Thisfeelswierd Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 (edited) My old college sweetheart found me on Facebook and I accepted his friend request. He was a sweet enough guy, but had that almost uncurable disease of "Can't keep my hands off other woman and can't keep my pecker in my pants" ever heard of it? After 3-4 times and a heart in pieces we broke up. I did love him, but he did hurt me really bad. I met my husband shortly after and he has been life changing we have 2 kids together and have been married for 15 years. It was fun to see him, his family, his wife (one of those girls he couldn't keep his hands off of), what he is doing, and we asked how mutual friends were doing from way back then.......harmless enough.......at least to me it was. Turns out he is pretty darn successful so is his wife and she is very pretty, so this is where it get's wierd. Well then he makes it all uncomfortable by sending me this email saying "I'm sorry for what I did, I think of you alot, I don't know why I just do, I'll always love you, etc" This is not what I was wanting to hear. Needless to say I've stopped contact and only answer direct questions for no other reason then just to be nice. Example: Him: "Is the weather nice their I've never been?" Me: "Yeah, we like it" I promise he has no chance to ever see me again. My question is why would someone do that? Guilt? Missed opportunity? The thing is we are not local 2000 miles away and he is successful, so why the confession? Advise away!! Edited February 14, 2010 by Thisfeelswierd
whichwayisup Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Maybe he just feels bad by the way he treated you all those years ago. Either way, you're handling this the right way by not allowing him to continue or pursue a friendship with you. He is your past, time to shut the door. What's the point of keeping any type of friendship with him, even more so since he's so far away? Tell him thanks for apologizing, and to take care. Short, sweet and to the point. No need to get into a big long goodbye or explain yourself. Send him a message through fb, then delete him off your friends list. He is no friend, in all reality.
asireen Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 My question is why would someone do that? Guilt? Missed opportunity? Variety is the spice of life. It was for him then, and he is looking for some now. He knows you loved him. He is sending feelers. Just as he may be to some of his other flames. He is throwing in the line, surely one will bite. No guilt or missed opportunity here. Just a time to look for opportunities.
Author Thisfeelswierd Posted February 14, 2010 Author Posted February 14, 2010 Very well could be.......seems like alot of trouble to me I guess guys do that though. The part that seemed strange, besides the apology, was their success very well off why contact someone that is on the other side of the country? That made me feel like there was some sincerity to it....doesn't matter in the end. thx:laugh:
Jeff1962 Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 He could be sorry for how he treated you. I would be comfortable with the apology but not the "always love you" statement. Like whichwayisup stated, shut the door on the past. No need for it.
Sharla Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 My old college sweetheart found me on Facebook and I accepted his friend request. He was a sweet enough guy, but had that almost uncurable disease of "Can't keep my hands off other woman and can't keep my pecker in my pants" ever heard of it? After 3-4 times and a heart in pieces we broke up. I did love him, but he did hurt me really bad. I met my husband shortly after and he has been life changing we have 2 kids together and have been married for 15 years. It was fun to see him, his family, his wife (one of those girls he couldn't keep his hands off of), what he is doing, and we asked how mutual friends were doing from way back then.......harmless enough.......at least to me it was. Turns out he is pretty darn successful so is his wife and she is very pretty, so this is where it get's wierd. Well then he makes it all uncomfortable by sending me this email saying "I'm sorry for what I did, I think of you alot, I don't know why I just do, I'll always love you, etc" This is not what I was wanting to hear. Needless to say I've stopped contact and only answer direct questions for no other reason then just to be nice. Example: Him: "Is the weather nice their I've never been?" Me: "Yeah, we like it" I promise he has no chance to ever see me again. My question is why would someone do that? Guilt? Missed opportunity? The thing is we are not local 2000 miles away and he is successful, so why the confession? Advise away!! I don't think it really matters. You're married and it's in the past. An ex-boyfriend from over 10 years ago still contacts me from time to time, which is nice because we were at one point in time best friends, but that was so very long ago. An occasional "hi, how are you" is fine, but anything more than that is a no-go.
Heroic Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 When ever anyone from my past comes sniffing around I always say, "I loved the time we spent together but I'm so glad we found out we weren't for each other before things got serious. It's a nice bucket of ice water for them.
SuburbanOblivion Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Is your husband aware of what this guy has said? Take him off your facebook, nothing good is going to come of it.
carhill Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Advise away!! Nice encounter. My stbx and I have friends on the other coast. They're always welcome in our home. Hope he and his wife make a point to visit next time they're in the area. 'Sounds like you and your wife have made a wonderful life for yourselves. Next time you and she are in the area, we'd surely enjoy showing you a bit of our hospitality. I'll let my H know you'll be in touch. Great talking to you' You'll never hear from him again.
LakesideDream Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Car's advice is good. Of course you can do what I did... look how that turned out. Best to nip this in the bud now. It may feel good for awhile, but sooner or later someone is going to be hurt. Luck to you.
Recommended Posts