kwyser Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 I see so may people on here say that their ex is perfect and there will never be anyone like their ex ever again. Stop thinking that way. Especially if your ex hurt you, how can you think this way? There will always be someone better that you can find for yourself. Anyone reading his who has gone through a break up and is saying to themselves that their ex was perfect and they will never find anything like that again, stop it. Start living your life and talking to and meeting new people. This can and will be very hard at first, but you have to get through it. Good luck, Kenny
ginyi1111 Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 its true, i have put my ex sooo high on the pedestal that he now has god-like status in my heart. despite the hurt and the tears i still think he is a wonderful wonderful man and it is my loss because we broke up. Therefore i deserve to be dumped.
9Lives Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 ya you right....they aint all that. We just act like it....if i can get him i can get someone else. to the left please!!
USMCHokie Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 The reason why we put exes on pedestals is because we associate them with our past relationships and our happiness. It's not necessarily the individual him or herself that we miss, it's the feelings of love and affection that come with a relationship...and since our last experience with those feelings were with that ex, we'll naturally put them in higher regard than they should be. We think they are the only ones for us because they made that last relationship unique in some way...and they miss that unique relationship...therefore they miss the person that gave them that relationship... In my opinion, people are replaceable, but relationships are not...the dynamic between two people is just too unique that it cannot truly be replicated between you and another person...
just1guy Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 I'm guilty of this. I'm pretty good throughout the day, primarily because of work and the gym, but it's the time at night before I go to bed that my mind starts to place her on a pedestal. My friends and co-workers have to keep telling me this and I am so thankful that they are there to talk me trhough it.. I guess I'm still not used to not hearing her voice before I go to bed that gets the best of me. I know that I'll survive this because I've gone thru it many times before. But this was the longest relationship that I just came out of (2 years) so this is probably why I'm still going crazy 2 months after the breakup.
just1guy Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 The reason why we put exes on pedestals is because we associate them with our past relationships and our happiness. It's not necessarily the individual him or herself that we miss, it's the feelings of love and affection that come with a relationship...and since our last experience with those feelings were with that ex, we'll naturally put them in higher regard than they should be. We think they are the only ones for us because they made that last relationship unique in some way...and they miss that unique relationship...therefore they miss the person that gave them that relationship... In my opinion, people are replaceable, but relationships are not...the dynamic between two people is just too unique that it cannot truly be replicated between you and another person... Greatly said. Thank you.
pureinheart Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 its true, i have put my ex sooo high on the pedestal that he now has god-like status in my heart. despite the hurt and the tears i still think he is a wonderful wonderful man and it is my loss because we broke up. Therefore i deserve to be dumped. Ginyi....why do you say this? Why do you blame yourself? Even if you did do something wrong it's ok....a break up takes two people meaning it wasn't just your fault, just his fault...it may have been noones fault. You deserve to be loved, period (((((((((huggggsss))))))))
pureinheart Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 I see so may people on here say that their ex is perfect and there will never be anyone like their ex ever again. Stop thinking that way. Especially if your ex hurt you, how can you think this way? There will always be someone better that you can find for yourself. Anyone reading his who has gone through a break up and is saying to themselves that their ex was perfect and they will never find anything like that again, stop it. Start living your life and talking to and meeting new people. This can and will be very hard at first, but you have to get through it. Good luck, Kenny Very good post, I will take your advice, and thank you for taking the time to care about other people and say these things . I possibly had my ex a lot higher than he should have been...then after awhile (lol 9 Lives) he did think he was all that...he put himself up there, way up there....it sure is a long fall down...oh well.
Ilovecake Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 kwyser a much needed thread. I think this irritates me more that anything I read on this site. Also if I may add, all this self blame needs to stop. There is nothing most of us could have done to stop the breakup, unless we were a complete *********. If the dumpers tell you you weren't funny enough or didn't have a good enough job or weren't adventurous enough, that's their problem not yours. You are who you are and if they can't deal with it there are hundreds of people out there who would be absolutely ecstatic to be with someone "exactly" like you.
ginyi1111 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Ginyi....why do you say this? Why do you blame yourself? Even if you did do something wrong it's ok....a break up takes two people meaning it wasn't just your fault, just his fault...it may have been noones fault. You deserve to be loved, period (((((((((huggggsss)))))))) I just cannot shake that feeling off even tho i did nothing wrong. I am still so sad now even though he dumped me 3 months ago. He is the sweetest and nicest guy that I know and I knew he loved me...but somehow he just didnt wanna be with me anymore. So there should be something not right with me because how could he have just stopped loving me just like that?
EYECANDY000 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 I am guilty of this. I put his feelings and my happiness before my own. Don't get me wrong, I love myself, but I wanted to make sure he was always happy. I thought after a break up a few years ago that I would never find happiness or love again. But I did. I don't regret anything that happened in my last relationship. And I wouldn't change a thing. I did everything I could to please him. But in the end it just didn't work out. I know that I will love again and be loved.. Thanks for the post. Great advice..
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