TheStranger Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Well, I posted here back in June after losing my partner, but luckily I got her back and we got on great, but now, more problems I'd like help with. So, I spent Xmas with her and her family, her mum went away on December 27th and I stayed at hers, with her. We got on OK. Last year we said we'd get engaged, but New Years Eve I made it official with a ring and she still accepted when I asked her. Jan 1st, we made dinner together and she told me that 2010 was going to be a good year for me and her. Forward to Jan 4th, I was talkin to ger one night on Facebook, and out of the blue she tells me it's over, BUT the following day I could still go to her mums birthday meal and spend the night at hers. So the following day comes, we kiss, link arms walkin to the meal, we go back to hers, we make love and everything seems fine. I wake up in the middle of the night, to find her giving me a kiss on the lips and is facing me while cuddling me. Then the next day I leave and she tells me it's still over. That night we text alot and we're both really gutted and emotional about it, she tells me things like she'll love me until she dies etc, and she was crying and upset about it. BUT, she still agrees to go away with me on a hol we have booked for feb 21st just me and her, and we agree to still spend time together. So I ask her if I can see her, she says she isn't ready, then the next day she asks me to come stay at hers and have tea. We hadn't at this stage told anyone about the breakup. So that night, again, we made love twice, and she tells me she loves me etc etc etc. The following week, she comes out for the day with me somewhere that's always been special between me and her, we had a good day and all along she's telling me 'MAYBE' about being back together, she never says no and always tells me she loves me etc. Then the following week (2 weeks ago last wed) she came to sleep at my house, we had tea, we made love, she kept calling me beautiful, we got on really well. She left the next day and agreed I could see her on the following tuesday, I went round and she was really off with me, but before I left that evening, she kissed me (snogged) told me she loved me forever and when asked if she had someone else she said no. Then the sunday after that, in the morning, she told me she was still coming away with me on the 21st, then in the evening, she told me she wasn't as she didn't want to give me hope. So we spoke abit and arranged things, changed all our facebook stuff to make it official so everyone could know. And that night we agreed to go NO CONTACT, clean break as we both agreed on, so she logged off facebook then texted me saying sweet dreams, I replied goodnight and told her that if she changes her mind, to contact me. So that was that, then the next day at about midnight, I get a text, from her 'hope ur ok x text me anytime x', I replied and she basically asked what I'd been up to, and that was that. So I didn't text again, the next day at 9pm, she texts to say shes finished work and is askin how I am. I replied, she text again the same stuff of what had I been up to etc, that was that. 1:07am, she texts me again, askin how I am and what i'd been doing, this being only afew hours after she'd already asked. Then we texted each other for a good while about stuff, then at about 4am, she text saying 'nite sweet dreams x hope u sleep well my love xx' Now, her calling me her love, kinda gave me hope and made me think. But I wasn't sure. So I didn't text again, and the next day, she texted me again to say she'd finished work and askin if i was ok and all the usual stuff, then the last text she sent, she put an emoticon face giving a kiss. And it puzzled me, so friday morning, her step dad was supposed to be pickin up some of her stuff, he didnt turn up and I was going out for a drink with a mate, so I text and said I was going out, and she asked who with, I told her and she said nice, I asked was she still going to the lake district like she had planned, she said no. Then, cut to that night, I got home and logged on facebook, and saw that she's actually gone away for the weekend with a male coworker of hers, he's clearly interested in her, but she's always sworn that he is just a friend and I've had no reason to doubt her. So I didn't text her and I fell asleep. The next morning around 10am, she texted me to say she hoped i'd had fun the day before, i was polite, but then finally I asked if she was seeing him or going out with him, she replied 'Im not seeing him or going out with him OK! x' She then replied saying 'u got a new girlfriend yet?' I said no as I still wanted her, to which she said 'u shud go out and have some fun, u mite like it' I asked if by fun she meant sex and I asked if that was what she was doing, she replied 'haha.Im not that lucky x' and I then said well I wasnt thinkin of that or anyone else as I wanted her and she replied 'Ok x'. So I left it at that, I knew she was with him, and where they'd gone through her mum who's been keeping in contact with me. So last night at midnight I text her saying Happy Valentines Day and I went to sleep, today at around 2pm she replied 'Happy Valentines Day! x' and that was that. Now I'm not gonna text again now, and I'm wondering if she'll contact me. She told me she isn't going out with that guy, and I have no reason to disbelieve her, but if she's sharing a room with him at the hotel they're at, or she's done anything with him, It'll make it much easier for me to move on. I'm 22 and she is now 19. She's also said recently how depressed she is, to do with work and some other stuff, and when she mentioned taking a friend on the hol we had booked, she said it'd never be the same as going with me, but going together will just hurt us both. Now, I want this girl back, I'd die for her, I really would. And she gives me so many signs of wanting me to, it's almost like she is trying to convince herself she doesn't want me, when she does? What do u guys think? What should I do? Think it'll work out?? Thanks for reading.
LostInLimbo Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 To me she sounds very confused, she wants you but doesn't, and if not that, then she is playing you and leading you on, in hopes if things don't work out, your a security blanket for her. I would just let her go and let her contact you, if you continue to wanna contact her or do make the first move, its always going to build her ego up and possibly even push her away more, putting you back to square one. Why continue on with something where your only dabbling in it and not know where you stand, then to let go and have her make that move and then know where your standing.. Best of luck, I know what your feeling, Been there.... LiL
Author TheStranger Posted February 14, 2010 Author Posted February 14, 2010 To me she sounds very confused, she wants you but doesn't, and if not that, then she is playing you and leading you on, in hopes if things don't work out, your a security blanket for her. I would just let her go and let her contact you, if you continue to wanna contact her or do make the first move, its always going to build her ego up and possibly even push her away more, putting you back to square one. Why continue on with something where your only dabbling in it and not know where you stand, then to let go and have her make that move and then know where your standing.. Best of luck, I know what your feeling, Been there.... LiL Thanks alot for replying, yeah, she seems so confused to me to, she's said afew times she really needs to sort her head out etc. I've gone along with the no contact thing each time and she's contacted me each time, I'm now doing it again, and I wonder if she will text me or something, but I'm going to stick at it. Thanks again for reading and replying and giving a helpful reply.
LostInLimbo Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Your Welcome, Hang in there and be strong with NC, I know what your going through...it will all work out in the end. I know you also say she is the one who keeps Texting you, thats hard and makes it more difficult for you to heal. LiL
MizzBella Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Wow...sounds as if she might enjoy all the drama she creates, kind of like an adrenaline junkie. I am sorry you're dealing with someone who is so emotionally immature.
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