jqb05443 Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 A coworker and I have become close over the past few months. He is 16 years older than me but I am very attracted to him and I enjoy his company. We have been emailing each other all day long sometimes until 10 at night. He has asked me to lunch alone several times and told me that he is really glad we have started talking. He would always make hints like he likes me but I am really stupid when it comes to hints so I would always try to look into things he would say and try to interpret them in a friendly way. He finally asked me to go out to dinner with him. I agreed. Just another quick side note, when we started talking I dared him to ask out someone and he did. Everything seemed to be going okay and I brought up the fact as a joke if I would am considered sloppy seconds to the girl I dared him to ask out and he told me that is the most ridiculous thing he heard. He then said that he thought I would ask him if I was a dare as the other woman was a dare. I told him that the thought did cross my mind but I figured even if I asked him he woudn't tell me the truth. So I would still go out with him for dinner even if I was a dare. I told him that he is just a friend and there is nothing wrong with friends hanging out. Well ever since that day he has been kind of distant towards me. Did I screw things up by saying that he is a friend and there is nothing wrong with friends hanging out? Or maybe he realized he didn't want to get involved with a coworker so he is starting to back away? Any suggestions?
sagetalk Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 When you tell a guy he is just a friend, what you really said was, "You're the nicest guy in the world, but I'd never have sex with you in a million years". Who could blame him. When a girl says things like that it usuaslly means she isn't attracted to you.
mortensorchid Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 Yeah, you did screw up. You told him "I like you as a friend" and hope you didn't make reference to the dare you were put up to. As you two have to work together, I hope you can put your differences aside and continue to be professional. Also, hope this teaches you that office romances are a BAD IDEA and you are not to do this again under ANY circumstances!
homersheineken Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 Yeah, you did screw up. You told him "I like you as a friend" and hope you didn't make reference to the dare you were put up to. As you two have to work together, I hope you can put your differences aside and continue to be professional. Also, hope this teaches you that office romances are a BAD IDEA and you are not to do this again under ANY circumstances! Gimmme a break. At my last 3 jobs I've dated a co-worker. It's a great place to meet women and get to know.
meerkat stew Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 Working together + age gap + you daring him to date others + you playing the friend card = him fading out if he's a mature guy. The first two hurdles are hard to leap for a guy if you are unsure if the woman is even interested, or lukewarm. If you want him, respond to his advances in a positive way, not in a game playing way. You two seem to know each other quite well, why not just ask him?
Author jqb05443 Posted February 14, 2010 Author Posted February 14, 2010 I don't know how I should approach the situation now. He holds a high position in the company (different area than I work in) and I don't want to completely make a fool of myself as he could make my life hell indirectly. I had told him how some guy yelled at me and he made it a point to find out who the guy was and told me that he would make the guy pay for yelling at me somehow. He has the power to do so, which I told him please not to do anything to this guy as it was a long time ago. I just don't know why he just changed over night. I don't want to make a fool of myself and tell him I like him, in case he only did see me as a friend and someone to just pass the time with. I really like him alot and find myself thinking about him constantly. I just don't know what his feelings are. I am just worried I blew it by saying the friends comment
Johnny M Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Well ever since that day he has been kind of distant towards me. Did I screw things up by saying that he is a friend and there is nothing wrong with friends hanging out? This is a rhetorical question, right?? Telling someone that he is just a friend is the equivalent of saying "I am not interested in you". So yes, you totally screwed it up.
Author jqb05443 Posted February 14, 2010 Author Posted February 14, 2010 I am 30 but don't have that much experience with guys. I was with a guy for 10 years and then with another for 3 years so I feel stupid when it comes to liking someone or even knowing if someone likes me or if they are just being friendly. He is supposed to go out with the woman me and another girl dared him to ask out next Friday. She was out this past week and he hasn't been able to confirm the date with her. He told me that he was free either Thursday or Friday. I told him I could do Thursday since he has to take the other woman out on Friday. I said if that doesnt work we can go some other time. He responded by saying we would have to go some other time if he is forced to take the other woman out on Friday. Which made me feel like he wasn't interested anymore since he had told me the day prior that he was free Thursday and Friday. So I said..Do what you want to do and let me know. He never acknowledged that. So I am wondering should I bring it up again or just wait and see if he does? This after I said the friends comment.
Recommended Posts