Gold Pile Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 (edited) Who are your VD targets this year? Today and Monday I 'll be targeting 6 women. Last year (as always) I stocked up on chocolate during the post Valentines Day sales. The candy is stale by now but the price was good and the recipients will blame the manufacturer instead of me. Target one is a foreign born lady who is far from friends and family herein the US. This attractive, lonely lady is much younger than me, so I'll keep it lite and friendly.... its easy to scare off the young ones. Number 2 is a lady closer to my age. She relocated here from another State. Again...far from friends and family. I peg her as my best shot. I'll be aggressive with her. Number 3 is an overweight neighbor lady. She has long full hair and expensive, low cut clothing. (smart chubbs do this to compensate). I wouldn't go for a weight challenged lady but she has been losing weight and is now approaching slender/ attractive. She thinks her vertical blinds afford her privacy when she dances alone in her living room, but from my angle I can see her well (aided by binoculars). She gets very dressed up once a week and slow dances by herself. I've engaged her in friendly conversation now and then for a few months. Not something everyone will do with a chubby girl. If she keeps to pattern, she'll be dancing tonight. I'll show up at her door with candy and even flowers. I got small (cheap) flowers at the supermarket. I added some dry spinach (on sale $1. a bag) to fluff it up some. I'll wing this one...I'll start lite and friendly, but move to aggressive if she seems the least bit receptive. Number 4 is a fairly attractive lady near my age. She is mean to everyone (friendless) and under the care of a shrink. I run into her once a week at a client company. I actually made her laugh a couple of times. I'll play it very aggressive and try to sweep her off her feet. Number five is my cousin, she has been through a very hard time. She has an attractive friend that I hope will be taken with my kindness to her. You didn't think I wanted my cousin did you? I wouldn't make a move on her, but she is good looking (runs in my family) ....suppose I wouldn't refuse her if she made a move. lol Last is a lady that lost relatives to tragedy 2 years ago. I wouldn't add to her pain, but will present myself as a chance to get on with her life....or sex life anyway. Who are your targets this year? Edited February 14, 2010 by Gold Pile
Author Gold Pile Posted February 15, 2010 Author Posted February 15, 2010 Saw number 0ne an hour ago.....it went Ok, but it was strictly lite and friendly. I can see number dancing for aprox 15 minutes now. I'm nervous about this one, a great potential of looking foolish. Anyway..... I'll be at her door in 10 minutes. Wish me luck
Lizzie60 Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 Saw number 0ne an hour ago.....it went Ok, but it was strictly lite and friendly. I can see number dancing for aprox 15 minutes now. I'm nervous about this one, a great potential of looking foolish. Anyway..... I'll be at her door in 10 minutes. Wish me luck Hey... are you still there... How did it go? I'm jealous...
D-Lish Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 It's good you're sticking to flowers and veggies instead of chocolates with regard to the chubby one GP.
OpenBook Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 Go GP Go!!! :bunny::bunny::bunny: (that's 6 bunnies, I think) :D
D-Lish Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 GP must be getting laid right now- either that or he fell asleep with his binoculars in hand.
Art_Critic Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 either that or he fell asleep with his binoculars in hand. Yeah... binoculars.. rigggght.. Hey GP.. Glad to see you haven't changed and gave in to society's norms.. I love that about you..
alphamale Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 Who are your targets this year? no one really except for that dawn girl
Author Gold Pile Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 (edited) Thanks all for your support. Last night I went to see the recently shrinking chubby one. She seemed surprised to have any visitor, let alone a man with candy and flowers. She said something like "thanks but aren't you too old for me" My quick wit was telling me to say she was too fat for anybody..., but I played it cool and said I wasn't too old to gift flowers to a beautiful woman, with no strings attached. At this point she smiled and produced a frying pan from behind her back and placed it on the counter. Not sure what that was about .... maybe food obsessed people keep a frying pan on them at all times. Maybe it was just a security measure when unexpected company arrives. I mentioned the big band music she had playing in the background and asked for one dance. 10 seconds later (seemed like 5 minutes) she answered " maybe one" . Her place was more tidy than most fat people's homes. (maybe she cleaned up after she started slimming down). I'm a clutz at dancing but she was on cloud 9. Eventually I slid my hand down to the top of her butt. The butt was still too big, so I moved my hands up to her breasts. She didn't object so I tried to kiss her. She announced it was time for me to leave, I debated her for awhile. She finally pointed to the door and said "out!". I politely thanked her for the dances, then turned and headed for the door. Soon she spun me around and began kissing me. We kissed for a few minutes then she said she was sorry but I had to leave. I ignored she protests for awhile, but she stated my exit orders more firmly. At the door she got hammy and said we weren't meant to be, but that she would treasure the memory and the flowers. I distracted her with the ol "look there" bit. I grabbed my flowers and hid them behind my back. We said our goodbyes. The foreign girl called me late that night and we talked for hours. Maybe, MAYBE this will go somewhere. More later........ Edited February 16, 2010 by Gold Pile
Johnny M Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 This is the funniest thread I've read in a while . Good job. Out of curiosity, what's the ethnicity of the 'foreign born lady'?
Author Gold Pile Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 This is the funniest thread I've read in a while . Good job. Out of curiosity, what's the ethnicity of the 'foreign born lady'? she's from Denmark
Johnny M Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 she's from Denmark So you decided to visit your fat (albeit shrinking) neighbor when you could have spent Valentine's Day with a younger, in shape, Scandinavian girl?? Come on grandpa, don't sell yourself so short
Lizzie60 Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Thanks for the update GP.. that was hilarious..
Author Gold Pile Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 Thanks for the update GP.. that was hilarious.. On Monday I gifted my cousin with Valentine candy. I hope she tells her hot girlfriend how nice I am. Also on Monday morning I decided not to gift the crazy lady, I could end up shot or something. I gifted the out of state lady with candy and the flowers I reclaimed from the chubby lady. I thought her to be my best chance, but she was rather cool to it. The foreign lady I gifted Sunday, she was friendly but certainly didn't seem ready for a grope fest. But she did call late that night (after the fat girl tossed me out) and we talked for a long time. She is indeed lonely here and poured out her soul to me. I was careful to work some flirting into the conversation so I don't end up in the "just friends" zone. Monday Afternoon I gifted the lady who is recovering from tragic deaths of those close to her. I really don't want to hurt her, so I only presented myself as a potential friend with benefits. She seemed shocked and hurt by my advance. I called her Monday evening to apologize. Seems she did lots of thinking and had a change of heart. We have a dinner date Friday. One thing I've noticed over the years of passing out stale candy, many recipients use it has a good excuse to call me. They are calling to complain or tell me to get a store refund, but most of the time they just want to talk to me and see where it goes. This year it was the foriegn lady that called.
sam light Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Thanks for this thread. It's a well known fact that over eaters usually carry a frying pan in the event something fryable crosses their path. What Earth possed YOU [ or anyone for that matter] to hit on an over eater?
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