Gunny376 Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 Denial of one's reality is the single source of one's unhappiness and discontent in life. The fact of the matter is that men and women aren't built nor constructed to live together "happily and forever after" for twenty, thirty, forty fifty plus years or so. The fact of the matter is that half of all first time marriages end in divorce. Of those that don't? Thirty-seven percent stay together because of the children, finances, status quo. family obligations, religious beliefs ~ but they're not happily married. (Ref: "Crazy Time") There's a reason we have such terms as "serial monogamy" and "multi-marriages" Its a paradox in that men benefit very little from marriage ~ Marriage primarily benefits women and children ~ men benefit from it very little. And then they do! For men their social network, circle of influence grows significantly through the benefit of marriage and women. (Not their {men's} upon others, but other influence and social interaction with others) But most marriages from the start degrade into "martial atrophy" In which she ends up doing "her thing" and he ends up doing his! She's in one room on the phone talking with her friends, sisters, aunts, mother etc and he's in the other watching "tha'" game. For some they even end up sleeping in different beds and bedrooms. Most people be they men or be they women? Simply are not LTR let alone marriage material. They've simply do not have the relationship, communication skills to "get her done!" More so men than women. (Which is why women are so frustrated with men!) Most people are tuned into that same old tired radio station ~ WIFM? "What's In it for me?" When it should really be more about "Ask not what my wife can do for me? But what I can do for my wife!" And "Ask not what my husband can do for me? But what I can do for my husband?" If your a man? The reason your not getting enough sex is because your woman isn't getting enough love! Women use about four to six thousand words a day. Men use about half as much. So yea! What color to paint the bathroom really is that important to her. The Eskimos have about twenty different or so words to describe the color "white" African-Americans have many different words to describe being "black" in America. Communication is key and important. There's a difference in cross-gender communication. LOL! When she says "I really prefer you didn't!" means your going to pay Hell come later! When she says "Fine!" your @zz is grass and she's the Super Deluxe John Deer lawn mower!! My point here is to work on yourself. Identify your shortcomings and weaknesses ~ and then seek self improvement. Be yourself and most of all be the best "you" that you can be and become! Don't live in the past! Live in the present and look forward toward the future. What was? Was! What is? Is! And What will be? Will be! Try to live life with no regrets and no doubts! Was I the best of the Best? No! But I was far from being the worse of the worst! Some gave all, but all gave some! I gave the best that I had to give at the time. I gave all that had to give at the time!
Butterflair Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 Communication is key and important. That is right on Gunny, especially about communication. That is the key right there. You not only have to be able to talk but to listen. If a woman or man isn't heard, then they stop communicating. A vicious circle. I would be excited about something and tell ex, he would make snarky comments and burst my "happy ballons" so I stopped talking to him. No feelings of love, no wanting sex, happier to do things on my own. I am at fault too for the communication breakdown but he's the one who turned to a woman half his age. When it goes down, it goes down in flames.
Author Gunny376 Posted February 15, 2010 Author Posted February 15, 2010 That is right on Gunny, especially about communication. That is the key right there. You not only have to be able to talk but to listen. If a woman or man isn't heard, then they stop communicating. A vicious circle. I would be excited about something and tell ex, he would make snarky comments and burst my "happy ballons" so I stopped talking to him. No feelings of love, no wanting sex, happier to do things on my own. I am at fault too for the communication breakdown but he's the one who turned to a woman half his age. When it goes down, it goes down in flames. The thing is? We have the benefit of age and experience.
Brooke79 Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 Spot on Gunny, at least as it pertains to my household. Some people probably are more streamlined and communicate better, but I know I definitely talk more to my friends and family and lS posters LOL than I do my husband. And I being the typical woman don't want it that way. But as the saying goes, it is what it is. REAlity.
Butterflair Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 Age and experience is definitely on my side now. I have a better idea of what I want and what I don't want. I don't like to fight and argue, it shouldn't be hard to have a relationship and communicate. There shouldn't be secrets and things we don't tell. I want someone to have fun WITH me, compliment each other, not one carry the other. Will I find it? Hope so. Not looking yet, I figure we'll find each other when it's time.
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