nes9 Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 I went 6 days after the breakup keeping NC. I slipped one night and talked to her on the phone, then through text and AIM the past couple days. Of course, all it did was dig a deeper hole and bring me to square one. Its just so hard! I feel like I will NEVER meet another girl like her, and that she is the only girl out there for me. Life suuuuuuucks right now. I need to train myself to think more positive.
LostInLimbo Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 Hey NES, your answer is in your post " I feel I will ever meet another girl like her again" if she left you, why would you want to? you should be saying and telling yourself. I hope I never meet another girl like her.... Look for someone who wants you, loves you, not walks away from you..as for thinking you will never find someone out there, thats human behaviour, Trust me YOU WILL! Best of Luck, it will work out... LiL
EYECANDY000 Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 Hi Nes, I'm sorry hun that you are going through this. But so is a lot of people on this forum , including myself. Today has made 7 days since I spoke to my ex. And believe me it is extremly hard. And I have been taking the break up extremly hard. At day 4 he did text me to ask a question, and since I'm so use to responding, I texted right back. Without even realizing it. Then I had to catch myself, because I was giving him the power again. It will get better trust me. Yesterday I woke up and I realized I need to better myself. I haven't been eating like I should. I haven't had any enery to do anything. So , even though it was valentines day I had a great day at work. And today I slept a full 9 hours. I haven't been able to sleep in a week now. I'm not saying that it still don't hurt, but as the days pass, and you continue to talk about it aloud, you will soon realize you are telling the same sorry story over and over and that its time for a change. My ex texted me yesterday to say happy valentines day. And did I respond back? NOPE! I realize that silence is a deadly killer. The dating world is hard and being in a relationship is harder. Stay positive, there are other women out there for you. Hope all is well
Sassygirl2 Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 I have been doing my best to sustain NC but it is SOOOO hard. When you are used to talking/texting/seeing someone several times a day for a significant amount of time. That's great that you have gone 6 - 7 days.....I haven't been able to go more than a day or two. Yesterday, Valentine's Day he decided to grace me with a phone call at 5pm just to ask how I was doing. I was with a girlfriend at the mall getting a foot massage and I didn't answer at first but called back an hour later. I was short and did not offer any information. I just kept saying that I was doing fine. He asked if I was keeping busy and I said "Yep!" (which I thankfully am). He sounded irritated when he hung up. My BIG mistake was when driving home at 9pm last night; I decided to call him and ask why he was irritated with me. He said that I didn't need to be so short with him. I told him that I don't owe him anything. HE was the one who wanted "space" and walked away from me. I told him that I don't know what he wants me to do but that I am moving on and that I'm not going to sit around waiting for him to call me. Then he said, "If you want to make this work you could at least be nice to me when I call." LOL! OMG - I wanted to tell him where to go but I didn't. We continued to argue and he was going to hang up on me but he didn't. He ended the conversation with "We'll talk later". I said "OK!" and goodbye. I'm sorry to keep going on and on but I guess I need to get this out AND could use some advice. I keep thinking that there are ALL the things he and I were going to do. I just moved to a brand new apt. where I was planning and looking forward to having him over for dinner and to stay because we were always staying at his place.......(he was allergic to my old apt due to allergies). I never really got to cook for him or do much because his teenagers and mother live at his house (Latino family). We were going to go on a cruise in a few months......I was going to start joining him in training for his next marathon so I could get in shape.....etc. I know he misses me but why doesn't he want to try to make this work? Can't we just put a little space between us and not spend so much time together and see what happens? Why is it when he talks to me on the phone he says, "Hi Lady!" He used to say "Hi Baby!" I can't stand it. Every phone conversation ended with I love you. He used to call and sing me love songs over the phone.......just 10 days ago was the last text message that said "Love you too BB, XOXO." Where'd he go??
kwyser Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 It's hardest at first. You gotta be strong getting through that first phase. Start moving on and talking to other people. The more people you talk to, the better you will feel and the easier it will be to move on.
Author nes9 Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 I just am hating life right now. In a bad way. I can't accept that she doesn't love me and i love her, its so difficult. She obviously still wants me around as her best friend but i just can't offer that. I would never get over her....
LostInLimbo Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 (edited) I just am hating life right now. In a bad way. I can't accept that she doesn't love me and i love her, its so difficult. She obviously still wants me around as her best friend but i just can't offer that. I would never get over her.... Best Friends won't work, so you have taken the right step there, you have been given great advice and I know its hard, I went through it, because in my case it was alot of what ifs.. Nes, you will make it, be as strong as you can be and keep your self occupied by reading some of these posts and even others who have posted........to see that there are many like you, going through it as well... I wish you well, and remember it looks so far away, but you will get through it...and chances are if you don't stay NC, your going to always step back to square one, That I know, from personal experience... LiL Edited February 16, 2010 by LostInLimbo
Sassygirl2 Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Yeah, I agree being friends of any kind is too hard. I think the nights are the hardest to get through. Thank god for friends and family. You will get through this. Keep telling yourself that. Make a list of the bad qualities. Exercise. Immerse yourself in work if you can. What are you doing to keep yourself busy?
Author nes9 Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 Yeah, I agree being friends of any kind is too hard. I think the nights are the hardest to get through. Thank god for friends and family. You will get through this. Keep telling yourself that. Make a list of the bad qualities. Exercise. Immerse yourself in work if you can. What are you doing to keep yourself busy? I go to the gym, I am taking 3 classes but they are very easy, so they don't require much work. Other than that, not a whole lot. I randomly went shopping for clothes the other day (I almost never do that, I'm a dude), I snowboarded for the first time all year today (too expensive to do all the time) and I splurged and spent 300 bucks on a New Orleans trip with my friends for spring break so I have something to look forward to. I wish I could fill every second of every day so my mind would never think about this, but of course that's impossible.
EYECANDY000 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 I wish I could fill every second of every day so my mind would never think about this, but of course that's impossible. It is impossible to consume your mind 24 hours a day. it is actually not possible at all. But when you start to drift off you have to re focus on something else. Yesterday while I was walking to my car I almost started to cry. I had to take very large and deep breaths and tell myself its gone be ok. also when I get that feeling I have a phrase that I tend to repeat to remind me that I need to focus on myself. keep it up, soon you will forget about your Ex. Have fun on your trip.
Odyssey Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 OP, perhaps not what you wanna hear, but the truth is...unless you take her off that pedestal, you can't really begin to move forward - the pain will stay. Instead of thinking about what you're missing (ex), try thinking about what you have that she and everyone else is missing. I find making a list of all the little things that annoy me about the ex, helps too. Stay strong man. 1 day at a time.
Sassygirl2 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 That makes a lot of sense, "take her off that pedestal". When we think about them constantly it IS like worshipping them or something. I find that everything reminds me of him and when I think, "Oh good - I'm going to be busy doing this and doing that and won't have time to think about him", he stills creeps into my mind. That is the hardest part. Sounds like you are doing good with the plans you are making and going to the gym. I started exercising too and it DOES help a lot! I have spent lots of time with friends the past few weeks that I haven't seen for months.....they thought I had fallen off the planet or something when I was with my ex. I didn't realize how important it is to stay connected with friends and family. Sometimes we get so emmeshed (sp) with our partners and that's not good either. Keep up the good work and keep us posted on how you are doing!
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