Pizzaman81 Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 I've went on dates with a bunch of women in the past few months, had my adventures and ups and downs, trying to figure out what I am attracted to NOW (apparently, my criteria becomes more and more picky after I go along). Anyway, to the point where I was multi-dating, getting to know them all, got it all figured out, never rush into things, think with a clear head... I got it all figured... oh wait... who are you? I went to lunch with a girl that her family introduced me to a while back. I finally met her and it went well, I think it went well. Now I am thinking and acting like how I was back in high school. Nervous, can't stop thinking about her, doing stupid crap! I made a second date with her, to go see a musical in the city... I never done that before, I always thought to myself when I see the posters as I ride the commuter train, i want to see this play, but maybe I'll save this one for someone special after I get to know her for a while... who I think is really really good! Well, she accepted my second date to go watch the musical. The heck! Why am I spending so much money on someone who I don't even know if this will work out long term. Ok, it's not even the fact that I am spending the money, but the way I am feeling. This is... highly... strange. This feeling must be fake... must control. She's just another girl. Must... not.... convert.... into.... nice...... guy.
frenchgirl Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 Either that or staying home and slowly die. I think the decision is obvious.
alphamale Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 Ok, it's not even the fact that I am spending the money, but the way I am feeling. This is... highly... strange. This feeling must be fake... must control. She's just another girl. Must... not.... convert.... into.... nice...... guy. haha you're like spock from star trek
Author Pizzaman81 Posted February 13, 2010 Author Posted February 13, 2010 So I was going to pose a question, but forgot. Do anyone else feel this way about someone you meet? Overwhelming feeling. How to deal with it?
meerkat stew Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 The money is not an issue as long as it is something you want to do too and not just to impress her. To fight the "pedestalizing" attitude remember (based on what you have posted) a) how easy it is for you to get dates and sex, b) she has already made up a base level attraction or unattraction to you, and anything you do will only incrementally move that one way or the other over time, c) you are the chow yun fat looking mofo, not her! she is as fortunate to have your attention as you are to have hers
zebracolors Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 Maybe something in your gut is telling you this woman might just be more then just another date. Maybe optimism. However that's something only you can decide for sure. Be open to feeling it out and see where it goes, yeah? You seem like a great guy Pizzaman, well in as much as we are see your personality here on LS. I know as a woman, I can appreciate humor, and I bet a date would be fun with you.
alphamale Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 Why am I spending so much money on someone who I don't even know if this will work out long term. because you are trying to impress her so that she'll like you
tkgirl Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 I've went on dates with a bunch of women in the past few months, had my adventures and ups and downs, trying to figure out what I am attracted to NOW (apparently, my criteria becomes more and more picky after I go along). Anyway, to the point where I was multi-dating, getting to know them all, got it all figured out, never rush into things, think with a clear head... I got it all figured... oh wait... who are you? I went to lunch with a girl that her family introduced me to a while back. I finally met her and it went well, I think it went well. Now I am thinking and acting like how I was back in high school. Nervous, can't stop thinking about her, doing stupid crap! I made a second date with her, to go see a musical in the city... I never done that before, I always thought to myself when I see the posters as I ride the commuter train, i want to see this play, but maybe I'll save this one for someone special after I get to know her for a while... who I think is really really good! Well, she accepted my second date to go watch the musical. The heck! Why am I spending so much money on someone who I don't even know if this will work out long term. Ok, it's not even the fact that I am spending the money, but the way I am feeling. This is... highly... strange. This feeling must be fake... must control. She's just another girl. Must... not.... convert.... into.... nice...... guy. oh yea, because it's been so well proven on here that us women do not like "nice guys" geezz.. just go with it pizzaman!
Author Pizzaman81 Posted February 13, 2010 Author Posted February 13, 2010 because you are trying to impress her so that she'll like you Ugh that's not the impression I wanted to make...... now it seems like all actions after this is because I spent the money. Crap!
tkgirl Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 Ugh that's not the impression I wanted to make...... now it seems like all actions after this is because I spent the money. Crap! stop over-thinking it! you like her... you wanted to see this play or whatever it is... now you're taking her to it.. no big whoop!
greatgirlfriend Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 You women don't and it doesn't take any research to know that. You want excitment and charm within the first 10 minutes of the guy is out. Most men want sex quickly so other men are even worse. What is it now, a double digit number of women who have said no to a second date? You all have a bad experience with some idiot male and take it out on the rest of us. :rolleyes: I wouldn't date you, you hate women.
tkgirl Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 oh yea, because it's been so well proven on here that us women do not like "nice guys" geezz.. just go with it pizzaman! You women don't and it doesn't take any research to know that. You want excitment and charm within the first 10 minutes of the guy is out. Most men want sex quickly so other men are even worse. What is it now, a double digit number of women who have said no to a second date? You all have a bad experience with some idiot male and take it out on the rest of us. :rolleyes: oh boy... I'm not even going to go there...
skydiveaddict Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 . This is... highly... strange. This feeling must be fake... must control. She's just another girl. Must... not.... convert.... into.... nice...... guy. LOL you like her, that's why. And don't worry, you cannot convert into a "nice guy", not possible.. You can only convert from "nice guy" into an "a..hole". I know, 'cause I've done it. The transition is nearly complete
Author Pizzaman81 Posted February 13, 2010 Author Posted February 13, 2010 Alright! After reading the replies, I have overreacted. It makes sense. I will just have fun
Bejita463 Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 I will just have fun Sounds like a plan. I find your situation enviable, and hope things work out for you.
jerbear Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 Dude, *slap* *slap* snap out of it! Stop overthinking! You like her and you're trying to impress her! You got a 2nd date, so go with the flow, if your nervous that is fine. If you make a fool of yourself, that is fine too, just know how to recover. Ok, go on the 2nd date and enjoy her company. Be yourself, if you sweat; well we asians, well start wearing deodorant.
You'reasian Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 Dude, *slap* *slap* snap out of it! Stop overthinking! You like her and you're trying to impress her! You got a 2nd date, so go with the flow, if your nervous that is fine. If you make a fool of yourself, that is fine too, just know how to recover. Ok, go on the 2nd date and enjoy her company. Be yourself, if you sweat; well we asians, well start wearing deodorant. I never wear deoderant; to the contrary, I use hardened gelatin because I want to be sweet - feels the same, right? I kid, I kid.
jerbear Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 I never wear deoderant; to the contrary' date=' I use [b']hardened gelatin because I want to be sweet[/b] - feels the same, right? I kid, I kid. Yes, of course!
You'reasian Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 Yes, of course! I've got this bad habit of making people laugh... I tell myself they're laughing with me so as not to cry myself to sleep at night...
Johnny M Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 She's just another girl. Must... not.... convert.... into.... nice...... guy. The quickest way to ruin your chances is to show that you're really into her. It's all over if you do that. I made this mistake a few times myself when I was younger and clueless.
Johnny M Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 So I was going to pose a question, but forgot. Do anyone else feel this way about someone you meet? Overwhelming feeling. How to deal with it? Yes, I know the feeling. You deal with it by taking a step back and reminding yourself of the following realities: 1) She is just a regular person, likely nothing special, and could very well be a bitch. 2) There's a good chance that it won't workout regardless of what you do or say, so no point in stressing out over something that is not entirely in your hands. 4) She is just one of many options that are [hopefully] available to you, so if it doesn't work out, you've got plenty more to choose from.
sagetalk Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 The quickest way to ruin your chances is to show that you're really into her. It's all over if you do that. I made this mistake a few times myself when I was younger and clueless. Yep same here. I was nuts about a particular girl and I showed it too much early on (that was not my only mistake though). My advice is to have a good time and let whatever happens happen. If you go into "impress her with your niceness" mode you might be in big trouble. Loosen up, and get the girl!
sagetalk Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Yes, I know the feeling. You deal with it by taking a step back and reminding yourself of the following realities: 1) She is just a regular person, likely nothing special, and could very well be a bitch. 2) There's a good chance that it won't workout regardless of what you do or say, so no point in stressing out over something that is not entirely in your hands. 4) She is just one of many options that are [hopefully] available to you, so if it doesn't work out, you've got plenty more to choose from. This helped me too since you reminded me of the girl I screwed up with . 1. she was not a b* she was an angel. 2. great point 4. (? where's 3 ) I tell myself this all the time, and yes it does help a great deal.
fallendisguise Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Now I am thinking and acting like how I was back in high school. Nervous, can't stop thinking about her, doing stupid crap! I made a second date with her, to go see a musical in the city... I never done that before, I always thought to myself when I see the posters as I ride the commuter train, i want to see this play, but maybe I'll save this one for someone special after I get to know her for a while... who I think is really really good! Ok, it's not even the fact that I am spending the money, but the way I am feeling. This is... highly... strange. This feeling must be fake... must control. She's just another girl. Must... not.... convert.... into.... nice...... guy. Just enjoy it! That feeling IMO doesn't come along all that often. It's not like you have to decide your future with her now. Just be open to liking her and having a fun time. Go with the flow and have fun with it. I'm excited for you!
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