canadaman111 Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 We have only had 1 date. i have 2 boys aged 8 and 7. She has 2 girls aged 6 and 2. We had a great time and talked about introducing the kids. I am sure it is far to soon though. From experience how long do you guys typically wait.
sally4sara Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 My husband didn't meet my son till after 9 months of dating. It was just a brief casual meeting. He didn't get to spend much time with him at all for the first year. I dated many people, but if you asked my on about it, he knows nothing about most of them. I'd rather that then him remembering tons of random folks breezing around. Now he has a great relationship with my husband and doesn't have a bunch of faces he can't even remember the names to.
txsilkysmoothe Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 A minimum of 4 to 6 months and only then if the relationship between the two of you has been relatively trouble-free. If there have been bad arguments, breaks, etc. do not introduce the kids. Also, you should become familiar with her kids and her with yours before you introduce your kids to her kids. That is an entirely different set of potential problems.
and.then.some Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 We have only had 1 date. i have 2 boys aged 8 and 7. She has 2 girls aged 6 and 2. We had a great time and talked about introducing the kids. I am sure it is far to soon though. From experience how long do you guys typically wait. Answer: I wait so long that only a couple of guys I've dated have met my children. In all but one case, it was because he dropped something off or I picked something up. I've only accepted the invitation to the zoo,etc from one man. If boyfriend A passes the 3 month mark, and things are going well... we're on the same page, etc... then it is something to consider and discuss. Before that point, it's not even an option for me. I agree with the poster who said 4 to 6 months. I see no point in introducing someone you're not serious about, or aren't yet sure about. While it is a turn on when men are very involved with their children, I become leery when they attempt to introduce me to their children too soon. I don't mean to make a judgment against the choices, lifestyles, or perspectives of others, but I personally do not feel it's healthy to bring a bunch of random dates around children. When put in that position unexpectedly, I couldn't help but wonder "Wow! How many of daddy's other friends has she met?!" Kids are smart, they pick up on things. My father lied about his girlfriend and told me she was a cousin. LOL My mom lied about her boyfriend and told me he was just a coworker. The good thing in that, I guess, is that they were both from previous relationships, and my "cousin" married my dad and my mom's "coworker" married my mom. However, lots of such activity has the potential to send the wrong message to children. I can't have my kids playing video games with a new guy every three months.
mammax3 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 I agree to wait a significant amount of time. If it's possible to stage it like it's a normal thing to hang out with families, then it could go more smoothly. If you are connected with a number of single parent families, then it may seem less like a meeting future siblings, and more like a casual fun hang out time with more family friends.
artchick88 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 from experience: My father introduces me to his girlfriends and their families every time he gets a new one and guess what -- he ALWAYS thinks they are the one so i ALWAYS have to deal with detaching myself from people I have grown close to. Especially since your kids are so young I would wait about 5-6 months (or longer) to make sure it is serious.
Twenty-ten Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 More than three months seems like ridiculous amount of time to me, especially since you both have kids and your time is already limited why not do date stuff in a few months where you can also involve the kids? My rule of thumb is are you serious and do you feel your relationship has potential to be serious then why wait a couple months? Seems reasonable to me no more than that. Also it depends on what your habits have been in the past if you have introduced your kids to someone one month in pretty much all of last year maybe it's time you stop, this can be very destructive for your children, If you date sparingly and the last time your kids met someone was the last long term partner you had then I wouldn't wait so long. Again, always do this with your kids in mind some people just know right away things will work out long term others need a lot of time to feel that. Go with what your gut tells you, three months is a good idea of what you are getting into and what you feel.
Twenty-ten Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 My father introduces me to his girlfriends and their families every time he gets a new one and guess what -- he ALWAYS thinks they are the one so i ALWAYS have to deal with detaching myself from people I have grown close to. Oh I missed this post, very sound words from artchick88. No one will tell you better how this affects children than someone who has been in that situation themselves as a child having to "break up" with dad's gfs too. artchick did you have a mom, or was your dad your sole caregiver? I think this would influence just how much kids attach as well.
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