Chitowngirl Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 So I met this guy tonight via an online dating site. I was nervous, and supposedly it was his first time meeting someone from online. He actually decided this afternoon that he was going to fly to meet me for drinks tonight, since he lives a few states away. That was pretty spontaneous, so I was shocked he actually showed up. So...the date went really well up until about 45 min in..not sure if the booze hit him or what..but..it's like a switch flipped and he felt like he knew me and he got all Dr.Phil on my ass saying no amount of money in the world would help my situation (I've been laid off for 11 months) because I don't have self esteem. He said all I did the first 30 min was make 3 comments about how I put myself down..ok..yeah I did but I was being honest..sorry if that was such a turn off?? So I started crying on the date and ended it b/c he wouldn't stop with the Dr.Phil talk, like he was trying to be a life coach. Sorry if I don't have high self esteem after being laid off for 11 months, moving to a new state 1 week ago, not being able to work out, etc etc etc???? it was just the oddest date ever and it made me miss my crazy ass ex even more. Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!!!!!!!!
sexysteve Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 you shouldve been like "imma get opera on your ass" =D
Bejita463 Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 He said all I did the first 30 min was make 3 comments about how I put myself down..ok..yeah I did but I was being honest..sorry if that was such a turn off?? As we only have your side of things to go off of... Devil Advocate: 30 minutes of negativity IS a turn off. See, there's something you might not realize that I think guys would agree with, in general. When you tell a guy about a problem, his natural inclination is not to listen or give you emotional support like I imagine you were probably expecting. His inclination is to fix it. His going "Dr Phil" on you may have been his way of trying to address whatever problems you were voicing. Also, anyone I went on a date with who spent 30 minutes downing on themselves is not someone I'd want to see again anyway. That would come across as ridiculously high maintenance to me. How much and how often would I have to reassure such a person?
Author Chitowngirl Posted February 14, 2010 Author Posted February 14, 2010 As we only have your side of things to go off of... Devil Advocate: 30 minutes of negativity IS a turn off. See, there's something you might not realize that I think guys would agree with, in general. When you tell a guy about a problem, his natural inclination is not to listen or give you emotional support like I imagine you were probably expecting. His inclination is to fix it. His going "Dr Phil" on you may have been his way of trying to address whatever problems you were voicing. Also, anyone I went on a date with who spent 30 minutes downing on themselves is not someone I'd want to see again anyway. That would come across as ridiculously high maintenance to me. How much and how often would I have to reassure such a person? Ok I said I was nervous. I said I havent worked out in a week due to my move, and since he was basing me off my internet pix I wasnt sure if he'd think I'd look like them or not I said I felt silly wearing my blue winter coat with my nice dress I didnt have a nice wool jacket to wear. This was said over the capacity of hours before the date. Looking back, ok, guess I shouldn't have voiced my insecurities. Next time obviously I know better..
Bejita463 Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Ok I said I was nervous. I said I havent worked out in a week due to my move, and since he was basing me off my internet pix I wasnt sure if he'd think I'd look like them or not I said I felt silly wearing my blue winter coat with my nice dress I didnt have a nice wool jacket to wear. This was said over the capacity of hours before the date. Looking back, ok, guess I shouldn't have voiced my insecurities. Next time obviously I know better.. Oh, that's not so bad. Maybe he was just a douche.
soulm8 Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Chi, you vent to girlfriends... not guys... especially not first dates. Guys automatically jump into fixit mode. Sorry it wasn't a good date and I hope things get better for ya soon.
Author Chitowngirl Posted February 14, 2010 Author Posted February 14, 2010 Chi, you vent to girlfriends... not guys... especially not first dates. Guys automatically jump into fixit mode. Sorry it wasn't a good date and I hope things get better for ya soon. Yeah, guess he did go into major fixit mode.
phineas Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 As a guy i go into fixit mode or change the subject in those situations because otherwise I can feel myself getting sucked into the friendzone.
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