paleblue Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 had a good valentines day! wasn't expecting that to happen. had a new date this evening that went better than anticipated. this is the complete opposite of how my life has been for the last week. the last week has been nothing short of total emotional hell. 1) my exgf at work whom i still cant seem to shake my feelings for after a year and a half, who wants to be " friends" i find out is banging someone. ouch that hurts. that basically broke me down - she has been deceiving me for months by flat out denying it -and i am Still stuck wanting to be with her. - i have been holding that in as she doesnt know i know. 2) things ended this week with a girl i have been "dating" the last 6 months - more like wasting my time because she did nothing but play outright games - that made me feel even worse because i felt like a failure thinking my ex is with someone else - and i am still wallowing around with nothing. 3) i had a new date last night - that went horribly wrong. i havent had a date THAT bad in a long time. she lied to me with her pictures -she turned out to be a disgusting pig who was also rude. she gave me the shudders for several hours afterward. i drank almost a 12 pack just to try and get that out of my system. but i kept persevering. i woke up today - got an unexpected phone call - said yes to another date. and well, tonight's date made up for last nights date and then some! and just like that the gray cloud lifted some. she is smart, good looking, has a great body, and wants to see me again. we hit it off well. altho i still want my ex, those feeling of jealousy and hurt that she is with someone else suddenly didn't feel so bad. meeting someone new seems to be the only way i get past things -the only way i move on. when i am alone i ruminate and spiral downward. when i have a new girl i dont care about anything from the past. not sure whats going to happen yet, but it just goes to show how quick things can change in a day. i went from complete misery, to this isnt so bad the next...
USMCHokie Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 Congrats! Good to hear some positive experiences this V-Day...best of luck to you with this new girl! Hope she turns out to be a winner.
DustySaltus Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 I remember going on a date with someone I met online right after I broke up with my ex. She lied about her pictures too. She said she was athletic...yeah, athletic enough to be a linebacker. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against big women...i just have no tolerance for liars. I though about my ex and how she would laugh at me if she saw me at that moment. Then I realized how much power I was giving her and I just laughed it off. You cannot let another person define who you are though. Whether you have 10 dates in days or no dates for a month, you need to be happy with yourself before you can be with anyone else. Confidence is key. Good luck, one day at a time.
Serena2009 Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 had a good valentines day! wasn't expecting that to happen. had a new date this evening that went better than anticipated. this is the complete opposite of how my life has been for the last week. the last week has been nothing short of total emotional hell. 3) i had a new date last night - that went horribly wrong. i havent had a date THAT bad in a long time. she lied to me with her pictures -she turned out to be a disgusting pig who was also rude. she gave me the shudders for several hours afterward. i drank almost a 12 pack just to try and get that out of my system. but i kept persevering. i woke up today - got an unexpected phone call - said yes to another date. and well, tonight's date made up for last nights date and then some! and just like that the gray cloud lifted some. she is smart, good looking, has a great body, and wants to see me again. we hit it off well. altho i still want my ex, those feeling of jealousy and hurt that she is with someone else suddenly didn't feel so bad. meeting someone new seems to be the only way i get past things -the only way i move on. when i am alone i ruminate and spiral downward. when i have a new girl i dont care about anything from the past. not sure whats going to happen yet, but it just goes to show how quick things can change in a day. i went from complete misery, to this isnt so bad the next... Hey Paleblue, It's great to hear that you had a good experience with a date on Saturday. Regarding #3 in your post, your Friday date, I had a similar horrible experience with a date on Friday!! Maybe something was in the air that night. I'm still laughing about your description of shuddering for hours after and needing to drink a 12-pack to try and get that out of your system. You described my thoughts and feelings about my Friday evening exactly! The worst part was when he described his gastric bypass surgery, the loss of 100 pounds, and the resulting loose skin that had to be removed surgically while we were in the middle of dinner. I have no idea of why he felt a need to share that information with me at that point in time, but it was very unappetizing (no pun intended)! He followed this up with a sexually suggestive comment and when I questioned him about what he said, he claimed I said it to him! I'm not normally a big drinker, but I needed a few drinks during the date just to get through dinner and the evening. At least you were able to wait until after your date was over to consume alcohol. I was so turned off by the whole experience that I had thoughts of giving up dating, becoming a nun and joining a convent!! This was only my second experience with actually taking a chance and going out with someone from an online dating service. Are these sites loaded with these types? I'm glad that your Saturday experience was better and here's hoping that your ex is out of your system soon!
Author paleblue Posted February 15, 2010 Author Posted February 15, 2010 Congrats! Good to hear some positive experiences this V-Day...best of luck to you with this new girl! Hope she turns out to be a winner. mucho gracias. she seems a little dry, but im willing to see what she's got. she has other commodities i am interested in. I remember going on a date with someone I met online right after I broke up with my ex. She lied about her pictures too. She said she was athletic...yeah, athletic enough to be a linebacker. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against big women...i just have no tolerance for liars. I though about my ex and how she would laugh at me if she saw me at that moment. Then I realized how much power I was giving her and I just laughed it off. You cannot let another person define who you are though. Whether you have 10 dates in days or no dates for a month, you need to be happy with yourself before you can be with anyone else. Confidence is key. Good luck, one day at a time. what i dont get is why lie with your pictures. you cant avoid the truth when you meet. so why do it. this beasts picture must have been from 10 year ago. i should have asked, online dating tip #1 - do you have a pic? online dating tip #2 - i that a RECENT pic?? Hey Paleblue, It's great to hear that you had a good experience with a date on Saturday. Regarding #3 in your post, your Friday date, I had a similar horrible experience with a date on Friday!! Maybe something was in the air that night. I'm still laughing about your description of shuddering for hours after and needing to drink a 12-pack to try and get that out of your system. You described my thoughts and feelings about my Friday evening exactly! The worst part was when he described his gastric bypass surgery, the loss of 100 pounds, and the resulting loose skin that had to be removed surgically while we were in the middle of dinner. I have no idea of why he felt a need to share that information with me at that point in time, but it was very unappetizing (no pun intended)! He followed this up with a sexually suggestive comment and when I questioned him about what he said, he claimed I said it to him! I'm not normally a big drinker, but I needed a few drinks during the date just to get through dinner and the evening. At least you were able to wait until after your date was over to consume alcohol. I was so turned off by the whole experience that I had thoughts of giving up dating, becoming a nun and joining a convent!! This was only my second experience with actually taking a chance and going out with someone from an online dating service. Are these sites loaded with these types? I'm glad that your Saturday experience was better and here's hoping that your ex is out of your system soon! serena, i forgot also how horrific dating can be until recently. but it can also be really great when you meet cool ppl. i have ran into mostly decent by far and large, but every once in awhile, something like this happens. i am sorry yours went horrible. what kind of person talks about that on their first date? it certainly isnt going to make anyone feel like laughing. more like puking. and during dinner? wow. then he suggests something sexual? this just keep getting better. what a lovely picture - hey lets jump into the sack and you can play with all my loose skin. id pound a bottle to get that out of my head too. yes, you have every right to get turned off. he sounds like a pig. id say maybe 1 in 10 is gross like that. maybe more, not sure. like i said i have run into mostly decent even if there was no chemistry. in fact i still talk to some of them as friends here and there. we laugh about our dates to each other and like to reach out if having a bad day. or catch up on the latest. i have always been the type of person who says even if it doesnt work like that i am always open to at least being friends with people. some people are cool with that, some arent. usually the ones who dont are sour grapes anyway. dont give up! use it to laugh about at your next date : ) there a lots of nice people on these sites but there are also lots of players who just want booty call. so you have to weed thru 10 to find 1 good 1. i think anyone else who has been thru it would agree. so keep that in mind! you have 8 more to go lol. hopefully not tho thanks, i would like to think i can get my ex out of my system but it's hard we work together. she comes snooping around wanting to keep tabs it seems. she is just one of those people who we have a very strong sexual connection to each other. she knows it and i know it. maybe if i didnt enjoy her booty so much it would be easier. but its like a drug. i know relationships aren't just about that but its hard over ride those primal instincts.
MizzBella Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 ooooh...now I know why I avoid the dating sites! LOL. Paleblue - you sound like a really great guy, so I hope you find a gal that appreciates you and who is also great in bed. As for the great booty with your ex...I was totally convinced that my last bf was the god of sex and I would never find anyone else who could make me feel the way he did. Our physical relationship had such a stong hold on me, so I know how you feel. I put up with so much crap simply because of the sex. So now I am trying a new experiment - and "trying" is the key word here. My current bf and I (whom you've read about and commented on) have made an attempt not to let a physical relationship define our relationship. So far we have managed to only have sex 2 times...not too bad considering how often we had been seeing each other...and it was even better sex than with my last bf...and the hope of more of this kind of sex keeps me hanging on. I often wonder if it has the same affect for him - maybe not. So...I think sex always plays a role in how you feel about someone, even if you're not actually having it. LOL.
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