MARINE_ONE Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 Where to start? Everything has moved so quickly for me. Six weeks ago on Wednesday I found out she wanted out of our 12 year marriage. Now she is already moving to Texas to be with the MM she has been seeing. I don't know why this bothers me soo much. I have been over this. I don't want her back, but it drives me nuts that she has moved on so quickly. Him as well. They only found each other 6 weeks ago after not seeing each other since junior high. He has now moved out of his house. He just abandon his wife and kids. My stbxw is moving down to be with him. I guess his wife is mad at my stbxw. While she should be, doesn't she blame him too? I know I blame my wife for this mess. Does my ex really believe she is gonna live happily ever after with this guy? I guess it's possible, but I would think highly unlikely considering they broke up two families with the way they got together. What's even more crazy is that my wife has been staying at his mothers house. How crazy is that?? I guess I should expect that she should be messed up too. Had to be where he got it from. If either of my boys abandon his kids I will literally kick their butts within an inch of their lives. To me this guy is the lowest of human scum. Here is to karma!! See ya on the flipside buddy. Sorry about typos. Using my phone.
Gabriele Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 your right Karma........it will get them both. I hope you stay strong, for you and your kids, get good counseling. You will be happy again! and your stbxw and her maggot will be miserable........a relationship born on deceit and destruction......it's doomed! Gabriele
bittersweet memories Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 Where to start? Everything has moved so quickly for me. Six weeks ago on Wednesday I found out she wanted out of our 12 year marriage. Now she is already moving to Texas to be with the MM she has been seeing. I don't know why this bothers me soo much. I have been over this. I don't want her back, but it drives me nuts that she has moved on so quickly. Him as well. They only found each other 6 weeks ago after not seeing each other since junior high. He has now moved out of his house. He just abandon his wife and kids. My stbxw is moving down to be with him. I guess his wife is mad at my stbxw. While she should be, doesn't she blame him too? I know I blame my wife for this mess. Does my ex really believe she is gonna live happily ever after with this guy? I guess it's possible, but I would think highly unlikely considering they broke up two families with the way they got together. What's even more crazy is that my wife has been staying at his mothers house. How crazy is that?? I guess I should expect that she should be messed up too. Had to be where he got it from. If either of my boys abandon his kids I will literally kick their butts within an inch of their lives. To me this guy is the lowest of human scum. Here is to karma!! See ya on the flipside buddy. Sorry about typos. Using my phone. Very interesting.. that they knew each other back in Junior High. That explains alot. Rekindling or re-uniting with an old flame from back in the days or high school days are always hard to let go after so many years. Those feelings are hard to explain, let me just put it that way. I wish you the best. Good luck to you.
Author MARINE_ONE Posted February 15, 2010 Author Posted February 15, 2010 Very interesting.. that they knew each other back in Junior High. That explains alot. Rekindling or re-uniting with an old flame from back in the days or high school days are always hard to let go after so many years. Those feelings are hard to explain, let me just put it that way. I wish you the best. Good luck to you. Junior high though? They only went out twice. I could see if they dated for a long time or something. But they only went out twice. I have a lot of old girlfriends and I don't want any of them back. Maybe I am the exception.
Jeff1962 Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 I know you're hurting dude. This must be a total mind f**k. Get some help for yourself and for your KIDS. Personal counseling for you and family for you and your kids. She'll be back. After she moves (if she moves), I give it 6 weeks. I would start the ball rolling on the divorce and prove that she just took off and left her kids to be with this loser. This way at least you can get full custody and can protect them.
Blindsidedagainalive Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 They only found each other 6 weeks ago after not seeing each other since junior high. How do you know it has not been going on longer? Do you have absolute evidence that shows this? It appears that they have been in touch much longer. Neither party would be willing to jeopardize so much, nor even Plan in such a short period of time.
jennie-jennie Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 Junior high though? They only went out twice. I could see if they dated for a long time or something. But they only went out twice. I have a lot of old girlfriends and I don't want any of them back. Maybe I am the exception. From what I have read it depends on why their relationship did not continue. Was it of their own doing or because of circumstance (like a move or interfering parents or just being too young)? Also combining the long term attachment of then and now with the high intensity of young love awakened anew is extremely powerful. It does not make it less painful for you, of course, but it is an explanation of why things are moving on so quickly. I am truly sorry you are hurting.
seibert253 Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Go for full custody of your kids. That should be fairly easy since she's abandoning them. Get the D papers signed ASAFP. That way when her relationship with the OM implodes, she can't come running back and try to change everything. Trust me, when the fantasy wears off, and everything crumbles, she will come flying back. It's up to you what you do when that happens, but IMO you and your children deserve better.
bittersweet memories Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Go for full custody of your kids. That should be fairly easy since she's abandoning them. Get the D papers signed ASAFP. That way when her relationship with the OM implodes, she can't come running back and try to change everything. Trust me, when the fantasy wears off, and everything crumbles, she will come flying back. It's up to you what you do when that happens, but IMO you and your children deserve better. I would not go that far. He will just make her life easier by taking full custody. Raising children is a lot of work. Having the kids in the picture will probably add a little stress to their newly found relationship..who knows? But don't make things easy for her. She needs to be responsible at some point.
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I surely hope you Rape her for child support. She doesnt deserve them damn kids!!! Dont worry, your gonna find someone else new and better. Believe me when i say that!
angie2443 Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 My heart goes out to you and all the children involved. I've read a bit of your story. Your STBXW sounds very unstable. I think counseling would be a very good idea for you and the kids. Take care of yourself!
Samantha0905 Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Junior high though? They only went out twice. I could see if they dated for a long time or something. But they only went out twice. I have a lot of old girlfriends and I don't want any of them back. Maybe I am the exception. I agree with you. Junior high? Come on. LOL I don't think they achieved any long term bond back from junior high. I do think it's possible they've been in touch more than you know possibly? In any event, it sounds like a whirlwind start to a relationship. They're taking out a lot of people for their own personal happiness. I highly doubt it will last a long time, but I hope you don't spend too much time worrying about it. Twelve years is a long time to just have it suddenly pulled out from under you. I'm sorry for your loss. I think you and your children should get counseling to work through this. It is a crazy situation.
Chingaling Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 From what I have read it depends on why their relationship did not continue. Was it of their own doing or because of circumstance (like a move or interfering parents or just being too young)? Also combining the long term attachment of then and now with the high intensity of young love awakened anew is extremely powerful. It does not make it less painful for you, of course, but it is an explanation of why things are moving on so quickly. I am truly sorry you are hurting. JennieJ has a very good point. Being in a similar situation myself and having researched the phenomenon of rekindling, I know that once ignited, the force is almost irresistable. I don't know about six weeks worth of interraction though - that seems pretty quick to me. If confronted, it makes sense though for WW to try to minimize how long the A had been going on - out of guilt and hoping to dodge a bullet. Is it possible that WW is trying to persuade you that she was suddenly overcome by these feelings so that if she finds that she has to return to you that she can claim that she was temporarily out of her mind? Nothing like leaving a door open... Having said that, no amount of rekindled passion would (in my opinion) be enough reason to suddenly leave a husband and young children. It seems pretty selfish to me. I wish you all the best, and hope that everything works out for you.
Author MARINE_ONE Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 I know you're hurting dude. This must be a total mind f**k. Get some help for yourself and for your KIDS. Personal counseling for you and family for you and your kids. She'll be back. After she moves (if she moves), I give it 6 weeks. I would start the ball rolling on the divorce and prove that she just took off and left her kids to be with this loser. This way at least you can get full custody and can protect them. Divorce is final in a couple of days.
Author MARINE_ONE Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 I would not go that far. He will just make her life easier by taking full custody. Raising children is a lot of work. Having the kids in the picture will probably add a little stress to their newly found relationship..who knows? But don't make things easy for her. She needs to be responsible at some point. I totally agree. I believe this guy will run for the hills when this all becomes a little more real for him. He is gonna be freaking out when he sees my ex show up with a car load of kids. He is gonna realize that he is gonna be living with someone elses four kids instead of his two, and that he still has to pay supportfor his and probably his wife. Really wish I could see his face when he has his epiphany. But no matter what I can't take her back. I couldn't yoyo the kids that way. Or me. I could never know what she really feels inside. Sadly, this is a street that we can't go back down. I really will miss her and cherish the memories of our good times. We had a lot of great times during our 12 years.
reboot Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I would not go that far. He will just make her life easier by taking full custody. Raising children is a lot of work. Having the kids in the picture will probably add a little stress to their newly found relationship..who knows? But don't make things easy for her. She needs to be responsible at some point. BS. You do what's best for the kids (in this case them being raised by Dad seems infinitely best to me), you don't leave them with Mom in hopes they'll make her miserable. You don't use your kids as a weapon.
bittersweet memories Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 BS. You do what's best for the kids (in this case them being raised by Dad seems infinitely best to me), you don't leave them with Mom in hopes they'll make her miserable. You don't use your kids as a weapon. True...but in the end of the day she's their mom too and needs to be responsible.
angie2443 Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 True...but in the end of the day she's their mom too and needs to be responsible. She's bipolar. She can only be so responsible. I'm not sticking up for her. I'm stating a fact. This is something that needs to be taken into consideration when deciding how to handle the situation.
bittersweet memories Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 (edited) She's bipolar. She can only be so responsible. I'm not sticking up for her. I'm stating a fact. This is something that needs to be taken into consideration when deciding how to handle the situation. Sorry but what does Bipolar have to do with it? I personnally know a single mom, has 2 children and she's a GREAT mom. Just because you have Bipolar does not make you a bad parent...please! Edited February 16, 2010 by bittersweet memories
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