pgummins Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Hello all, I'll try and make this short. I'm 19 and have been involved with a girl 8 years older than me, she is in a relationship. It lasted 4 or 5 months, it destroyed me mentally, I broke it off. Shes suffering, I think she loves me, but not enough it seems to make changes and move away from her boyfreind. My problem is, and I'm not proud of it, I'm purposely making her jealous. I tell mutual friends things that I know they will say to her. I talk to girls on Facebook knowing she will see it (shes doing similar things, but more to bait me, not chasing other men or anything). I feel bad for making her jealous She is suffering, but then, I continue to do it, I like to think she is still thinking of me and so on. Is it ok to play this game? Am I "faking it till I make it"? Is this helping me move on? (I feel it is, seeing her not being able to, sort of makes me want to move on more). I think I'm holding her back intentionally. I could have blocked her on facebook but I want her to see me, etc. I'm 19, only you guys know this is my first serious relationship, ever, and shes 27, lol. Everyone knows me for being intelligent, clever, caring, I'm a nice guy. But I want to learn lessons and so on, so tell me if I'm doing a bad thing here. And one other thing, I can't stop looking at her facebook, thats probably whats holding me back too . At the end of the day, I shouldn't care about her or what shes thinking or feeling. But its hard to let go. Thanks everyone.
pureinheart Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 Hello all, I'll try and make this short. I'm 19 and have been involved with a girl 8 years older than me, she is in a relationship. It lasted 4 or 5 months, it destroyed me mentally, I broke it off. Shes suffering, I think she loves me, but not enough it seems to make changes and move away from her boyfreind. My problem is, and I'm not proud of it, I'm purposely making her jealous. I tell mutual friends things that I know they will say to her. I talk to girls on Facebook knowing she will see it (shes doing similar things, but more to bait me, not chasing other men or anything). I feel bad for making her jealous She is suffering, but then, I continue to do it, I like to think she is still thinking of me and so on. Is it ok to play this game? Am I "faking it till I make it"? Is this helping me move on? (I feel it is, seeing her not being able to, sort of makes me want to move on more). I think I'm holding her back intentionally. I could have blocked her on facebook but I want her to see me, etc. I'm 19, only you guys know this is my first serious relationship, ever, and shes 27, lol. Everyone knows me for being intelligent, clever, caring, I'm a nice guy. But I want to learn lessons and so on, so tell me if I'm doing a bad thing here. And one other thing, I can't stop looking at her facebook, thats probably whats holding me back too . At the end of the day, I shouldn't care about her or what shes thinking or feeling. But its hard to let go. Thanks everyone. True confessions again WF....lol....yep I did that too (bolded)...it wasn't hard because I got hit on a lot and messed with him concerning that. In a previous post I communicated that I had reverted back to old bad behavior in the EA with him. It's better not to, although I know you mostlikely feel slighted because of her being with you and having a bf....if I were you I would move on because there are many fish in the sea that will treat you much better....I know it's tempting, although it's better to be straight up
norajane Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 You're 19. You can find someone that's not attached to someone else. If you really want to move on, you'd quit playing games, quit trying to make her jealous, unfriend her on Facebook and move on. If you don't want to move on, you're in for more of what got you here. Who cares if she's jealous? If she's not willing to leave her BF to be with you, you should BOTH move on. I completely agree. You're very young - this isn't going to be the only woman you meet that you fall in love with. The longer you maintain this kind of contact, the longer it's going to take you to move on. I feel bad for you. You've started down the road of wanting women who are unavailable, women who are ultimately unattainable for some reason, either because they are with someone else, or are age inappropriate, or are emotionally unavailable... It's something to watch out for, because the more of those women you waste your time with, the likelier you will be to end up all alone. Keep in mind, she's a cheater. If she cheats on her bf, she will cheat on you, too. Stay away from women who cheat.
Ronni_W Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Is it ok to play this game? That's your personal call. But in my books, no, it's never ok to intentionally try to inflict emotional pain or distress. It's certainly not something a genuinely "nice guy" would try to do. Am I "faking it till I make it"? Faking what? Acting like an immature jerk? No. You're not faking that...you're doing it for real. If that's what you were going for then you can stop "faking it"...you have made it! Congrats? Is this helping me move on? Only you can tell for sure, but it doesn't sound like it. Sounds like you're spending a lot of time and energy being stuck on someone from your past. Everyone knows me for being intelligent, clever, caring, Not "everyone". Some of the people who read you here will not get that impression of you. I'm a nice guy. According to your post, you're not living up to your self-image. Either it is inaccurate, or you're not acting according to who you are (or want to be, perhaps.)
Author pgummins Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 I got it, thanks a lot for your reply. Very immature indeed. I read a couple of articles on "Stop checking you ex's" facebook and I have made the decision not to look at it. I realise what I have done is wrong. Wish me luck
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