Wife's lack of sexual desire

February 20, 2010

As the initiator of is this tread....I would like to provide and up date on my status as I regularly read everyone's input.

First let me thank everyone for their input. There are a great many interesting opinions and observations.

Secondly these discussions have simply confirmed that which I always thought, and that is EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. We come in all shapes and sizes AND differences in sexual desire are inevitable.

Thirdly I would like to respond to the various possibilities discussed here that might be "causing" the lack of desire in my wife's case. To respond to all the various scenarios , here is what I am POSITIVE this issue is NOT about:

1. Affair: No way - Not remotely close to that

2. Not attracted to me - No Way - I'm a nice looking guy, very fit, very healthy looking, look young for my age, women like my appearance, she still likes to show me off to friends and acquaintances, etc.

3. Poor hygiene: - No way - I'm very well groomed and all that

4. She does not like sex - No way - was never an issue and when she does have sex now she still enjoys it.

5. Orgasm - No Way - She was and still is orgasmic (albeit not every time and yes I'm glad she is NOT a faker)

6. No longer loves me & is "repulsed" by sex (Call it the Lizzie scenario) - No Way - She really does love me as I do her and she enjoys sex when we do have it infrequently.

So here is what in MY opinion is the issue with her lack of sex:

1. Boredom: That is a possibility I suppose but it is likely more a small element rather than the real issue. This one has an easy fix in my opinion. If this is all it was, I'd be in great shape to fix the problem.

2. Loss of Libido: This is what I believe is BY FAR the most likely scenario that is at play here.

Lets also keep in mind that all women as men are not created equal. I have a very close female friend (late 40's ) who has an extraordinary sexual appetite. I love to talk to her. Lets just say that the Mr. relies on little blue pills to keep pace and uses male guests to occasionally provide extra help. If we were to poll all the ladies and men here, I'm sure we would find the sexual appetite graph would be all over the place. Which is why maybe were are getting diverse opinions on this even from the ladies. There is NO one solution that fits all problems I can see here.

If there is loss of desire and the need for sex is so diminished due to biological reasons (loss of libido), would it be fair for me to try and intimidate her by withholding affection and scaring her into thinking I might leave so that she comes back to me with sex? I try to see this from the reverse point of view. What if it were me that could not engage in sex due to biological reasons (impotence) how would I feel if my wife who wanted sex threatened me with leaving me? I think I would be seriously hurt.

And if she did succumb to my "demands", would I have a wife might experienced what Lizzy60 did? "but when I was with my first ex... sex was a real sacrifice.."...."until I just couldn't take it any longer... it was disgusting at some point.."

So my approach has NOT been to scare the life out of her NOR to sit down and endlessly "talk" about what "I need" to do (frankly I have done my part - it's time for her do meet meet me partially). What I have been doing is in line with many various suggestions in one form or another that have been given here in this thread.

So here is my status (This in ONLY to state my situation and NOT to imply others to follow):

1. I am NOT withholding daily affection or closeness even in bed. I still show her affection all the time.

2. What I AM doing is NO longer trying to initiate sex several times a week KNOWING that I will get rejected most times.

3. I intentionally have injected some subtle "sexual tension" into our home. I have re-connected with a few past female co-workers and am now in regular chat communications with them. I don't hide it, I chat with that on my laptop even when she is around and knows it. My wife has taken notice of this. I can see it has made her a bit uneasy (I know her very well). Just very recently we had a conversation in which she actually said that she is feeling a bit jealous about my communication and she is not used to feeling that way...........hmmmm.

It has been about 3 weeks since our last sexual encounter and I had not initiated anything nor has she (as I would have expected).

Early this morning I decided I would initiate. However, I did not do so in the usual manner "low key" manner which message would come across more as a "are you OK with this honey?".....instead I used a much stronger approach. It was still very early, she was sleeping but kind of awake.....and I reached out to her in a manner which message would come across to her "I want you now".......her response....she was ready for me with a quickness I have not seen for a very long time. I was quite amazed. She was so ready for sex as if she were there waiting for me all along. After (it was still quite early) we cuddled and fell asleep again.

Later that morning we had a family function to go and we needed to wake up earlier than we normally like to on a weekend. So after starting the coffee ( she was still in bed) I decided to try again (it was still early enough). I got in bed, held her for a bit from behind (she could feel what state my lower body part was) then I reached and turned her toward me and ...as she playfully started to tell me not to get any funny ideas because we had to get going soon...I never let her finish that sentence and as I reached to kiss her and assertively let her know I wanted her again, she was ready for me once again, very turned on and we went a second round. Later in the morning she was a bit flirty and playful with me.

I'd have to think real far back the last time she was so quick and eager to want me (and two time at that).

Having that experience after 3 weeks from our last intimacy session was a very pleasant surprise and feeling. What next? Well I'm NOT going to overplay my cards that's for sure. I may just keep keep low for a while, and when she least expect it (another morning maybe)......I'm going to try again, same way and hopefully same response. OK, so maybe the frequency is NOT that great, but if it continues it is FAR better than before. This is a work in progress. Maybe if her response continues this well, I might slip throw her a "curve ball" and try after a week. And then wait a while before doing it again. I don't know. We'll see.

What happened here? Not quite sure but maybe a combination of all the above changes? I don't know. Just looking forward to see if this continues.

February 20, 2010

Very interesting! Success at last! I hope it's a permanent change!

February 20, 2010

3. I intentionally have injected some subtle "sexual tension" into our home. I have re-connected with a few past female co-workers and am now in regular chat communications with them. I don't hide it, I chat with that on my laptop even when she is around and knows it. My wife has taken notice of this. I can see it has made her a bit uneasy (I know her very well). Just very recently we had a conversation in which she actually said that she is feeling a bit jealous about my communication and she is not used to feeling that way...........hmmmm.

That alone would have kept me from sleeping with you. Congrats that it hasn't backfired on you but I view that as complete game-playing and offensive.

February 20, 2010

totally cool - frankly a really ballsey thing to do - whether emotional withdrawal or the fear of sexual rival - you scared your wife a little bit.

The issue for me wouldn't be the whole low libido thing - the issue would be watching my wife sleep like a baby year after year while she was getting all her needs met and ignoring mine.

I think you will continue to find a very high correlation between your interaction with other females and your wifes sexual attention to you.

If you keep doing THAT - you may wake her libido all the way up.

As the initiator of is this tread....I would like to provide and up date on my status as I regularly read everyone's input.

First let me thank everyone for their input. There are a great many interesting opinions and observations.

Secondly these discussions have simply confirmed that which I always thought, and that is EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. We come in all shapes and sizes AND differences in sexual desire are inevitable.

Thirdly I would like to respond to the various possibilities discussed here that might be "causing" the lack of desire in my wife's case. To respond to all the various scenarios , here is what I am POSITIVE this issue is NOT about:

1. Affair: No way - Not remotely close to that
2. Not attracted to me - No Way - I'm a nice looking guy, very fit, very healthy looking, look young for my age, women like my appearance, she still likes to show me off to friends and acquaintances, etc.
3. Poor hygiene: - No way - I'm very well groomed and all that
4. She does not like sex - No way - was never an issue and when she does have sex now she still enjoys it.
5. Orgasm - No Way - She was and still is orgasmic (albeit not every time and yes I'm glad she is NOT a faker)
6. No longer loves me & is "repulsed" by sex (Call it the Lizzie scenario) - No Way - She really does love me as I do her and she enjoys sex when we do have it infrequently.

So here is what in MY opinion is the issue with her lack of sex:

1. Boredom: That is a possibility I suppose but it is likely more a small element rather than the real issue. This one has an easy fix in my opinion. If this is all it was, I'd be in great shape to fix the problem.

2. Loss of Libido: This is what I believe is BY FAR the most likely scenario that is at play here.

Lets also keep in mind that all women as men are not created equal. I have a very close female friend (late 40's ) who has an extraordinary sexual appetite. I love to talk to her. Lets just say that the Mr. relies on little blue pills to keep pace and uses male guests to occasionally provide extra help. If we were to poll all the ladies and men here, I'm sure we would find the sexual appetite graph would be all over the place. Which is why maybe were are getting diverse opinions on this even from the ladies. There is NO one solution that fits all problems I can see here.

If there is loss of desire and the need for sex is so diminished due to biological reasons (loss of libido), would it be fair for me to try and intimidate her by withholding affection and scaring her into thinking I might leave so that she comes back to me with sex? I try to see this from the reverse point of view. What if it were me that could not engage in sex due to biological reasons (impotence) how would I feel if my wife who wanted sex threatened me with leaving me? I think I would be seriously hurt.
And if she did succumb to my "demands", would I have a wife might experienced what Lizzy60 did? "but when I was with my first ex... sex was a real sacrifice.."...."until I just couldn't take it any longer... it was disgusting at some point.."

So my approach has NOT been to scare the life out of her NOR to sit down and endlessly "talk" about what "I need" to do (frankly I have done my part - it's time for her do meet meet me partially). What I have been doing is in line with many various suggestions in one form or another that have been given here in this thread.

So here is my status (This in ONLY to state my situation and NOT to imply others to follow):

1. I am NOT withholding daily affection or closeness even in bed. I still show her affection all the time.
2. What I AM doing is NO longer trying to initiate sex several times a week KNOWING that I will get rejected most times.
3. I intentionally have injected some subtle "sexual tension" into our home. I have re-connected with a few past female co-workers and am now in regular chat communications with them. I don't hide it, I chat with that on my laptop even when she is around and knows it. My wife has taken notice of this. I can see it has made her a bit uneasy (I know her very well). Just very recently we had a conversation in which she actually said that she is feeling a bit jealous about my communication and she is not used to feeling that way...........hmmmm.

It has been about 3 weeks since our last sexual encounter and I had not initiated anything nor has she (as I would have expected).

Early this morning I decided I would initiate. However, I did not do so in the usual manner "low key" manner which message would come across more as a "are you OK with this honey?".....instead I used a much stronger approach. It was still very early, she was sleeping but kind of awake.....and I reached out to her in a manner which message would come across to her "I want you now".......her response....she was ready for me with a quickness I have not seen for a very long time. I was quite amazed. She was so ready for sex as if she were there waiting for me all along. After (it was still quite early) we cuddled and fell asleep again.

Later that morning we had a family function to go and we needed to wake up earlier than we normally like to on a weekend. So after starting the coffee ( she was still in bed) I decided to try again (it was still early enough). I got in bed, held her for a bit from behind (she could feel what state my lower body part was) then I reached and turned her toward me and ...as she playfully started to tell me not to get any funny ideas because we had to get going soon...I never let her finish that sentence and as I reached to kiss her and assertively let her know I wanted her again, she was ready for me once again, very turned on and we went a second round. Later in the morning she was a bit flirty and playful with me.

I'd have to think real far back the last time she was so quick and eager to want me (and two time at that).

Having that experience after 3 weeks from our last intimacy session was a very pleasant surprise and feeling. What next? Well I'm NOT going to overplay my cards that's for sure. I may just keep keep low for a while, and when she least expect it (another morning maybe)......I'm going to try again, same way and hopefully same response. OK, so maybe the frequency is NOT that great, but if it continues it is FAR better than before. This is a work in progress. Maybe if her response continues this well, I might slip throw her a "curve ball" and try after a week. And then wait a while before doing it again. I don't know. We'll see.

What happened here? Not quite sure but maybe a combination of all the above changes? I don't know. Just looking forward to see if this continues.

February 20, 2010

Very interesting! Success at last! I hope it's a permanent change!

Well I hope so too. But I'm going to take a cautious approach and not let it get to my head. What I think I need to do is nurture this success and allow it to flourish. I was really turned on....by seeing her turned on. Could it be that maybe she was turned on because she is saw how much I wanted her and determined I was?

February 20, 2010

That alone would have kept me from sleeping with you. Congrats that it hasn't backfired on you but I view that as complete game-playing and offensive.

Now here is why I think you positions are so extreme. You would deny me "just" because I have few female friends? My wife works. She interact with guys all the time. On occasion she tells me situations that....make me a bit jealous. Yes Lizzy, when you are in love, and another man approaches my wife and talks to her, I like the fact that he is paying attention to her, it compliments me (for my choice in wife), but at the same time, I feel a bit jealous too. Do I really think that I would think she would run off with some guy just because he is paying some attention to her? Come on, Lizzie. It's called LOVING YOUR WOMAN. Jealousy is a by product of LOVE. If I did NOT love my wife, I would NOT GIVE A HOOT of who would talk to her. But I do. And so does she BECAUSE she also LOVES her husband.

Lizzie, I said from the beginning. I would NOT leave my wife over this issue. I am committed. I will try my best to make things work. Thank god I married my wife. Thank god I never married you.

I suspect that most men reading this thread would agree with that last statement.

February 20, 2010

totally cool - frankly a really ballsey thing to do - whether emotional withdrawal or the fear of sexual rival - you scared your wife a little bit.

The issue for me wouldn't be the whole low libido thing - the issue would be watching my wife sleep like a baby year after year while she was getting all her needs met and ignoring mine.

I think you will continue to find a very high correlation between your interaction with other females and your wifes sexual attention to you.

If you keep doing THAT - you may wake her libido all the way up.

Not quite sure if I'd say I scared her. Maybe she felt turned on by just a tad of competition? Maybe it was simply my stronger approach? Maybe it was that I did not pester her a dozen times since we did it last? Could be a bit of all those? One thing is clear, there was something very different this time.

I'm not expecting miracles. I don't know if a libido can be woken up or not. I tend to think that in her case it is just a natural decrease. I'm not hoping to change her, just trying to maybe find that natural state where both she and I can meet and be sexually happy. I'm not shooting for multiple times a week.....unless she is receptive to that. Who knows.

February 20, 2010

Now here is why I think you positions are so extreme. You would deny me "just" because I have few female friends? My wife works. She interact with guys all the time. On occasion she tells me situations that....make me a bit jealous. Yes Lizzy, when you are in love, and another man approaches my wife and talks to her, I like the fact that he is paying attention to her, it compliments me (for my choice in wife), but at the same time, I feel a bit jealous too. Do I really think that I would think she would run off with some guy just because he is paying some attention to her? Come on, Lizzie. It's called LOVING YOUR WOMAN. Jealousy is a by product of LOVE. If I did NOT love my wife, I would NOT GIVE A HOOT of who would talk to her. But I do. And so does she BECAUSE she also LOVES her husband.

Lizzie, I said from the beginning. I would NOT leave my wife over this issue. I am committed. I will try my best to make things work. Thank god I married my wife. Thank god I never married you.

I suspect that most men reading this thread would agree with that last statement.

Opps....SORRY, I thought I was responding to LIZZIE's post I apologize LIZZIE. Unless you feel the same way as CarrieT LOL... I hope not.

February 20, 2010

May I ask you how old you are Crazycatlady.. how long have you been with your H?

I agree that a woman who fake it ALL the time is denying herself great pleasure.. but on the other hand.. a woman who just CAN'T come (a big percentage of women cannot reach orgasm through penetration) will fake it at one point.. cause she knows her husband gets very frustrated that she is un-orgasmic (by penetration).. and to prevent arguments.. she will fake it..

For some reason.. some men think it's THEIR fault if the woman cannot cum.. and it's totally false...

I'm 36, Lizzie, so younger then the 40s that is being discused here, but not that much younger. And only together 14 years, but past the 10 year mark you had mentioned in an earlier post. I'ld be glad to let you know in 6 years time how I feel. I don't really see it being an issue. We try hard not to get in a rut with sex. And evidently I'm such the aggressor that I attacked him in my sleep the other night. I woke up to him moving the pillows I keep nested around me making love to me, and I thought he was the aggressor there, but he told me in the morning that I kept touching and grabbing his hands and putting them on me that he finally gave me what I was asking for. I knew I went to bed wanting it but he wasn't really in the mood. And I go to bed wanting it just about every night.

I agree that most men take it personally when they can't get a woman off with is silly. I read an interesting study about the position of the clit distant from the vagina, and a woman's ability to orgasm through penitration. It was within this past year that I read it. Luckily my H understands.

CCL

February 20, 2010

PKB57,

As you mentioned earlier, I do think that loss of libido is very likely in this situation. Your wife is at that age when our hormones start doing some pretty crazy things! I would sit down and have a heart-to-heart with her...let her know that you really miss the closeness and fun of sex and ask her to visit her Dr.'s office. She might need a little boost from testosterone to help get her in the mood again.

I hope things get better soon!

February 20, 2010

That alone would have kept me from sleeping with you. Congrats that it hasn't backfired on you but I view that as complete game-playing and offensive.

I tend to disagree with you here.. I think a little injection of assertiveness (sp) is good... if it tickles her that he's in touch with other females that could make her want him... it does work sometimes.. with some women...

February 20, 2010

Well I hope so too. But I'm going to take a cautious approach and not let it get to my head. What I think I need to do is nurture this success and allow it to flourish. I was really turned on....by seeing her turned on. Could it be that maybe she was turned on because she is saw how much I wanted her and determined I was?

Probably... I love a sexually agressive man...huummm... that works for me.. Keep up the good work...

February 20, 2010

Now here is why I think you positions are so extreme. You would deny me "just" because I have few female friends? My wife works. She interact with guys all the time. On occasion she tells me situations that....make me a bit jealous. Yes Lizzy, when you are in love, and another man approaches my wife and talks to her, I like the fact that he is paying attention to her, it compliments me (for my choice in wife), but at the same time, I feel a bit jealous too. Do I really think that I would think she would run off with some guy just because he is paying some attention to her? Come on, Lizzie. It's called LOVING YOUR WOMAN. Jealousy is a by product of LOVE. If I did NOT love my wife, I would NOT GIVE A HOOT of who would talk to her. But I do. And so does she BECAUSE she also LOVES her husband.

Lizzie, I said from the beginning. I would NOT leave my wife over this issue. I am committed. I will try my best to make things work. Thank god I married my wife. Thank god I never married you.

I suspect that most men reading this thread would agree with that last statement.

Whhooooaaa PK... you quoted Carrie T and you were kind of responding to me... weird...

I never said that a little bit of jealousy was wrong.. I think it is good sometimes..

I don't quite understand your post (to me)..

February 20, 2010

Not quite sure if I'd say I scared her. Maybe she felt turned on by just a tad of competition? Maybe it was simply my stronger approach? Maybe it was that I did not pester her a dozen times since we did it last? Could be a bit of all those? One thing is clear, there was something very different this time.

I'm not expecting miracles. I don't know if a libido can be woken up or not. I tend to think that in her case it is just a natural decrease. I'm not hoping to change her, just trying to maybe find that natural state where both she and I can meet and be sexually happy. I'm not shooting for multiple times a week.....unless she is receptive to that. Who knows.

I'm sure it was different this time... but methink that if you use this same approach over and over... she'll eventually get tired of it.. and you'll be back at square one.. Libido can be awaken.. but needs 'passion' and 'variety'..

February 20, 2010

Whhooooaaa PK... you quoted Carrie T and you were kind of responding to me... weird...

I never said that a little bit of jealousy was wrong.. I think it is good sometimes..

I don't quite understand your post (to me)..

Yes Lizzie, I appoligized to you erlier...lol, I realized after it was CarrieT. Sorry about that.

February 20, 2010

Yes Lizzie, I appoligized to you erlier...lol, I realized after it was CarrieT. Sorry about that.

No big deal.. I read it after I posted.. don't worry.. be happy!!!

February 20, 2010

I'm sure it was different this time... but methink that if you use this same approach over and over... she'll eventually get tired of it.. and you'll be back at square one.. Libido can be awaken.. but needs 'passion' and 'variety'..

Well maybe. But I still only consider this a first step. As I said, I'm not going to overplay my cards. I'm not quite sure what the most important element was for this particular situation, but if maybe the more aggressive approach was the catalyst, then I would say that this is something that can be easily expanded with lots of variety. I'll play it all slowly and see how things fall in place.

February 20, 2010

PKB57,
As you mentioned earlier, I do think that loss of libido is very likely in this situation. Your wife is at that age when our hormones start doing some pretty crazy things! I would sit down and have a heart-to-heart with her...let her know that you really miss the closeness and fun of sex and ask her to visit her Dr.'s office. She might need a little boost from testosterone to help get her in the mood again.

I hope things get better soon!

I don't like to rule things out, so the heart-to-heart is not something I would rule out. It's just I was not ready to go there because I wanted to make some changes on my own first. As for the medical angle, I did start out saying that I really wanted to avoid having my wife taking medication to regulate her libido for example. I'm not opposed to it, but I would rather try without it. If all fails in the long run, well then your suggestion and therapy would be in play. But I tend to think of these more as last resorts. I will have to see how much long term improvement I see. I'm in this marriage for the long term so I'm not in a rush. All I care about is improving the situation.

February 21, 2010

Lizzie,

You mentioned the whole cycle of women lying about whether they hit the O from penetration. Never had that deceipt here. My wife has never come from intercourse - never ever. As for other ways - I think I can read her pretty well but maybe she has lied to me on occassion. There are plenty of times we have sex she straight up says it is all about me and doesn't even let me try to get her there.

Probably... I love a sexually agressive man...huummm... that works for me.. Keep up the good work...

February 21, 2010

Lizzie,
You mentioned the whole cycle of women lying about whether they hit the O from penetration. Never had that deceipt here. My wife has never come from intercourse - never ever. As for other ways - I think I can read her pretty well but maybe she has lied to me on occassion. There are plenty of times we have sex she straight up says it is all about me and doesn't even let me try to get her there.

Humm... sounds fishy... I know a LOT of women cannot reach orgasm by penetration... it is a real source of frustration for men who don't understand that there is nothing both partners can do about that.. but if the W has no problem reaching it by other ways... I find it strange that once you start sex, she doesn't get all turned on.. and wants to climax..

February 21, 2010

I don't like to rule things out, so the heart-to-heart is not something I would rule out. It's just I was not ready to go there because I wanted to make some changes on my own first. As for the medical angle, I did start out saying that I really wanted to avoid having my wife taking medication to regulate her libido for example. I'm not opposed to it, but I would rather try without it. If all fails in the long run, well then your suggestion and therapy would be in play. But I tend to think of these more as last resorts. I will have to see how much long term improvement I see. I'm in this marriage for the long term so I'm not in a rush. All I care about is improving the situation.

I understand...

One of my friends finally went on a combination of testosterone and estrogen because she was distressed that her libido disappeared during peri/menopause. The combo brought her right back. It's just a thought. You sound like a very caring spouse.

February 21, 2010

I don't speak from great experience, but good parts of what mem11363 says make sense to me.

February 21, 2010

Lizzie,

She has always said "I am a giver" she swears she likes to give more than receive in bed. Outside bed - I think I give more - which is fine - like to make her happy and she likes to make me happy so it seems sort of balanced to me. I think one factor that does matter is that I truly do want/offer/persuade her to let me pleasure her more - fact is when she says no and means it I have a choice. I can either just say no and nothing happens or let her please me. Don't get me wrong she gets aroused - when we get to intercourse she isn't dry or anything but maybe 1 in 4 times she doesn't O and doesn't even want to try.

Why is it you think it is not simply a case of making me happy makes her happy. Maybe I am just a gullible fool - thing is - I read her microexpressions ALL the time. Pretty sure if something was really "off" in this regard I would read it also. And when I say I read them - what I mean is - I see a momentary look on her face and then say

"I know you are thinking X Y and Z" and often it is not a very nice thought she is having."

Her response is never denial instead she responds by saying "I am entitled to my thoughts and feelings, if I don't verbally express a thought I would prefer you allow me some privacy" and then I just laugh. Because hell mind reading is fun and I don't do it often enough for it to be one of the lovebusters things. But it does make me confident - that if we had a serious sexual disconnect I would be able to read it. Meaning if she was repulsed/resentful.

I think one thing that helps a lot is that on the many nights I know we aren't going to connect, lately maybe it has been about 8 nights a month - so 3 out of four we don't connect and on those nights I express zero desire to connect and zero frustration that we are not going to. And in fact I make sure to be nice, relaxed and fun to be with when we don't connect.

So in the day to day I really have tried to make a successful effort not to pressure her as I think that does breed resentment.

She does connect with me a certain amount out of guilt - I guess I accept some guilt sex.

Humm... sounds fishy... I know a LOT of women cannot reach orgasm by penetration... it is a real source of frustration for men who don't understand that there is nothing both partners can do about that.. but if the W has no problem reaching it by other ways... I find it strange that once you start sex, she doesn't get all turned on.. and wants to climax..

Edited February 21, 2010 by mem11363

February 22, 2010

I understand...
One of my friends finally went on a combination of testosterone and estrogen because she was distressed that her libido disappeared during peri/menopause. The combo brought her right back. It's just a thought. You sound like a very caring spouse.

I'm glad to hear that the medication comb had such a great result. That is at least comforting to know that there are still other avenues to explore and try that have been very successful with others. I'm by no means a single minded and will try other options if necessary.

But your idea brings up a question that I have not yet discussed here. My wife has been on birth control pill for a great many years. I have always wondered if the pill (which increases estrogen level in a body) might also be a contributing factor to lower libido? As I understand it, the pill basically fools the body into thinking it's pregnant and the body responds accordingly. Could this also contribute to lower libido? Does anyone have any ideas on this matter?

February 22, 2010

I'm glad to hear that the medication comb had such a great result. That is at least comforting to know that there are still other avenues to explore and try that have been very successful with others. I'm by no means a single minded and will try other options if necessary.

But your idea brings up a question that I have not yet discussed here. My wife has been on birth control pill for a great many years. I have always wondered if the pill (which increases estrogen level in a body) might also be a contributing factor to lower libido? As I understand it, the pill basically fools the body into thinking it's pregnant and the body responds accordingly. Could this also contribute to lower libido? Does anyone have any ideas on this matter?

You mention in your first post that you are both in your 40's. Oral contraceptives are probably probably not the safest and wisest choice for a woman than age. Higher chance for strokes, clots, etc. In some women it also lowers the sex drive. I am surprised than her Gynecologist recommends the pill at her age unless there are some underlying bleeding problems or other medical issues. Maybe a good discussion with her

physician would help her choose another option than is safer.

Lee

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Lizzie60

Lizzie60

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Lizzie60

PKB57

PKB57

mem11363

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mem11363

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