I am the worst person ever...

[inlovewithboss]

I had an affair with my boss.....I was married, so was he. I knew he had a history of infidelity. I pursued him. I was caught, doesn't matter how. Husband filed for divorce, children hate me.....He is still with his wife....I think I actually need to see my story in writing in order to really believe it is happening. We both said we loved each other. He has children as well. Tells me to be patient, my divorce is going through. We are both lonely, selfish people, we've had discussions related to this fact.

 

We have had a lot of discussions about what we're doing. We don't stop seeing each other in light of all this. We agree we won't stop seeing each other. There were no promises made, noone agreed to leave spouses, leave families, not one promise. Yes, some talk of future, nothing concrete. I want to push on with my life no matter what, he is like a addicting force. We are both aware of the lies, pain, we are causing, still see each other.

 

We are both the same type of person, selfish, we feel we are lonely, so it's alright to continue, we were not happy in current relationships, if I did not get caught, I would probably still be with spouse, stayed married more or less for the sake of the kids, too afraid to leave, did not want to hurt anyone. Instead have destroyed everyone that is important to me, kids, in laws, extended family. Feel like all I have is him, he is aware that my soon to be ex knows I've had an affair, but still chooses to stay and help me, he has ulterior motives, I'm sure. If this were happening to a friend, I would tell her she was a fool.

 

It is easier to give advice, not being in a situation. I never in a million years thought I would do something like this. I love being in his company, he is intelligent, funny, great conversationist. He challenges me to think. What does he want from me? He tells me to just love him, he wants nothing else. Obviously, self confidence is almost non existent for both he and I. Maybe this is the person I have always been, underneath. I want to protect him, take care of him, he is the most complicated human being I have EVER met. But I find myself drawn to him like no other.

 

When I worked for him, nothing innapropriate happened, nothing did until after I left. I made the first move, I told him how I felt. We went for a drive, we kissed, we made love. I have never experienced sex in the way he gave and received it. I have never felt like a sexual human being, not ashamed of my body, desirable, sexy. erotic. I've discovered I enjoy sex, I never did in my relationship with my husband, it was always, "turn over" and take it. It was a job, no passion, no love. A requirement every three days, and if not delivered, would not speak to me, would treat me badly, be short with me. After having lousy sex, he would feel satisfied. Ironically, soon to be ex has signed up with a website that is for married people to meet and have sex. That's all it was with him, satisfy him, place yourself second, third after kids. Marriage is hard, I was faithfull for 25 years. I took this for myself, never thinking I would develop significant feelings for the worst possible person for me. We are both broken people, no moral compass. I do not believe in sexual addiction. It's an attraction, you enjoy the persuit, the conquest, fast furious sexual appetite.

 

Going to get help for sexual addiction is BS, true addiction would mean you'd have no control over your actions, would you have the understanding of what were to happen if caught? Cheaters are thrill seekers, non thinkers, with agendas that serve themselves, only......They are pompous, egotistical, liars that make BS excuses to justify actions. We are cowards, afraid to tell truths, because we know no truths, we have lied so much. We know the chance of being caught is real, but never think we will be. We are liars, and usually good ones.

 

We can keep a straight face, don't like confrontations, when they arise, we usually run..We are gutless......We are never happy people, we like to think we are, but that is not the case. We lack self worth which is why we seek acceptance from others, we flatter easily from members of the opposite sex. We are usually attracted to many people and develop feelings for many, but may not act upon them, but become obsessed with some of them..... Let me repeat, we are not happy people.....we usually never will be....We are never satisfied,,,,,

Edited February 16, 2010 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Chrome Barracuda]

...You know the relationship with the boss isnt going anywhere, so why are you banging your head against the wall?

 

You need professional help. Dont blame anything more on your husband because the MM is using you too in his own ways.

 

You need help. Period!

[on1wheel]

Thank U so much for your honest admission of yourself. I had my W have an A a little over 2 yrs ago & have never understood why she would have done it.

We had a baby @ home & she had swore she would never cheat on me no matter what; we had both agreed pre-marriage to just leave if either felt we had to be with someone else.

She also knew that I had 2 issues of betrayl in my past, so she knew what it would do to me. But none of that mattered, as she did it anyway; also with a co-worker. I am a logical person & someone that believes "you should never gamble that which you can not afford to lose".

I have been on LS for a couple of months & yours was the 1st open & honest post that gave me some insight into the mind of a cheater...thank you for that. While I don't think you ended up any happier than you were before, I guess you just had to try. Do you think you would be happy if you & the OM ended up together?

Affairs are not part of the "real world", that is why they seem unreal. There are kids to pick up, bills to pay, cleaning to do or any of the other things that happen in everyday life. It seems that often times people even change who they are as a person. Someone that is normally shy is suddenly re-invented as a no inhibitions

sexaholic for example. I agree with you that most think they'll never be caught, although the reality is that most are...I caught my W. What troubles me is that I have read so many stories like yours; where someones selfishness has destroyed yet another innocent family. Again & again it happens. I had no idea there were this many self absorbed people

in the world.

I guess I wonder why selfish people even get married? They must know that they are & they have likely always been cheaters...so why ruin someone elses life? Why have children only to sentence them to be from a broken home? Finally, was it worth it in the end? Would you do it again if you could do it over?

I do wish you happiness btw; we all deserve it.

[RedDevil66]

ICheaters are thrill seekers, non thinkers, with agendas that serve themselves, only......They are pompous, egotistcal, liars that make BS excuses to justify actions. We are cowards, afraid to tell truths, because we know no truths, we have lied so much. We know the chance of being caught is real, but never think we will be. We are liars, and usually good ones. We can keep a straight face, don't like confrontations, when they arise, we usually run..We are gutless......We are never happy people, we like to think we are, but that is not the case. We lack self worth which is why we seek acceptance from others, we flatter easily from members of the opposite sex. We are usually attracted to many people and develop feelings for many, but may not act upon them, but become obsessed with some of them..... Let me repeat, we are not happy people.....we usually never will be....We are never satisfied,,,,,

 

I could not agree more.

You can also add, empty. I was empty when I was cheating with a married guy.

I wish more cheaters would see this, but denial is a survival mechanism and it takes a strong and courageous person to admit they are broken.

 

Everyone can be fixed if they can admit their shortcomings.

 

I respect your honesty

[bestplayer]

I had an affair with my boss.....I was married, so was he. I knew he had a history of infidelity. I persued him. I was caught, does'nt matter how. Husband filed for divorce, children hate me.....He is still with his wife....I think I actually need to see my story in writing in order to really believe it is happening. We both said we loved each other. He has children as well. Tells me to be patient, my divorce is going through. We are both lonely, selfish people, we've had discussions related to this fact. We have had a lot of discussions about what we're doing. We don't stop seeing each other in light of all this. We agree we won't stop seeing each other. There were no promises made, noone agreed to leave spouses, leave families, not one promise. Yes, some talk of future, nothing concrete. I want to push on with my life no matter what, he is like a addicting force. We are both aware of the lies, pain, we are causing, still see each other. We are both the same type of person, selfish, we feel we are lonely, so it's allright to continue, we were not happy in current relationships, if I did not get caught, I would probably still be with spouse, stayed married more or less for the sake of the kids, too afraid to leave, did not want to hurt anyone. Instead have destroyed everyone that is important to me, kids, inlaws, extended family. Feel like all I have is him, he is aware that my soon to be ex knows I've had an affair, but still choses to stay and help me, he has ulterior motives, I'm sure. If this were happening to a friend, I would tell her she was a fool. It is easier to give advice, not being in a situation. I never in a million years thought I would do something like this. I love being in his company, he is intelligent, funny, great conversationist. He challenges me to think. What does he want from me? He tells me to just love him, he wants nothing else. Obviously, self confidence is almost non existent for both he and I. Maybe this is the person I have always been, underneath. I want to protect him, take care of him, he is the most complicated human being I have EVER met. But I find myself drawn to him like no other. When I worked for him, nothing innapropriate happened, nothing did until after I left. I made the first move, I told him how I felt. We went for a drive, we kissed, we made love. I have never experienced sex in the way he gave and received it. I have never felt like a sexual human being, not ashamed of my body, desirable, sexy. erotic. I've discovered I enjoy sex, I never did in my relationship with my husband, it was always, "turn over" and take it. It was a job, no passion, no love. A requirement every three days, and if not delivered, would not speak to me, would treat me badly, be short with me. After having lousy sex, he would feel satisfied. Ironically, soon to be ex has signed up with a website that is for married people to meet and have sex. That's all it was with him, satisfy him, place yourself second, third after kids. Marriage is hard, I was faithfull for 25 years. I took this for myself, never thinking I would develop significant feelings for the worst possible person for me. We are both broken people, no moral compass. I do not beleive in sexual addiction. It's an attraction, you enjoy the persuit, the conquest, fast furious sexual appetite. Going to get help for sexual addiction is BS, true addiction would mean you'd have no control over your actions, would you have the understanding of what were to happen if caught? Cheaters are thrill seekers, non thinkers, with agendas that serve themselves, only......They are pompous, egotistcal, liars that make BS excuses to justify actions. We are cowards, afraid to tell truths, because we know no truths, we have lied so much. We know the chance of being caught is real, but never think we will be. We are liars, and usually good ones. We can keep a straight face, don't like confrontations, when they arise, we usually run..We are gutless......We are never happy people, we like to think we are, but that is not the case. We lack self worth which is why we seek acceptance from others, we flatter easily from members of the opposite sex. We are usually attracted to many people and develop feelings for many, but may not act upon them, but become obsessed with some of them..... Let me repeat, we are not happy people.....we usually never will be....We are never satisfied,,,,,

 

well my question is why u feel lonely & not happy when u r still with the person u r attracted to ? didn't u say u care for him ?

[BlueeyedJonesy]

well my question is why u feel lonely & not happy when u r still with the person u r attracted to ? didn't u say u care for him ?

 

Because attraction doesn't mean you love someone..sex..lust..none of them mean you are meant to be..something is missing inside of you if you think that.

[Dexter Morgan]

...You know the relationship with the boss isnt going anywhere, so why are you banging your head against the wall?

 

You need professional help. Dont blame anything more on your husband because the MM is using you too in his own ways.

 

You need help. Period!

 

yes, she does.

 

and she almost had me feeling sorry for her..of all people, Dexter feeling sorry for a cheater....until she started in blaming her husband.

[inlovewithboss]

I suppose I should clarify some things, I don't blame my husband for my affair... I made the choices that have put me into my own situation. Noone forced me to do anything... What I do hold my husband accountable for is lack of communication, being friends with our children instead of being a father, treating intimacy as a joke, we were both selfish and did not respect each other. He was NOT the cause of my affair. I was the cause of my affair...You take people for granted in your life, you lose sight of what you loved about that person in the first place. You read about how you can get back in love with someone that you've learned to take for granted. That is not as easy as it seems. Marriage is work, both partners are responsible for keeping that alive. When you feel as though that is no longer the focus of your marriage, you begin to check out emotionally. What I regret the most is not being honest with my husband, not being honest with myself....My children have suffered the most, they are in therapy, my husband had tried to protect the chldren by keeping them away from me. He filed for divorce the day after he found out about the affair. He changed the locks on my house, put my clothes into garbage bags on the front stoop. We had to go to court in order for me to be able to see my children.....I have made very big mistakes and decisions that have cut deeply into the lives of our kids, however, keeping them from me was not what they needed. Telling them every aspect of what happened and that mommy had an affair with her boss, even posting pictures of my boss on his facebook page....I've made mistakes, I did NOT stop loving my children.....He was not to blame for me having an affair,,,,I was....My husband is telling anyone that will listen that I had an affair with my boss, including my children....Being hurt can cause you to feel you need to destroy the other person, feelings of revenge....He had me followed, placed a GPS device on my car, has threatened my boss and called his wife to just hang up on her repeatedly.......I do not feel sorry for myself, I do not seek pity....If you want an insight into the mind of someone whom has cheated, here goes:

Cheaters have low self esteem, no matter how confident they seem.

They are selfish, they are restless for things to change in their lives, and do not tend to follow through on things.

They have a tendency to be procrastinators, talkers, not always dooers.

Even when they are in positions of power, they feel powerless in their own skin, it's a facade... the more power they have, less guts.

They are very good liars, they may be great troubleshooters, but that only helps them in the lying.

They convince themselves they will not get caught, they can't. They make up excuses as to why they have cheated, they justify actions to suit what suits them..

Women tend to fall for their lovers, men mostly do not. Women are looking for attention, to be desired, lusted over....It doesn't matter if their husband tells them every day they are beautiful, it's exciting to be persued.

Men will tell you what you want to hear, although this may not apply to every man....Some do fall in love with their lovers....I've known quite a few friends that have married their lovers and have been married for many years.

Most people that cheat think they are looking for elusive happiness, and never find it.....because it doesn't exsist, you have to make your own happiness.

This is from my own personal experience and does not apply to everyone that has had an affair...Some people do it just for the fun of it and because they keep getting away with it. I will anwer any questions any one wants to ask, and will answer as honestly as I can.

[inlovewithboss]

Thank U so much for your honest admission of yourself. I had my W have an A a little over 2 yrs ago & have never understood why she would have done it.

We had a baby @ home & she had swore she would never cheat on me no matter what; we had both agreed pre-marriage to just leave if either felt we had to be with someone else.

She also knew that I had 2 issues of betrayl in my past, so she knew what it would do to me. But none of that mattered, as she did it anyway; also with a co-worker. I am a logical person & someone that believes "you should never gamble that which you can not afford to lose".

I have been on LS for a couple of months & yours was the 1st open & honest post that gave me some insight into the mind of a cheater...thank you for that. While I don't think you ended up any happier than you were before, I guess you just had to try. Do you think you would be happy if you & the OM ended up together?

Affairs are not part of the "real world", that is why they seem unreal. There are kids to pick up, bills to pay, cleaning to do or any of the other things that happen in everyday life. It seems that often times people even change who they are as a person. Someone that is normally shy is suddenly re-invented as a no inhibitions

sexaholic for example. I agree with you that most think they'll never be caught, although the reality is that most are...I caught my W. What troubles me is that I have read so many stories like yours; where someones selfishness has destroyed yet another innocent family. Again & again it happens. I had no idea there were this many self absorbed people

in the world.

I guess I wonder why selfish people even get married? They must know that they are & they have likely always been cheaters...so why ruin someone elses life? Why have children only to sentence them to be from a broken home? Finally, was it worth it in the end? Would you do it again if you could do it over?

I do wish you happiness btw; we all deserve it.

 

 

You were not to blame for her cheating, period.....Cheaters are naive to think they will not hurt anyone, because they think they will get away with it...They do not do everything with malice, they are just selfish, self absorbed people, they have always been, just they may not have known it either. I had been attracted to many people in my life, most people are attracted to others, it's human nature....I would have never thought I would have done this....I never understood how someone could do this to another person, I always thought you should end a relationship of you were not happy. I did not have to cheat, every step I took in that direction, I was always knew what I was doing was wrong, from day one.....but still did it. Cheating was never about you, it was about her....you are a worthy person, deserving of being loved, do not give up on that, ever.....Cheating is rampant, out of control, but not everyone is one....He will probably cheat on me, if he hasnt already...I am not in this blindly. I'm not looking at this through rose colored glasses....I am probably using him as much as he is using me, which makes us deserving of each other....She will never find what she's looking for, she already had it in you.

[SoulStorm]

You should change your screen name. You know full well what you and your boss have is not love and you are not in love with him.

You can accurately describe the attributes of a cheater, do you not know that calling yourself "inlovewithboss" is both delusional and distasteful and demeans who you are?

Or was that your intention?

[Bryanp]

I think you show great insight with your postings. I am sorry for you that you have made such a tragic mistake and had your life virtually taken away from you. I think you show great remorse. You certainly have my sympathy. Is there any way you could make an attempt to be back with your husband or is he simply unwilling which is his right.

[inlovewithboss]

You should change your screen name. You know full well what you and your boss have is not love and you are not in love with him.

You can accurately describe the attributes of a cheater, do you not know that calling yourself "inlovewithboss" is both delusional and distasteful and demeans who you are?

Or was that your intention?

 

 

I understand what you are saying, but I think I will keep it, it is a representation of my life and experience, although it may be a misinterpretation of whom I am, it is a part of a time in my life, it doesn't demean me, it says a lot about women who cheat on their spouses. That's what they think, that they are in love.

[inlovewithboss]

I think you show great insight with your postings. I am sorry for you that you have made such a tragic mistake and had your life virtually taken away from you. I think you show great remorse. You certainly have my sympathy. Is there any way you could make an attempt to be back with your husband or is he simply unwilling which is his right.

 

 

He does not want to be with me, rightly so.. I would be doing him an injustice if I were to go back, I don't feel that I've been in love with him for a very long time...He deserves more......

[inlovewithboss]

He is also seeing someone, he has a membership to a website that promotes married couples to meet and have an affair, ironic isn't it? I can't say the site, but the initials are AM. In the case of my marriage, there were many issues that were there long before any of this happened, however, he was not to blame for my ultimate cheating.....

 

Cheating is loosely based in fantasy, let's not forget that....you fantasize about other people, fantasies are better left in your head.....they are not worth the price you end up paying....

[JaneInVegas]

InLoveWithBoss, you are NOT the worse possible person, you just got caught up in something you shouldn't have.

 

Except for my ex-boss being childless, my story was almost a carbon copy of yours. It didn't end up well - they divorced - we divorced - he's with someone else, and so am I.

 

This is not going to end well for you, I promise.

 

You need to re-evaluate your life and figure out what your priorities are and work towards that end. Stop beating yourself up for making mistakes. This board is full of people who have made mistakes, you're not the first, certainly not the last. But LEARN from your mistakes, and figure out what you need to do, for yourself but most importantly your kids.

 

Good luck sweetie, I hope everything works out well for you. HUGS

[inlovewithboss]

Thank you, I appreciate sharing your experience with me, I feel that this will not end well, we actually talk a lot about it, my boss and I. We have lots of talks about things that apply to what we have done....

[Chrome Barracuda]

If you know this is bad why are you continuing, why dont you make yourself better? What happens if your reported to higher ups or if this affair starts ruining morale in the company you work for, your gonna come out looking worse than what you are now.

 

Why the hell are you torturing yourself. Talking with him isnt gonna change anything. it's only prolonging the inevitable.

 

Why dont you work on yourself without him in the picture. instead of continuing the affair? WTF is wrong with you?

[bestplayer]

Because attraction doesn't mean you love someone..sex..lust..none of them mean you are meant to be..something is missing inside of you if you think that.

 

I think she did say that she had feelings for MM & she wasn't in love with her husband , so its strange when she says she's not happy to be with her MM . It sounds like maybe she's trying look like a victim but in reality its only her husband that might be suffering .

[Samantha0905]

He does not want to be with me, rightly so.. I would be doing him an injustice if I were to go back, I don't feel that I've been in love with him for a very long time...He deserves more......

 

I didn't think at all you were blaming your husband. It's a common theme here if you admit to an affair, say it was a wrong choice and then go on to share what was going on with you and your marriage to describe the situation -- some people say you are blaming your spouse. You are correct, it takes two people to make a successful marriage.

 

I think you deserve more -- not just your husband. It will be difficult to move on with your life if you continue to see your AP. Some counseling may help you. You need to learn to love yourself. If you do, perhaps you will meet someone you can share yourself with in a healthy manner. I'm sorry about the pain caused to your family. As time goes by, hopefully, people will heal -- including yourself.

[karnak]

No, you're not the worst person ever. But you're a very selfish woman. And selfishness only destroys people and relationships.

Selfishness (not Hate) is the real opposite of Love (which is all about altruism, I think). So, I guess you really never loved your husband, to begin with.

 

But it takes a lot of courage for you to step up and admit your flaws. Specially in a place such as LS, where there're so many people who suffered horribly because of selfish actions such as yours.

 

Personnally, I think your selfishness is a major character flaw. And one you really have to vanquish if you want to become a better person and be truly happy.

 

Accept your flaws and mistakes (everyone has theirs, me included) and honestly apologise to those you have wronged. And try to correct your mistakes. And like one guy used to say: "go, and sin no more".

 

If you really try to change and become a better person, you'll begin to love yourself and later really love someone else (I honestly think you never loved anyone in your entire life).

 

PEACE

[jnj express]

Hey InLove----OK, you have put yourself down, and ripped yourself up---now give us your thoughts on the future. I assume your H. will follow thru with a divorce. Will you battle him on assets, will you battle him as to child custody.

 

I also am willing to bet your lover the boss will not leave his wife. How long do you intend to stay in that situation, where you spend your holidays alone and lonely????

 

Will you eventually look for an unmarried man. What will you do for companionship after you finally end it with the boss?? Will you just go thru a series of ONS, not even knowing who you are in bed with each morning, or will you try to find a new relationship, and if so what will you be looking for??

[inlovewithboss]

As far as what the future holds, I don't really know. The divorce is going through, no reconciliation. My primary focus is on my children, figuring out what the purpose of my life is to be now. I have destroyed lives, ruined friendships, confused many people that thought they knew me. Before I had an affair, I never understood how a person could do this to another person. I could not get my thoughts around it. I never thought I was this person.

 

I do not like myself for what I've done, nor do I condone any of my behaviors. I do not think my affair will ever leave his wife, I never did. Sometimes, I'm not even sure that would be what I would want any way. It's easy to call someone that has had an affair selfish, because a lot of their actions are based in that.

 

However, it doesn't mean they are bad people. To group everyone that has had an affair into one category is unfair, there are many intricate elements involved with everyone's story. It is never okay to hurt someone in this way, ever. What you do to that person is life changing, you are hurting someone beyond reason, in a way you will never understand. That's where selfishness comes into play. My advice would be this to anyone even considering having an affair,,,,

 

Don't do it, if you are unhappy, either get counseling, or get out! I can blame my soon to be ex for a lot of things, but he did not force me to be with another man. That was a choice of my own, and I will deserve whatever happens to me from this point on. When you're having an affair, you foolishly think you are in control, well, that is a joke, you can't control chaos, only possibly slow down the spiral of your life going down the toilet.

 

If you're having an affair now, just because you can justify it in order to continue it, it is not justifiable. You're hurting people, and they don't even know it yet. You're lying, you're going to hurt people and yourself. The anguish you feel when you know you've hurt the people that matter most, is not worth the brief time you are with that person. The look of guilt is in your eyes, they see it, they know it, you're a fool to think otherwise.

 

Stop it now.......tell the truth, get counseling if you both want to work it out. If not, stop what you are doing and get help for yourself, I had actually thought of at one point to tell my husband that I had feelings for another man, I thought it would be easier to tell the truth and deal with the consequences. I wish that I had. It would have hurt, but not like this......

 

Truth is always better, no matter what. Lying only makes you a liar, you're not protecting anyone by doing that, you're only avoiding the eventual imploding of your life.

[mmlf1988]

I can sense your remorse for what you have done. You feel that you are going to lose your marriage, your family, and your children. You realize that even though the affair was so facinating in the beginning, the end is so bitter. You have suffered so much pains because of this affair. But you are not suffering alone.

 

There is your husband who thought that he would spend his life with one woman, but now no more. All these years he tried to build up a family, yet all the efforts seem undone. For the rest of his life, he will feel the pain of betrayal. Then there are your children, who witnessed the broken bond between mom and dad, would wonder if it is really their faults. Falling in love is between two people, but getting an affair involves two families and many of their members at the end.

 

Do you still have feeling to the other man? If that man indeed divorces and comes to ask you to marry him, will your heart be fluttered? Be honest to yourself on this aspect.

 

Or now you realize that your husband and your children should be your anchor all this time. What effort would you make to get back?

 

Or you think just to start a new page in life?

[bestplayer]

As far as what the future holds, I don't really know. The divorce is going through, no reconciliation. My primary focus is on my children, figuring out what the purpose of my life is to be now. I have destroyed lives, ruined friendships, confused many people that thought they knew me. Before I had an affair, I never understood how a person could do this to another person. I could not get my thoughts around it. I never thought I was this person.

 

I do not like myself for what I've done, nor do I condone any of my behaviors. I do not think my affair will ever leave his wife, I never did. Sometimes, I'm not even sure that would be what I would want any way. It's easy to call someone that has had an affair selfish, because a lot of their actions are based in that.

 

However, it doesn't mean they are bad people. To group everyone that has had an affair into one category is unfair, there are many intricate elements involved with everyone's story. It is never okay to hurt someone in this way, ever. What you do to that person is life changing, you are hurting someone beyond reason, in a way you will never understand. That's where selfishness comes into play. My advice would be this to anyone even considering having an affair,,,,

 

Don't do it, if you are unhappy, either get counseling, or get out! I can blame my soon to be ex for a lot of things, but he did not force me to be with another man. That was a choice of my own, and I will deserve whatever happens to me from this point on. When you're having an affair, you foolishly think you are in control, well, that is a joke, you can't control chaos, only possibly slow down the spiral of your life going down the toilet.

 

If you're having an affair now, just because you can justify it in order to continue it, it is not justifiable. You're hurting people, and they don't even know it yet. You're lying, you're going to hurt people and yourself. The anguish you feel when you know you've hurt the people that matter most, is not worth the brief time you are with that person. The look of guilt is in your eyes, they see it, they know it, you're a fool to think otherwise.

 

Stop it now.......tell the truth, get counseling if you both want to work it out. If not, stop what you are doing and get help for yourself, I had actually thought of at one point to tell my husband that I had feelings for another man, I thought it would be easier to tell the truth and deal with the consequences. I wish that I had. It would have hurt, but not like this......

 

Truth is always better, no matter what. Lying only makes you a liar, you're not protecting anyone by doing that, you're only avoiding the eventual imploding of your life.

 

Its hard to believe that u r unhappy , specially when u left ur husband to be with this person . didn't u say u are in love with ur boss ? I think its only ur husband who is hurting & needs to heal & u need to enjoy.

[Jeff1962]

...You know the relationship with the boss isnt going anywhere, so why are you banging your head against the wall?

 

You need professional help. Dont blame anything more on your husband because the MM is using you too in his own ways.

 

You need help. Period!

 

 

 

Not to sound rude but he is banging her head against the wall and that is probably all he wants.