Women, sex, and dating

[greatgirlfriend]

Hence, I am wary of a man who fertilizes any available egg, then abandons it and its mother to fend for themselves.

 

I hate these men. They are the same ones who treat sex like a sport. They don't wine and dine women.

[calazhage]

I can understand men not exactly being happy about current female/male climates. However, lets be honest with ourselves. Men have been running around for centuries have fun and pegging women into individual boxes based on what they wished women to be. The good little wife and homebody in one box that fullfilled a certain set of needs and the prostutitute or mistress that fit another. Now that more women are pegging men into their own little boxes and doing what men have done for centuries, your unhappy. That's what happens when either gender gets exactly what they ask for.

 

 

 

 

I feel you are `100% wrong..Completely missing the point..

 

All studies show WOMEN are less happy than 30 years ago, and men have stayed the same.

 

What really interests men? Go to the store and look at the magazines geared towards men.. Cars, porn, hunting, sports, etc.. Women magazines? Romance, bridal, hair, make up, loooking good for men,how to be better in bed (Cosmo) etc.

 

The ones getting the short end of the stick are women. When you age and remain unmarried, that man your age can marry younger or foreign. What is so funny is that you think giving men easy sex is making them unhappy, lol.

Edited February 15, 2010 by calazhage

[Jersey Shortie]

I feel you are `100% wrong..Completely missing the point..

 

All studies show WOMEN are less happy than 30 years ago, and men have stayed the same.

 

What really interests men? Go to the store and look at the magazines geared towards men.. Cars, porn, hunting, sports, etc.. Women magazines? Romance, bridal, hair, make up, loooking good for men, etc.

 

The ones getting the short end of the stick are women..What is so funny is that you think giving men easy sex is making them unhappy, lol.

 

What point am I missing? LOL. You have yet to disprove one thing I said.

 

Men have MANY magazines on getting women to like them more, how to look better..how to build muscle...

 

Maybe women are less happy then 30 years ago, you are talking about one study done on a limited context scale that has no point of reference to how women felt 30 years ago and is really just based on today's pressures that women feel. Bit lets say your study is right, which is still debatable, why is it that women are the ones excelling while men have remained the same? Women now out number men in school, women are gaining on better positions in the work force..women are barreling right over men. Do I think that men are happeir today then their fathers? No, I really don't.

 

And I do not think easy sex makes women more happy. But I don't think, as clearly shown in this message board, that easy sex makes men more happy either. I think it makes both sexes happy in the short term. But clearly not in the long. That's why men have really shot themselves in the foot. And maybe women aren't happier. But at least we have more freedom to seek out the same pleasures men have been seeking out for centuries. I do not think there is any woman on this board that would trade in the freedom we have today to be back 30 years ago.

[greatgirlfriend]

I feel you are `100% wrong..Completely missing the point..

 

All studies show WOMEN are less happy than 30 years ago, and men have stayed the same.

 

What really interests men? Go to the store and look at the magazines geared towards men.. Cars, porn, hunting, sports, etc.. Women magazines? Romance, bridal, hair, make up, loooking good for men,how to be better in bed (Cosmo) etc.

 

The ones getting the short end of the stick are women. When you age and remain unmarried, that man your age can marry younger or foreign. What is so funny is that you think giving men easy sex is making them unhappy, lol.

 

So true. The sad thing is as women age, their chances of finding quality men decreases. I think it's disgusting how womens magazines are pushing the view that women only matter by what they look like.

[Awesome Username]

Wow, this thread made me realize that I'm 7 dates in (I just counted...they're casual but they're there!), and I _just_ got that this guy like-likes me. 20 dates seems like a bit much, but man does time fly when you're not paying attention!

[calazhage]

But at least we have more freedom to seek out the same pleasures men have been seeking out for centuries..

 

Pleasures? Many women can't even orgasm without feelings..So I am guessing you have lots of NSA since you can these days and it makes you happy? And who says men in the past were banging lots of women like today? It was not even possible.

 

This is my hypothesis. Women THRIVE on love.. It is vitale that they receive love.

 

Men are quite different, as they thrive on power..

 

So how do women receive this love? By trying to have sex like men? Are women happy when men leave before the condom hits the floor? Does that make them feel good? The difference with men is 2 minutes later they forgot all about it. He came, she didnt, he feels good, she feels used. Thanks. Saved the guy some money on a hooker.

[Woggle]

I don't know about that many dates but I think that both men and women would be better off without just sleeping with everybody like it is nothing. It's not a good idea for men to be careless about sex either. That is how you end up getting sued for back child support for a kid you didn't even know about. Sex is a great thing but constantly using people as a sex toy or being used that way hardens people from both genders.

 

The bigger issue today is that men and women don't even like each other these days and are pretty much using each other for sex. There is no love, affection or any warm feelings in today's dating climate at all. Nothing wrong with sex but bringing back some basic dating and courting would do people some good and as much as they might dent in this thread many women agree by the amount of posts from them lamenting the death of chivalry and gentlemanly behavior. I think that many of these hardened feminists put on thick armor to deal with misogynists like some men on this thread because when you really get them talking they don't seem to like the current state of affairs any more than I do.

[meerkat stew]

Women don't want to be the moral compasses anymore. Men certainly didn't want to be but they held women to a standard that they didn't hold themselves to for generations. You are seeing the backlash of that. Women want to go out and have their own experiences that men have been enjoying for centuries.

 

Just what kinds of experiences that men have been having "for centuries" are you talking about? Only the aristocratic .5% of males was allowed affairs and mistresses, and for every male aristocrat, there was a female doing the exact same thing he was, maybe even more so.

 

The middle class didn't exist, or was a tiny percentage. The lower classes were too cowed by the church and the local powers that be to even THINK about doing as the aristocrats did. So where exactly were these men who philandered for centuries while women sat faithfully at home?

 

They didn't exist.

 

Would be nice for you and the other apologists for the abhorrent sexual behavior of American women in the late 20th century if they did, but sorry, they just didn't exist. A total fabrication.

 

So where does that leave the backlash you describe?

 

Truthfully, neither myself nor any man I know expects women to be some standard bearer of morality or moral compass. What many of us do expect, though, is three-fold.

 

1. Don't be a glutton and expect us to accept that. Women, and a few men, have the choice of being sexual gluttons, due to the ease with which sex is available to them. I'm not a Christian, but still don't want to be with a glutton, as that translates into other areas of life and signals self absorption and impulsiveness also.

 

2. Be consistent in your dating behavior if you expect to benefit from old traditions. Don't spread your legs for three different guys in a week, then change your tune to demure and innocent for the expensive Saturday night dinner with the "real prospect." If you really are a lady in the traditional sense, accept all the meals and favors from men you like. If you aren't though, if you keep FWBs and do ONS, don't accept old-fashioned male patronage unless you really are old-fashioned. That is the height of deception and insincerity, yet so many women think this is their "due" merely because they are female. Not so, it's part of an implicit social contract that you have to live up to to deserve.

 

3. If you want to chase those top 5% guys in income, looks, height, what have you, during your sexual and beauty prime years, and you don't measure up to that top 5% standard yourself, don't have the audacity to complain about being in your 30s and not having any options. You skipped all the realistic options on the way to where you are now while hooking up with the same guy 10 other women were hooking up with. Learn that just because a hot, rich model or celebrity will sleep with you doesn't mean he will keep you around unless you measure up to the same standards he meets in attractiveness.

[CarrieT]

All studies show WOMEN are less happy than 30 years ago, and men have stayed the same.

 

Please substantiate this statement; I would like to see ALL these studies, or even a few such studies. Where are you finding this type of information?

[stillafool]

.

 

These days women are much easier to sleep with, much, much, much harder to actually love .

 

and, to love you back!

[stillafool]

Please substantiate this statement; I would like to see ALL these studies, or even a few such studies. Where are you finding this type of information?

 

Carrie, this is not true. If women are depressed I guarantee it is more married women than single ones. Men obviously are the ones experiencing depression because they are now worrying about women having too much sex. Did you ever think you would ever hear of such a thing? (Men who don't want women to have a sex drive?)

[CarrieT]

Carrie, this is not true. If women are depressed I guarantee it is more married women than single ones. Men obviously are the ones experiencing depression because they are now worrying about women having too much sex. Did you ever think you would ever hear of such a thing? (Men who don't want women to have a sex drive?)

 

That is my belief as well. I believe the OP is citing "all these studies" without having scientific data to quantify his argument. I think he is just making blanket statements on his distorted views of society and trying to quantify those statements with "studies" that don't actually exist.

[stillafool]

Just what kinds of experiences that men have been having "for centuries" are you talking about?

 

 

How about these below:

 

1. Don't be a glutton and expect us to accept that. Women, and a few men, have the choice of being sexual gluttons, due to the ease with which sex is available to them. I'm not a Christian, but still don't want to be with a glutton, as that translates into other areas of life and signals self absorption and impulsiveness also.

 

2. Be consistent in your dating behavior if you expect to benefit from old traditions. Don't spread your legs for three different guys in a week, then change your tune to demure and innocent for the expensive Saturday night dinner with the "real prospect." If you really are a lady in the traditional sense, accept all the meals and favors from men you like. If you aren't though, if you keep FWBs and do ONS, don't accept old-fashioned male patronage unless you really are old-fashioned. That is the height of deception and insincerity, yet so many women think this is their "due" merely because they are female. Not so, it's part of an implicit social contract that you have to live up to to deserve.

 

3. If you want to chase those top 5% guys in income, looks, height, what have you, during your sexual and beauty prime years, and you don't measure up to that top 5% standard yourself, don't have the audacity to complain about being in your 30s and not having any options. You skipped all the realistic options on the way to where you are now while hooking up with the same guy 10 other women were hooking up with. Learn that just because a hot, rich model or celebrity will sleep with you doesn't mean he will keep you around unless you measure up to the same standards he meets in attractiveness.

 

Everything you describe above is what men have done for centuries. Just change the word (women) to (men) and it applies. Why aren't you addressing them about their destructive ways? Why are you trying to change women? What do you know about women? What country is your wife from?

[stillafool]

Pleasures? Many women can't even orgasm without feelings..

 

Ha! Have you read the "how many women masturbate" thread? I don't think women are having any problems having orgasms. Sorry!

 

This is my hypothesis. Women THRIVE on love.. It is vitale that they receive love.

 

No, you men don't need love. That's why so many men come to LS crying about getting back their gfs and wives. Why do men complain that women don't want a relationship with them if they don't care about love?

 

So how do women receive this love? By trying to have sex like men? Are women happy when men leave before the condom hits the floor? Does that make them feel good? The difference with men is 2 minutes later they forgot all about it. He came, she didnt, he feels good, she feels used. Thanks. Saved the guy some money on a hooker.

 

Women are not trying to have sex like men. They are trying to have sex like they want it. Can't you get this through your head?

[Johnny M]

Sex is best with a woman you love..

Not necessarily.

 

I never had sex with a woman I really liked and somehow the sex was just awful. How is that even possible?

How is it possible? Well what if she just lies there a log? Or would that be accpetbale to you provided you were "in love"?

 

If the woman is worth it, men will wait.

Speak for yourself. I've never met a woman who was worth waiting for as long as you are proposing.

[calazhage]

Not necessarily.

 

 

How is it possible? Well what if she just lies there a log? Or would that be accpetbale to you provided you were "in love"?

 

 

Speak for yourself. I've never met a woman who was worth waiting for as long as you are proposing.

 

 

I would personally rather have a less experienced woman than a porn star. How do you think she got so good in bed? And yes, many women might not be worth waiting for in this day and age.

 

Meerkats post is right on..I was laughing when women keep repeating "men did that for centuries.. blah blah blah".. Did what? The main reason men married was to have sex.. It's not like women were giving sex away with no committment "for centuries".. Women being easy is a relatively new development..

 

I am not even sure what women are arguing about.. Do women think the way to keep a man is to sleep with him right away? And if you do, then don't complain if he has others, leaves you, gives you an std, was never into you, etc..

[stillafool]

IMeerkats post is right on..I was laughing when women keep repeating "men did that for centuries.. blah blah blah".. Did what? The main reason men married was to have sex.. It's not like women were giving sex away with no committment "for centuries".. Women being easy is a relatively new development..

 

Now they don't have to worry about that anymore. So why do they still marry?

[You'reasian]

I would personally rather have a less experienced woman than a porn star. How do you think she got so good in bed? And yes, many women might not be worth waiting for in this day and age.

 

Meerkats post is right on..I was laughing when women keep repeating "men did that for centuries.. blah blah blah".. Did what? The main reason men married was to have sex.. It's not like women were giving sex away with no committment "for centuries".. Women being easy is a relatively new development..

 

I am not even sure what women are arguing about.. Do women think the way to keep a man is to sleep with him right away? And if you do, then don't complain if he has others, leaves you, gives you an std, was never into you, etc..

 

JS is the LS 70's feminist lol

[Woggle]

JS is the female version of me.

[Johnny M]

I would personally rather have a less experienced woman than a porn star. How do you think she got so good in bed? And yes, many women might not be worth waiting for in this day and age.

Experience has nothing to do with it. Some women just have a low sex drive. Just ask all the married men who have sex twice a year (if they're lucky) and spend the rest of time jerking off.

 

I am not even sure what women are arguing about.. Do women think the way to keep a man is to sleep with him right away? And if you do, then don't complain if he has others, leaves you, gives you an std, was never into you, etc..

To suggest that abstaining from sex for a long period of time would somehow help a woman keep a man is absurd. Such ploy might work for a while if she continues misleading and manipulating the guy by letting him think that she would be ready to give it up soon, but not quite yet....If a woman is straightforward and honest and tells the guy that she doesn't have sex until the 25th date, 95% of men would bail and only the most desperate would still be even remotely interested.

 

Physical intimacy is a perfectly natural expression of human affection. People who make a huge deal out of sex are usually either playing games or have psychological issues. Yes, STDs are a concern - that's why you use protection at first and later insist on seeing his/her test results.

[calazhage]

Physical intimacy is a perfectly natural expression of human affection. People who make a huge deal out of sex are usually either playing games or have psychological issues. Yes, STDs are a concern - that's why you use protection at first and later insist on seeing his/her test results.

.

 

Sex is an expression of lust. Do men really feel affection for hookers?

 

What type of woman would you rather fall in love with? A 30 yr old single woman who had sex with 75-100 guys because she felt affection? Or a woman who slept with 4 or 5 because she does not need to have casual sex?

 

Or are you thinking that woman who sleeps with you on the first date or 2 is only doing that because you are so special, and have this amazing connection?

 

Sex without love typically becomes boring after a couple months..The women putting out early typically are the neediest of all. They need that attention/affection so badly they will do it with anyone, without even knowing them well at all.

[meerkat stew]

Everything you describe above is what men have done for centuries. Just change the word (women) to (men) and it applies. Why aren't you addressing them about their destructive ways? Why are you trying to change women? What do you know about women? What country is your wife from?

 

How about stop with the "men have done for centuries" stuff until you can back it up with historical facts. Most of our historical entertainment and even academic treatment centers on what a very few privileged people did in history, and of those aristocrats, women did whatever just as much as men did. For the vast majority of the rest of the human race, infidelity was not an option.

 

Moreover, the title of this thread is "women, sex and dating," not "men, sex and dating."

 

For almost all men, sexual gluttony is not even an option. Men don't know which of their efforts to gets sex will pay off. A vast majority of women can be assured that almost all their efforts to get sex will pay off. See the difference? A man who gets lucky in his advances three or even ten times in a row is not a glutton, just a guy who got lucky and who will likely face a dry spell at some time in the future, despite his efforts. The term "dry spell" doesn't apply to a woman, who has very significant control over when and with whom she will have sex. In order for gluttony to be possible, some control must exist.

 

For almost all men, accepting money and favors from female suitors is not even relevant, as women don't generally pay for early dates. Men do.

 

Men pursue a variety of women, and will take what he can get. Women tend to want the same men, and will continue pursuit or sleeping with those few men thinking they can have him. The realization that there are not enough top 5%ers to go around seems to sink in much earlier for men than women.

 

So what exactly of my earlier post are what men generally do? Nada, nothing.

[Mr White]

How about stop with the "men have done for centuries" stuff until you can back it up with historical facts. Most of our historical entertainment and even academic treatment centers on what a very few privileged people did in history, and of those aristocrats, women did whatever just as much as men did. For the vast majority of the rest of the human race, infidelity was not an option.

 

Moreover, the title of this thread is "women, sex and dating," not "men, sex and dating."

 

For almost all men, sexual gluttony is not even an option. Men don't know which of their efforts to gets sex will pay off. A vast majority of women can be assured that almost all their efforts to get sex will pay off. See the difference? A man who gets lucky in his advances three or even ten times in a row is not a glutton, just a guy who got lucky and who will likely face a dry spell at some time in the future, despite his efforts. The term "dry spell" doesn't apply to a woman, who has very significant control over when and with whom she will have sex. In order for gluttony to be possible, some control must exist.

 

For almost all men, accepting money and favors from female suitors is not even relevant, as women don't generally pay for early dates. Men do.

 

Men pursue a variety of women, and will take what he can get. Women tend to want the same men, and will continue pursuit or sleeping with those few men thinking they can have him. The realization that there are not enough top 5%ers to go around seems to sink in much earlier for men than women.

 

So what exactly of my earlier post are what men generally do? Nada, nothing.

 

 

"Men have been doing it for centuries"

 

Even if this was true (which it is not) how does that entitle you to behave like skanks? It is the same as saying that just because we had slavery we need to hand lots of free stuff to lazy black people, or just because the 9/11 terrorist attacks happened, we should abandon all our civilized laws and resort to running our legals system by the same barbaric rules the Muslim extremist terrorists treat innocent civilians. Etc.

 

Well, here's the thing - a skank is a skank is a skank no matter the historical context, and a decent guy is a decent guy is a decent guy no matter the historical context. Looking for excuses for bad behavior is the ultimate in skankiness.

[Els]

It takes two people to have sex after one date.

 

Unless the woman blackmailed you, coerced you, or raped you, you were as 'easy' as she was that night.

 

Stop pushing the blame around. If you want women who wait, instead of railing here about it, simply tell the woman you're with that you want sex to be special, andthat you want to wait. Then the women who are in for quick sex would be out of your life, and the women who want to wait would stay.

 

QED, no?

[Johnny M]

Sex is an expression of lust. Do men really feel affection for hookers?

Lust, affection, call it whatever you want, it's still perfectly normal and healthy.

 

What type of woman would you rather fall in love with? A 30 yr old single woman who had sex with 75-100 guys because she felt affection? Or a woman who slept with 4 or 5 because she does not need to have casual sex?

Well, if those were the only two women left on earth, and if we were to assume that the second one also dated 75-100 guys (to make it a fair comparison) but only slept with 4-5 of them, I'd go for the first one, no doubt about it (provided she cleared the std tests). However, in the real world, I wouldn't be interested in either. Being involved with 75-100 men by the time you're 30 is ridiculous, regardless of whether sex took place.

Edited February 16, 2010 by Johnny M