GF;s text message...what does it mean? Do I continue NC

[CJB1]

Please read and see bottom UPDATE...no sure if I should continue NC

 

I havent slept much for 2 days so please excuse the misspellings, typos and overall tone.

 

After I met my GF 1 year and 1 month ago for the first time in my 28 years and 6 months I believed in love...not lust. She wasnt ready for a relationship since she was just coming out of one, but I pushed anyway and she gave in. My intentions were pure and I left sex out of it. I fell for her as a person...for her attitude, mind, mannerisms, humor, body and soul. It was like I could fly. I never have felt this way and to be honest I feel like I never will again. I would give my life for hers. I would stay with her no matter what the circumstances. I treated her and gave her 100% daily. Everyone who met us said we look and act perfect for each other...that we should have kids...that we were like two models....that I treated her how every woman should be treated...it was a daily thing for us scarily...everyone, all our friends and family thought that...except her. Last night out of nowhere, she told me that she wasn't in love with me...that she didn't feel intimate with me like she thinks she should. The pressure of everyone was too much too soon...she felt trapped and wanted to be on her own. She was crying. I was shocked. My first thought was because I gave her so much love so fast, smothering her for attention...she was pushed into a corner...maybe I was selfish and shouldnt have courted her with all my heart..I didnt care, it just clicked and kept clicking for a year with an amazing trip to Hawaii and amazing experiences daily...we exchanged "I love you's" day in and day out. I spoiled her WAY WAY WAY too much. We dealt with hard times and the best of times. Even though we would fight every once in a while, I never stopped showing her love not once...not one name calling or personal attack. After she told me how she needs to be alone and single...I held her and kissed her gently...I left politely and said I would always love her...she was almost hysterical...I didnt loose it and didnt hurt her with words. I came home and I felt my heart for the first time in pain...2 hours later she texted me that she wasnt "OK"...that she "shouldnt have broken up with me like that". She said she "wants time to think of what she wants and "time to be alone and time to look at things from the outside and see what we have" She said "I like you very much" and "love the way you treat me" and "like what we had" but that she "felt she was not being honest with me and then took it over the top". I replied: "I completely understand".She wrote "Thak you for being so great". This afternoon at 2pm she gave in and texted me "how are you doing". I replied "I am in LA with a VP from work...crazy meeting I needed two redbulls"...which I did (I ignored the real question)..I didnt respond to her next question of "which one" (regarding the VP) and she didnt like it...she quickly texted "OK well I hope it goes well then"...I wrote "I think it did...I think I got the deal"...she writes..."Im sure it did. You always do great" I wrote "Thanks" and I haven't heard from her again. I know she wanted me to tell her I love her or miss her or to ask her hows shes doing but that approach is what got me into this mess...I am beyond confused.

 

 

 

update

 

Yesterday, 2 days after the break up...she texted me that she misses me so much already...then she texted: Im sorry I shouldnt have said that.

 

Then on her best friend's facebook she said: "Im so sad...I dont know why I did this".

 

Anyway what should I text back...should I continue NC as it is working? If I wait too long will it be too late?

Edited February 13, 2010 by CJB1

[BootsElectric]

Your situation sounds almost verbatim for mine, the love of my life dumped me last saturday. The only easy part is that she's only tried to contact me only once this week, which I didn't reply to.

 

My advice is to let it go man. I'm not the follower of the "100% NC EVER" rule that seems to be loved around this site, but I think you need time to think this over. If she's going to rethink her decision to leave you, it won't happen if you're around. Right now it sounds like she's trying to assuage her own guilt. Worry about taking care of yourself, and right now, cutting off contact seems like the best way to do it.

Edited February 14, 2010 by BootsElectric

[kwyser]

Only you can truly decide what you want.

 

Sit down and think long and hard about what you want to do.

 

Do you want to move one? Get back with her?

 

What was the relationship like? Do you want that back?

 

Once you decide it is time to tell her. If you are done tell her that, if you wan to get back with her then tell her that.

 

Good luck

[LBCBADBOY]

Go in to NC man, and continue NC. Believe me on this one. I just went through something horrible. Take a look at my post and see for yourself. She is feeling guilty of the break up and maybe trying to use you as a crutch to get over it and eventually once she is healed she may drop you like a bad habit. STAY NC until you hear "I made a mistake and I want you back in my life" everything else is just crumbs bro. Take it from me...I got the "I'm sad mumbo jumbo and blah blah blah". Yes I screwed up our second chances because of my issues of not letting go of the past and my anger isse. She is shopping you bro don't give in and stay NC.

[DenverBachelor]

Call your cell phone company and immediately request the new "Nuke from Orbit" cell feature. You tell them explicitly, "If this number calls my cell phone, you have my permission to triangulate their position and nuke them from orbit."

 

This way, as soon as she calls your number and then presses, "Send," she will immediately be nuked from orbit. This is the only way to assure NC and let her know that you're really not interested in her calling you.

 

[BigTenInchRecord]

The bottom line is that she said she wasn't in love with you. She very well may miss you and your company over the next few weeks, but more than likely even if you did reconcile it would be short lived. Your best bet is to go NC and give it time. Actually try your best to push her from your mind and move on. I know it's easier said than done, but it's what needs to be done. She will not forget about you if you go NC, whether it be weeks or months. If she does forget about you that easily, she wasn't the one anyway, dig?

 

However there may be a good chance that after much reflection and alone time she does realize she loves you, and only then if she makes it 100% clear she made a mistake and wants you back, should you begin to consider a second chance.

 

NC should not be used as a tool to get her back, but to let yourself heal. If your using it as a way to get them back, you won't really be getting over them, thus you won't be healing. But rest assured that if it is really meant to work out, it probably will.

 

I personally have gone through something similar. A girl I was in love with broke up with me at the end of summer. I went a few months going NC hoping to get her back, to no avail. I got crumbs here and there, and it all led to nothing. I would have gave anything to just see her. Eventually when I realized I was wasting my time thinking about someone who wanted nil to do with me, I really did begin to move on. I no longer checked if she called, had no desire to look at pictures, etc. Low and behold once I moved on, she begin contacting me again. Saying she was upset we hadn't hung out, inviting me to her party, etc. Now that I moved on I'm in a position to decline and feel good about it, and it's a wonderful thing. It's a long road, but the destination is worth it, I assure you. Good luck.