some time before further dating, you are not ready to date at the moment.
Author so gutted Posted February 21, 2010 Author Posted February 21, 2010 Gutted, I have no doubt that the men you date can sense your obsessiveness and insecurity. That probably has more to do with why you're not getting called back after dates than anything else. in this case he couldnt sense that as I did not let on at all - during the date he promised me things etc and i think he should be held accountable..he used grief as an excuse - how low is that?
Author so gutted Posted February 21, 2010 Author Posted February 21, 2010 Men can smell desperation, Gutted. I have only contacted him to do withthe grief and he replied back. also after the date he contacted me on 2 seperate occasions the day after. why didnt he cut of then? I want an explanation. How do I get one without looking mad - i can accept that he is unreliable and has gone of me but he should be made to feel awkward and bad for leading me on, kissing me etc.
PhillyDude Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 I have only contacted him to do withthe grief and he replied back. also after the date he contacted me on 2 seperate occasions the day after. why didnt he cut of then? I want an explanation. How do I get one without looking mad - i can accept that he is unreliable and has gone of me but he should be made to feel awkward and bad for leading me on, kissing me etc. Well that's the fyunny thing about dating, sometimes you dont get an explanation when some falls off the face of the earth. So you have to deal with it and move on. No point in analyzing it because it appears to be over
Author so gutted Posted February 21, 2010 Author Posted February 21, 2010 Well that's the fyunny thing about dating, sometimes you dont get an explanation when some falls off the face of the earth. So you have to deal with it and move on. No point in analyzing it because it appears to be over shouldnt he have to explain why he pretended he was grieving and then disappeared?? why should he get away with it?
PhillyDude Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 shouldnt he have to explain why he pretended he was grieving and then disappeared?? why should he get away with it? No one needs to explain when they only been on 1 date.
Author so gutted Posted February 21, 2010 Author Posted February 21, 2010 No one needs to explain when they only been on 1 date. he needs to explain because he should have NOT got physical with me...and then disappear...scot free.
Star Gazer Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 he needs to explain because he should have NOT got physical with me...and then disappear...scot free. NO ONE needs to explain why they kissed you on a FIRST DATE and never called you again.
PhillyDude Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 he needs to explain because he should have NOT got physical with me...and then disappear...scot free. People make out with each other and disappear all the time. Part of Dating Life
D-Lish Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 He really doesn't owe you anything G, sorry. You only had one date. Rejection sucks, but it's a part of dating. Maybe he changed his mind, maybe he's met someone else, there are a lot of maybe's.
Author so gutted Posted February 21, 2010 Author Posted February 21, 2010 He really doesn't owe you anything G, sorry. You only had one date. Rejection sucks, but it's a part of dating. Maybe he changed his mind, maybe he's met someone else, there are a lot of maybe's. true but meanwhile I am left waiting like a fool and checking my phone every five mins. I have been out etc, met up with friends but I still end up feeling low and wishing he had called. even a text to help me feel better then worthless. Why did he reply to my texts? why didnt he just cut of then or give me a hint that this was over, instead it felt like he would get in touch after the funeral - and he hasnt. I have met lots of men and usually they want me and I do not want them, this is a case of me liking him and he does NOT feel the same. Its hard to accept and god only knows why I want this in writing from him. Maybe its closure.
Star Gazer Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 even a text to help me feel better then worthless. Would a text saying, "I am not interested in you, sorry" really make you feel better??
Author so gutted Posted February 21, 2010 Author Posted February 21, 2010 Would a text saying, "I am not interested in you, sorry" really make you feel better?? in the long term yes - its better then waiting.
Star Gazer Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 in the long term yes - its better then waiting. In the long term? So right now it wouldn't feel good? In the long term, you'll know that his silence is the same thing as such a text message.
sid3 Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 I have met lots of men and usually they want me and I do not want them, this is a case of me liking him and he does NOT feel the same. Its hard to accept and god only knows why I want this in writing from him. Maybe its closure. So now you know what it's like. Maybe you've done the same thing and it's just karma.IDK Why should he owe you anything, because you were kind enough to let him kiss you? Just be glad you didn't sleep with him, then again maybe thats why he pulled the disappearing act. From reading your posts you sound like your shocked that something like this has happened to YOU. Maybe saving the kissing until you know the person a little more would better suit you and protect your feelings in the event this happens again.
Kamille Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 true but meanwhile I am left waiting like a fool and checking my phone every five mins. I have been out etc, met up with friends but I still end up feeling low and wishing he had called. even a text to help me feel better then worthless. It's pretty normal to hope a guy you liked would call, but it's a bit extravagant to allow yourself to feel worthless because of the opinion of one guy you hardly know. Self-esteem doesn't come from the opinion of people we hardly know, it comes from within. Not getting a second date is no reason to feel worthless.
wizer Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I want an explanation. etc. You may "want" it, that doesn't mean you're going to get it. Even if you confront him. Odds are he just wasnt feeling it. Assume that's what it was, and let it go. in this case he couldnt sense that as I did not let on at all - during the date he promised me things etc and i think he should be held accountable..he used grief as an excuse - how low is that? Believing that he couldn't pick up on your obvious desperation and obsessiveness is one of your many mistakes.
marsle85 Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 It's normal to want him to call, and it's normal for him not wanting to call. It's dating. Don't blame *your* response to his disinterest on him. It's understandable to be disappointed, but you looking at your phone every 5 minutes and getting torn up, those responses are YOUR behavior. You own how much you let someone upset you. Life moves on, you're going to be okay. It was one date. Gets worse than this, yanno. Good luck .
Mary3 Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Other than you being extremely obsessive about a one time date I think you should take ALL dates in the future as a fun time with NO expectations ! IF the guy falls head over heels for you then so be it and enjoy it. But I am getting worried about all your DEMANDS that he contact you. He could sniff dysfunction . He did. A mile away. He is not interested in you. A kiss. A hug. A promise of another date = means NOTHING. They do the good nite speech. They add whatever they want to it. MOVE ON ! Stop getting so serious NO MATTER how great he was and it was because it was just a DATE.
Recommended Posts