D-Lish Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 At some point you may feel ready to to have that talk with her, and may want to encourage her to seek some help with her drinking. She really has to do something about that...
Author murphomatic Posted April 23, 2010 Author Posted April 23, 2010 Just thought I'd re-visit an old thread. I've been free of this hell now for 2.5 months.... and my life has done nothing but GET BETTER ever since she left. I don't know why I didn't dump her back in June of '09 when I first saw the signs of disaster. D-Lish - I've had this talk with her several times..until I was blue in the face. She knows she has a problem, she's admitted it, and she knew I had a problem with it and wouldn't stay in her life unless she resolved it. She knows she needs to do something about it....but she just doesn't. It's just easier to get drunk and forget about your problems, and pretend that by the time sobriety rolls around again, those problems will all just magically disappear. Anyway - it's interesting to read back through my threads regarding her and the problems we experienced, and feels SO FREAKING GOOD to be where I am now! Thanks again to everyone for the listening ears and sage advice.
Author murphomatic Posted October 23, 2010 Author Posted October 23, 2010 Holy smokes ... Well, apparently I'm completely retarded. Set the fast-foward machine to June 21st, 2010.. first day of summer. I wake up strangely at 2 in the morning and for some reason am driven to open the front door of the house. There on the doormat in the dim light of the porch lamp is a letter with a few coins sitting atop of it. As it turns out, it's a letter from her to me. She had gotten sober, and the coins were the markers of 4 months of sobriety since we'd broken up. Her letter was amazing and had me in tears. We talked, reconciled and got back together. What a mistake. It was great for a couple of months ... she never slipped back into drinking .. but weed and the monopolization of my time became her new addiction, and it wasn't long before things started to slide downhill again. And today it finally ends again ... I feel so emotionally exhausted..
tinktronik Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 Holy smokes ... Well, apparently I'm completely retarded. Set the fast-foward machine to June 21st, 2010.. first day of summer. I wake up strangely at 2 in the morning and for some reason am driven to open the front door of the house. There on the doormat in the dim light of the porch lamp is a letter with a few coins sitting atop of it. As it turns out, it's a letter from her to me. She had gotten sober, and the coins were the markers of 4 months of sobriety since we'd broken up. Her letter was amazing and had me in tears. We talked, reconciled and got back together. What a mistake. It was great for a couple of months ... she never slipped back into drinking .. but weed and the monopolization of my time became her new addiction, and it wasn't long before things started to slide downhill again. And today it finally ends again ... I feel so emotionally exhausted.. Oh boy. At least you both gave it an honest shot. This is not the one for you. You did great with the first round of NC, it's time to implement it again.
Author murphomatic Posted November 17, 2010 Author Posted November 17, 2010 (edited) So it's been a few weeks now, and I'm movin' on .. not really thinking too much about her, hoping she's not thinking too much about me (aka: plotting revenge). Sunday rolls around and I get an email from a friend whom I'd had a conversation with back in June when my girlfriend and I got back together. I was so proud of my lady for kicking the alcohol habit, I told some of my e-friends about it..they were all happy for me, but advised me to be careful - that relapse happens, and if it does - to be ready for it. Sage advice. Anyway - the email I got Sunday was one of my e-friends saying "WTF?" She apparently got an email from my ex. I'll quote it here just so you can all enjoy in the level of PSYCHO we're dealing with here. Keep in mind, the advice my friend gave me originally back in June was positive and happy - but advised caution. This email from my ex to her happened Nov 14th - so she's obviously been stewing over it for 4 or 5 months.. shut your fat hog mouth when it comes to people you dont know. I find it odd, that someone who is clearly such a mess on the outside, and thereby, couldnt possibly have it together on the inside, would take the time to pass judgement on someone (ME), especially to someone they dont know, and have no relation to what so ever. I did not appreciate your message to him in regards to the challenges alcoholics have or how unlikely it would be that we would be a success given my alcoholism. You came off so ignorant and judgemental that I was embarassed for you, and not for myself. I also became curious as to why someone who doesnt know my boyfriend would be writing him about me anyway. Its not your place, your unfounded, unsolicited opinion was not helpful, nor anything positive. Ive sat with the knowledge of this and being reminded of it every time your heifer face crossed his FB page as my personal philosophy is not to inflict myself on others (try it, its nice), to not upset my boyfriend, and to bring harmony where this is dischord, but **** that, I owe neither of you a damn thing. Since you were so errant in your assumptions, I will clue you in. In this past year I have done things that you will never achieve, including the arresting of my progressive, incurable, fatal disease of alcoholism. I am not ashamed of being an alcoholic in recovery. I have lost 70lbs, I walked onto a job after 2 years of not working with a salary half again above the median salary for our metropolitan area, I balance FT work, FT school and parenting with ease. There is no entropy in my life, people love me, and I am a blessing and welcomed every where I go. My life is a celebration of and testament to what adversity people can and will over come in this life, which is already hard enough. How dare you be one to question, judge, or attempt to belittle this, especially having ZERO foundation for said statements. In the future, Id recommend a little less movement of the mouth and fingers, and lot more movement of the feet. When you get all butt hurt about this email and cry, remember, it only hurts if its true. Thats why I felt no pain in the reading of your letter, just the shock that ignorance and low class people can pervade my life, even from a different country. How do they say it in Canada? Put down the brownie and go for a damn walk, eh? Youll stop judging others, when youre happy with yourself. I find a couple of points particularly interesting .. she's never had any sort of "I don't inflict myself on others" policy, she thinks she isn't judgmental? She hasn't lost 70 lbs (maybe 20), she's not employed, and she is horrible at balancing FT school + the limited amount of parenting she does (the drug-dealing nanny is used quite often)..let alone throwing in full-time work. And she's DEFINITELY NOT SOBER ... she may not drink anymore, but she probably blows through $500 worth of weed every 3 weeks. It's like she's so far into denial that lying to herself is the only option left... Anyway - just thought I'd share some of the insanity... Edited November 17, 2010 by murphomatic
Recommended Posts