Women, sex, and dating

[meerkat stew]

Well you don't have to believe it. It doesnt change that its true. I just chalk it up to the guys being to women and the girls being not very attractive at all.

 

Which is where I use your formula of those who can't get it often are absolved from controlling their urges and those that are attractive and can get it anytime they want not being able to use the excuse of not knowing when they will get any next.

 

Whatever, will admit that .01% of men seeking sex are in the typical female situation (as I did already in my early post), and .01% of women seeking sex are in the typical male situation. For .02% of the population, my generalization doesn't apply... ((yawn)).

[meerkat stew]

Well on another thread

 

Link my post in that thread, rest is ignored until then. I try to do people the courtesy of quoting them directly for the most part.

 

Some women sleep with these men because they are goodlooking and they want to have sex with someone "hot", just like men do. Some women aren't trying to make him their bf, they just want to experience sex with him because he looks good. This might surprise you but some women are sleeping with guys just because of their looks, and would never even consider him as bf material.

 

Hahaha, that more women have more casual sex than men today is not surprising in the least. They are having it with the same small percentage of men, and as such, the three points I made earlier in the thread, which have been ignored other than one unreasoned reply and the ridiculous "men have been doing it for hundreds of years" absurdity, apply as far as men's reasonable expectations of women. Will repeat them again, so they can be ignored or twisted further.

 

1. As someone with a very high level of control over sex, don't be a glutton or if you are, don't complain about the various labels of such behavior.

 

2. If someone does engage in casual sex, don't accept money and favors from men when such money and favors are conditioned on an implicit, "old-fashioned" social contract between a gentleman and a lady if you aren't meeting your end of the deal by behaving as a lady.

 

3. Don't waste your prime years ignoring prospects on your level, and instead sleeping with the same 5% of men, then come here and complain in your 30s that there are no good men and expect to be taken seriously.

 

No one expects women to be morally superior to men in sexual conduct. Women have been the traditional gatekeeper of sex in a very factual way that has nothing to do with morality or ethics.

 

The ways that 99% of women and men seek and obtain sex, the social gender limits on sexual activity, is so different that comparisons between the two intended to lump them into the same boat fail miserably.

 

Justifying sexual behavior based on what someone else supposedly did for hundreds of years is absurd on its face, and particularly absurd in light of the historical fact that the behavior that supposedly took place for hundreds of years never actually happened as claimed.

[Ruby Slippers]

This might surprise you but some women are sleeping with guys just because of their looks, and would never even consider him as bf material.

True. For me, it wasn't just looks -- just that is never enough -- but I can't deny that the couple of guys I had one-nighters with were very good-looking.

 

I had a couple of one-nighters in my 20s because I wanted to try it and see what it was like. I was out having a good time, and in each case, a very attractive, fun, confident guy approached, we had a great time all night, and then I had sex with him. In both cases, we danced, bar-hopped, ended up at a late-night restaurant for dinner, then had hot sex purely for fun. It was one enjoyable evening that didn't need to go any further.

 

I had zero desire to pursue anything serious with these men. Both of them asked for my number, and I did not give it to them.

 

I have always been honest with long-term partners about my sexual history, including these experiences, and I have never been judged for it by a boyfriend.

 

The men here who are so worked up into a lather about it have issues, it's clear. No one's going to change their minds. And they will continue to have problems with the ladies because of their anti-female views and behavior.

[sally4sara]

haha, yeah right..

 

I never knew a man in my life that can get laid everytime he tries. Nowhere close. I never met a man in my life who had a woman pull over on the road and ask him if he wants sex.

 

But as a comparison, I was at a friends house who lives on the main street. An obviously retarded girl with a decent body was limping down the main road. Within about 5 minutes, 3 different guys pulled over to try and hit on her. "hey baby, need a ride".. A girl can be fat, handicapped, ugly etc and STILL get laid anytime..

 

It bothers me not at all that you don't run in the same circles of people I do. In fact, I find it comforting and rather telling.

[calazhage]

I would say NOW is the only time in "hundreds of years" that avg men are having so much casual sex.

 

Marriage rates are declining rapidly.. Now which gender traditionally wants to get married?

 

What we will see is more and more women tricked into believing they can wait, have it all, make a list and find some made to order guy, until they hit a certain age and realize they will live an unloved life in which they were used for easy sex.

[Jersey Shortie]

I think you get off on making it seem like all the men of the world are living carefree perfect lives without a thought to anyone but themselves in the world. And that women are living dooms day existances that make them miserable that can only be improved by having a wonderful male in her life.

 

It just isn't that way at all. But I think you get off on trying to make it seem that it is.

 

If men were so happy with the way things were, you and the other guys never would have gravitated here.

[stillafool]

I am gearing this thread to young women who want a husband, love, and a family.

 

This is a good point. I think you should label your threads "For women 20-30 who need help with_______________________. That way, the rest of us won't respond to your threads.

[stillafool]

I think you get off on making it seem like all the men of the world are living carefree perfect lives without a thought to anyone but themselves in the world. And that women are living dooms day existances that make them miserable that can only be improved by having a wonderful male in her life.

 

It just isn't that way at all. But I think you get off on trying to make it seem that it is.

 

If men were so happy with the way things were, you and the other guys never would have gravitated here.

 

 

You are right Jersey. This is how insecure men act and relate to women. I suppose when you have been rejected enough times by desireable females because you are too short, not goodlooking enough, wrong career, etc., it can cause one to become so bitter that the only place they can turn to is a forum to lash out at females they don't know. I pity him. The truth is if his love life were that great he would already be in a commited relationship or married. It seems he needs advice rather than trying to school young females between the ages of 20-30 on how to get a man. I'm sure they could teach him a thing or two about how to catch a mate.

[GoodOnPaper]

Some women sleep with these men because they are goodlooking and they want to have sex with someone "hot", just like men do. Some women aren't trying to make him their bf, they just want to experience sex with him because he looks good. This might surprise you but some women are sleeping with guys just because of their looks, and would never even consider him as bf material.

 

So why go for the "bf material" at all if he can't match up to the "hot" guys?

 

The truth is if his love life were that great he would already be in a commited relationship or married.

 

So the "bf material" guy is good enough for a committed relationship but not for hot sex? I've never been able to get through this philosophical paradox.

 

Anyway, to try and say something on topic, I think it would be great if moving slower physically in dating was more the norm -- being of the "bf material" variety myself, I probably would have navigated through my single life more successfully. However, one must always deal with current reality, and if there is any blame to place about cultural changes, I don't see how it can be put more on one gender over the other.

[calazhage]

I think you get off on making it seem like all the men of the world are living carefree perfect lives without a thought to anyone but themselves in the world. And that women are living dooms day existances that make them miserable that can only be improved by having a wonderful male in her life.

 

.

 

 

Well men do have more options.. Men appreciate with age, women depreciate.

 

If you are 40 and single, do you think you will have your pick of men to marry? Can you just travel to another country if you choose and marry a gorgeous and successful younger man? HAHAHAHA Yeah right..

 

Women are lined up to marry a successful 35-45 yr old man. Not so for women that age..

 

Women thrive on being loved much more so than men. Many women value themselves based on the man they land..

 

Just telling women, if you want to land a good man do not wait to long,hold sex to a high regard, and use other means besides sex to keep that man..

[hollywood undead]

I am in agreement with what Elswyth has been saying.

 

Why do so many men gives themsleves free passes to behave anyway they please when it comes to sex? Why? I mean seriously, I get that men get horny. But that's not justification enough to treat women like they don't matter.

 

If you really want to talk about hypocritical it's critizing women for desiring sex, just like men, and living in a time when they can go out and get it, just like men and holding them up to a higher standard of hormones then you hold yourself.

 

What will you teach your daughter Calaz? That men have "needs" and it's okay for men to treat all other women like recepitcals for their sperm and that it's up to her to be a man's moral gate keeper because a man shouldn't have to control himself because of his "hormones"? Do you like it when women act on their hormones?

 

This is the issue where men pat their son's on the back for sleeping around and teach their sons that it's okay to use women while expecting other men to respect their own daughters. Sorry guys! Doesn't work like that. If you pat your friends or son on the back for sleeping with girls and using them, don't be surprised when a guy comes along and uses your daughter like she was just as worthless.

 

If you want better for your daughters then not only teach your daughters the value in waiting to sleep with a guy but also teach your sons the value in respecting women and holding themselves accountable for their own choices, actions and sexuality when it comes to treating women right. You can't live in a world where you defend how men treat women and say that anything they want to do is Aces and then expect men to respect your own daughter or wife or gf.

 

And this is not something that only affects women. So really, you men shoot yourselves in the foot for your short term pleasure.

 

As for what I would teach my daughter. I would teach her to be independent. To enjoy her sexuality the way she sees fit without having to conform to a mold that men might expect. To do what she needs to do to respect herself, others and have the fun and freedom to explore the world and options that she has at her finger tips. If freedom to her is waiting to have sex, fine. If freedom to her is exploring her sexuality with male partners, fine. As long as she is safe and happy. I would teach her that she isn't a slut just because she has a sex drive.

 

Great post, Jersey!

[Jersey Shortie]

Thanks Hollywood undead! Notice how he ignored this post and didn't answer any of the questoins I asked in turn.

 

Well men do have more options.. Men appreciate with age, women depreciate.

 

Total Bull Honky. Men like *you* tell yourselves that you do out of your own deep rooted insecurities and the desire to *try* and strike women down or guilt/fear them into a life style *you* may want for them but that they may not. Women have more options today. More then ever. And men like *you* don't like it. Notice that I said men like you, certainly not all men.

 

If you are 40 and single, do you think you will have your pick of men to marry? Can you just travel to another country if you choose and marry a gorgeous and successful younger man? HAHAHAHA Yeah right..

 

Oh ridiculous. Most people, man or women aren't traveling to another country to marry anyway. You LS men love to make it sound like your world traverls pulling million dollar salaries.

 

Second, 40 year old men don't have their pick. How do I know? I've heard the things older men say and do. They feel the burdens of age just as women do. THey aren't out there pulling what you define as *better* as much as you like to pretend.

 

Women are lined up to marry a successful 35-45 yr old man. Not so for women that age..

 

35 year old men are quite attractive. I've addressed the comments about 40 year old men above. Big difference between 35 and 40 or even 45. Especially since men's sperm declines in quality starting at age 30.

 

Women thrive on being loved much more so than men. Many women value themselves based on the man they land..

 

Correction. *You* wish and want women to thrive on love more then men and *you* want women to depend their value on their man.

 

If this board alone is any indicator about how men feel about love it is clear that men thrive on it just as much, if not differently, as women.

 

And truth be told, some men also value themselves based on the woman they land. As you've clearly illustrated is true for yourself.

 

You asked questions about how we want to raise our daughters, I commented on them. I asked some of my own questions. WOuld you like to take a stab at answering them or continuing to ignore them? The choice is yours.

[elaina]

Stillafool,

 

As a man I do not NEED sex, nor do any men I know..

 

I have had very attractive and successful male friends who have went 6 months, a year, or even a couple years without sex. I have myself as well.

 

But Stillafool, their great grandmothers were married for 50 years.. Sad reading so many threads about women and men trying to turn FWB's and one night stands into a relationship..Duh, won't work. All they have is some low level, quick and easy substitute(empty sex), while preventing themselves from being truly loved...

 

Hello Calazhage,

 

Good points... sobering, but makes sense.

[harmfulsweetz]

I would personally rather have a less experienced woman than a porn star. How do you think she got so good in bed? And yes, many women might not be worth waiting for in this day and age.

 

Meerkats post is right on..I was laughing when women keep repeating "men did that for centuries.. blah blah blah".. Did what? The main reason men married was to have sex.. It's not like women were giving sex away with no committment "for centuries".. Women being easy is a relatively new development..

 

I am not even sure what women are arguing about.. Do women think the way to keep a man is to sleep with him right away? And if you do, then don't complain if he has others, leaves you, gives you an std, was never into you, etc..

 

 

Bogus. Most men can handle a woman being inexperienced sure, but what if she just is terrible? It's like men, they may have all the experience in the world but still suck at it. To me, being good at sex and equating them to a porn star is ridiculous. It's more about instincts than anything else, doing things you think that person will enjoy, over doing nothing at all for fear of looking too experienced!

 

I agree with the crux of the thread, yes, you shouldn't expect men to buy the cow if you're giving the milk out for free, but then, why should women marry the pig when the sausage is going for free?

 

A man can happily have sex with any number of women and not be called easy? Eh? He's easy then. A nice easy lay. And yes, they are. Men and women have sexual needs, and just because they choose to not ignore those needs, doesn't make them easy, it means they are each getting what they want and need at the time.

 

I absolutely detest the sort of mentality that some men adopt because what casual sex is their god given right, and how dare women want a share?

 

I have had casual sex, ONS etc, it doesn't make me a slut. I don't sleep with every man that comes along, just the ones I'm physically attracted to.

 

Excuse me about the women depreciating as they age? I've seen so many older, beautiful women that I have to disagree. Hello? Jennifer Aniston anyone? Kylie Minogue?

[harmfulsweetz]

True. For me, it wasn't just looks -- just that is never enough -- but I can't deny that the couple of guys I had one-nighters with were very good-looking.

 

I had a couple of one-nighters in my 20s because I wanted to try it and see what it was like. I was out having a good time, and in each case, a very attractive, fun, confident guy approached, we had a great time all night, and then I had sex with him. In both cases, we danced, bar-hopped, ended up at a late-night restaurant for dinner, then had hot sex purely for fun. It was one enjoyable evening that didn't need to go any further.

 

I had zero desire to pursue anything serious with these men. Both of them asked for my number, and I did not give it to them.

 

I have always been honest with long-term partners about my sexual history, including these experiences, and I have never been judged for it by a boyfriend.

 

The men here who are so worked up into a lather about it have issues, it's clear. No one's going to change their minds. And they will continue to have problems with the ladies because of their anti-female views and behavior.

 

great post! Most men who have problems with women having a sexual history which includes ONS etc, are generally more insecure, etc. If a guy I dated, and had a relationship with had a problem with it, I'd be like, 'fair enough, but I'm not for you.'