dressing up Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 I know I probably should take the bull by the horns and tell my friends how I want to be treated but I find it difficult to tell them off when perhaps they just think they're being caring. My married or attached friends keep bugging me about whether I'm seeing anyone, whether I've met anyone interesting even when the time difference between their last such questions and their latest such questions is about just a week. Or when I have a slightly more active social life, they start to give me knowing looks or ask questions that suggest that they think I must be going out with a guy. So I've resorted to distancing myself from these friends. I have no choice. Every time I want to tell them to mind their own business and stop pressurizing me, I stop. I don't like to be rude or get into a fight. Sometimes these people won't even know they're crossing the line even if you tell them straight and they end up still thinking that you're the weird one. My question is how many of you have or are encountering this? And how do you combat it without breaking ties with some nice people nonetheless?
phineas Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Hey, at least your not dateing. Then you can hear "when are you going to tie the knot" every week.
USMCHokie Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 This is actually really interesting to read...I've been in Tampa most of this winter visiting college friends and found myself hanging out with two social circles...the group consisting of solely married couples and then the group of singles and those who are just dating...and I've experienced the exact opposite of what you're experiencing...it seems that the singles are the ones asking who I want them to hook me up with that night...trying to get me to meet a girl and get laid while I'm down there... On the other hand, whenever I'm odd wheel with all the married couples, it's actually more fun for me...yea, they know I'm single, but it doesn't really matter to them...since we usually end up going to places where no one is trying to pick up anyone, I actually had more fun with all the married folks (I think I was 13th wheel one night...) When it's the group with all the singles and my good player friend, the whole night is focused on hitting on women...in my current state of mind...not exactly a super fun time... But I have awesome friends...
Author dressing up Posted February 14, 2010 Author Posted February 14, 2010 Hey, at least your not dateing. Then you can hear "when are you going to tie the knot" every week. Isn't that quite the same? It's being inundated with questions that are annoying. I can't tell which is worse.
Author dressing up Posted February 14, 2010 Author Posted February 14, 2010 This is actually really interesting to read...I've been in Tampa most of this winter visiting college friends and found myself hanging out with two social circles...the group consisting of solely married couples and then the group of singles and those who are just dating...and I've experienced the exact opposite of what you're experiencing...it seems that the singles are the ones asking who I want them to hook me up with that night...trying to get me to meet a girl and get laid while I'm down there... On the other hand, whenever I'm odd wheel with all the married couples, it's actually more fun for me...yea, they know I'm single, but it doesn't really matter to them...since we usually end up going to places where no one is trying to pick up anyone, I actually had more fun with all the married folks (I think I was 13th wheel one night...) When it's the group with all the singles and my good player friend, the whole night is focused on hitting on women...in my current state of mind...not exactly a super fun time... But I have awesome friends... I think I know what you mean. I have maybe four groups of friends then. LOL. For married ones, those that bug me about my status and those that don't bother me. For single ones, those that pass on their own worry onto me and talk about getting boyfriends all the time or tease me about my dates and those who are cool. So I prefer to hang out with those that are cool and don't bug me about how I live my life. What bothers me is how my married or attached friends seem to think they've arrived and whoever that hasn't must hurry to achieve what they have.
USMCHokie Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 What bothers me is how my married or attached friends seem to think they've arrived and whoever that hasn't must hurry to achieve what they have. Heh, this actually reminds me of something...I was watching the movie Hitch last night, and this is exactly what Alex's friend was telling him when they were playing pool at that bar (if you remember the scene...)...that being married is the best thing ever...and doing the family thing... I think it has to do with the newness of marriage...you'll hear this mostly from the newly married couples...they think it's the greatest thing because they haven't had the time to see the real side of it...
Author dressing up Posted February 14, 2010 Author Posted February 14, 2010 Heh, this actually reminds me of something...I was watching the movie Hitch last night, and this is exactly what Alex's friend was telling him when they were playing pool at that bar (if you remember the scene...)...that being married is the best thing ever...and doing the family thing... I think it has to do with the newness of marriage...you'll hear this mostly from the newly married couples...they think it's the greatest thing because they haven't had the time to see the real side of it... I don't remember that scene . But you're right, those are the newly-married ones or married not long and those attached are usually under three years. I sometimes wish I could tell them bluntly that they should see how long their relationships last but I don't want to be mean. However they're really testing my patience. It's like the first thing they ask when they see me after a while or even a week is whether I'm seeing anyone. I'm really at my wit's end as to how to deal with these people, who think they have it all.
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