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why do females pursue men who they know are committed to someone else???

yeyo tornapart

By yeyo tornapart
in Infidelity

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yeyo tornapart Member

yeyo tornapart

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Women???

why would you pursue a guy that you know has a wife, girlfriend, companion, i mean u get the point?

it doesn't bother you that he's obviously a liar, cheater, self absorbed person? obviously because he's not telling his spouse about you! and if he's tellin you about her that doesn't send warning signs about what he will obviously do to you???

 

*males feel free to leave your insight too! i'd really like clarity on this one

JackJack Established Member

JackJack

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Selfishness.

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yeyo tornapart Member

yeyo tornapart

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selfishness...ok yea i can go with that, i do agree. However, i kno its more than that.i'd like to know from someone who has actually done it their specific reasons/justifications. i should not have used the word committed but involved because i would hope a committed person wouldn't cheat!

Chrome Barracuda Established Member

Chrome Barracuda

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Low self esteem, selfishness, false sense of entitlement. and all around delusional. Take your pick.

realworldexplorer Member

realworldexplorer

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There are as many reasons and permutations thereof, as there are affairs, including: low self esteem, jealousy, anger, lust, love, split personality, compartmentalization, horniness, narcissism, sociopathy, horniness, mid life crisis, boredom, horniness, compulsive personality disorder, fear of ageing, cellulite, bunions, intense self absorption, PMS, post menopausal depression, improper boundary consideration, horniness, fear, rage, guilt, opportunity, money/status gain, disregard for consequences, disregard for loss of integrity/honor, disregard for possible loss of soul, disregard for others, greed, poor self image, neediness, abuse, depression, sadism, masochism, fear of being alone, envy, gluttony, rationalization, ability for secrecy/deception of self and others and, of course, horniness.

MizFit Established Member

MizFit

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Women???

why would you pursue a guy that you know has a wife, girlfriend, companion, i mean u get the point?

it doesn't bother you that he's obviously a liar, cheater, self absorbed person? obviously because he's not telling his spouse about you! and if he's tellin you about her that doesn't send warning signs about what he will obviously do to you???

 

*males feel free to leave your insight too! i'd really like clarity on this one

 

 

I may be wrong, but I think you'll find there are more married/attached men pursuing affairs. Most OW don't go out looking for the men...they're the ones who are pursued.

bittersweet memories Established Member

bittersweet memories

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I may be wrong, but I think you'll find there are more married/attached men pursuing affairs. Most OW don't go out looking for the men...they're the ones who are pursued.

 

i think it goes both way....

jnd2009 Member

jnd2009

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It does go both ways. He started flirting when we worked together, although I took it as a joke. Once he quit and we started hanging out outside of work, I realized he was serious. I still hold him to things he's said to me while at work.

MizFit Established Member

MizFit

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i think it goes both way....

 

 

It could very well be, but speaking from my experiences as a single woman and conversations from my single friends it seems like there's a fair few married men out and about actively looking. If anyone is involved in dating websites there often seem to be more married men than single...

 

I will agree my ignorance on the number of women pursuing married men overall though.

SadandConfusedWA Established Member

SadandConfusedWA

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Omnia vincit amore.

 

Love conquers all.

 

This is what some women feel. They view marriage as an obstacle certainly, but some are hopeless romantics. They feel like they have met "the one".

jennie-jennie Established Member

jennie-jennie

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When a MM pursues you, he is relentless. He will come after you time and time again. Nothing compares to this. It is very difficult, if not to say impossible, to resist being pursued in this manner by a man you are already to begin with extremely attacted to.

 

Perhaps it is because for him to pursue you, his attraction to you has to in turn also be very strong, otherwise he would not have crossed the border of accepted behavior.

Edited by jennie-jennie
Leia Established Member

Leia

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Low self esteem, selfishness, false sense of entitlement. and all around delusional. Take your pick.

 

All that. I don't get why those women can't say no after finding out the man is married. Weaklings.

jennie-jennie Established Member

jennie-jennie

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All that. I don't get why those women can't say no after finding out the man is married. Weaklings.

 

Perhaps they are more passionate than other women?

Leia Established Member

Leia

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Those women can't be passionate with single men?

RedDevil66 Established Member

RedDevil66

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Low self esteem, selfishness, false sense of entitlement. and all around delusional. Take your pick.

 

ditto

 

But around these parts, the women who chase married men will give you a glammed up version of their reasons in order to justify themselves.

Like "his wife is just a terrible person" or my favorite "Because we love each other"

 

But really, it all comes down to VERY low self worth

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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When a MM pursues you, he is relentless. He will come after you time and time again. Nothing compares to this. It is very difficult, if not to say impossible, to resist being pursued in this manner by a man you are already to begin with extremely attacted to.

 

Perhaps it is because for him to pursue you, his attraction to you has to in turn also be very strong, otherwise he would not have crossed the border of accepted behavior.

 

I have been pursued by MM but I had no problem stopping them and telling them I want no part of that. They will back off if you are firm with them that you will not do this and if they keep it up you will have to talk to human resources or their wife. Trust me, you can stop them if you really want to.

 

My ego would not let me play second fiddle to any woman.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
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It could very well be, but speaking from my experiences as a single woman and conversations from my single friends it seems like there's a fair few married men out and about actively looking. If anyone is involved in dating websites there often seem to be more married men than single...

 

I will agree my ignorance on the number of women pursuing married men overall though.

 

 

Maybe so, but that isn't what the OP is asking. Why get involved with somebody else's man? Can't you tell that these guys are obviously no good if they are planning to cheat? Where is the 'womans' self esteem?

RedDevil66 Established Member

RedDevil66

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I have been pursued by MM but I had no problem stopping them and telling them I want no part of that. They will back off if you are firm with them that you will not do this and if they keep it up you will have to talk to human resources or their wife. Trust me, you can stop them if you really want to.

 

My ego would not let me play second fiddle to any woman.

 

agreed, but look at it this way. if you've not eaten for days, you will pretty much do anything for food. These women are SO needy for love, they will take/do anything for it.

 

Again, goes back to lack of self worth. No matter what jargon you hear from cheating OW on this board and how they use their fancy foot work to justify it, this is the bottom line.

jennie-jennie Established Member

jennie-jennie

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Maybe so, but that isn't what the OP is asking. Why get involved with somebody else's man? Can't you tell that these guys are obviously no good if they are planning to cheat? Where is the 'womans' self esteem?

 

That is not what the OP is asking. She is asking "why do females pursue men who they know are committed to someone else???" and we are answering (that from our experience) they don't, it is the MM who do the pursueing.

jennie-jennie Established Member

jennie-jennie

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I have been pursued by MM but I had no problem stopping them and telling them I want no part of that. They will back off if you are firm with them that you will not do this and if they keep it up you will have to talk to human resources or their wife. Trust me, you can stop them if you really want to.

 

My ego would not let me play second fiddle to any woman.

 

Good for you. You were most likely not that into those guys then. Some women just are more passionate about the ones they love.

anne1707 Established Member

anne1707

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Good for you. You were most likely not that into those guys then. Some women just are more passionate about the ones they love.

 

 

Jennie Jennie

 

Please correct me if I am wrong but are you saying that OW have more to offer MM than their wives do? You seem to be implying that the OW is capable of far greater feelings. Is that really what you are trying to say? If so, then I think there will be plenty of women on LS who will be offended by this.

jennie-jennie Established Member

jennie-jennie

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Perhaps they are more passionate than other women?

 

Jennie Jennie

 

Please correct me if I am wrong but are you saying that OW have more to offer MM than their wives do? You seem to be implying that the OW is capable of far greater feelings. Is that really what you are trying to say? If so, then I think there will be plenty of women on LS who will be offended by this.

 

My post above was just a wild idea I threw out there, not saying that it is correct. I do however wonder sometimes if those engaged in affairs are of the more passionate kind, not saying that that means that others could not be as passionate as well.

 

Just looking at myself and my MM. We both came from relationships where we had a much higher sex drive than our respective partners. This desire for intimacy and sex made the attraction we felt for each other so much stronger. To finally get this desire satisfied is a very strong pull into an extramarital relationship.

 

Oh, and I have been the BS as well, I was as passionate then of course, so it is not being the OW that makes you passionate or not.

anne1707 Established Member

anne1707

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But that is basically saying it is down to sex. To me, passion is not the same as having a high sex drive. Passion is so much more than that.

jennie-jennie Established Member

jennie-jennie

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But that is basically saying it is down to sex. To me, passion is not the same as having a high sex drive. Passion is so much more than that.

 

I agree, but for me high passion leads to sex, they are connected. For me to enjoy sex, I have to love and be passionate about my man. My MM and I have a very strong emotional, intellectual, physical, intimate bond. And on top of that we both have a high sex drive, which means we are compatible all around.

 

I don't know if you have ever had a relationship with someone you love dearly, but who has a lot lower sex drive than you. I can tell you that is not easy. Sex is the difference between a relationship between a couple and a couple of friends. If you are not compatible there, then you are in trouble.

Edited by jennie-jennie
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Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

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Women???

why would you pursue a guy that you know has a wife, girlfriend, companion, i mean u get the point?

it doesn't bother you that he's obviously a liar, cheater, self absorbed person? obviously because he's not telling his spouse about you! and if he's tellin you about her that doesn't send warning signs about what he will obviously do to you???

 

*males feel free to leave your insight too! i'd really like clarity on this one

 

 

correction: Except for one time (on vacation and this was a test for me.. :cool: to see if a MM who seemed so in love with his W would succomb, even after telling me he would never ever cheat :rolleyes:)... I never ever pursued a MM... they are the ones pursuing the OWs..

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