Bejita463 Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 I don't feel insulted. I'm trying to explain why it's not insincere. You think less of the date if he accepts, right?
soulm8 Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 It just shows his character (and lack of interest) if he actually accepts. It's not that I think less of him... I just wonder if it has any bearing on his interest level.
Bejita463 Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 It's not that I think less of him... I just wonder if it has any bearing on his interest level. I see. I misunderstood what you were saying then. I would get the impression you weren't very interested in me if you even made that offer, to be honest.
soulm8 Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 I see. I misunderstood what you were saying then. I would get the impression you weren't very interested in me if you even made that offer, to be honest. Really? Even if we'd had a GREAT date? I always thought it was a polite gesture... Why would my offering to pay half suggest non-interest?
Bejita463 Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Really? Even if we'd had a GREAT date? I always thought it was a polite gesture... Why would my offering to pay half suggest non-interest? It has been my understanding that women will often offer to pay for half of their meal if they are disinterested in seeing you again. The reasoning being that they don't want to feel they owe you anything, or to give you any reason to feel that they owe you anything. Seems juvenile to me, but I can understand the caution. Regardless, I've had dates I thought went well enough, and gotten outright ignored when I try to follow up on them. So, if I had a fantastic date with someone, and they offered to pay for half of it... part of me would be thinking "....WHYYYYYYYY?" I'd think it is cool as hell though, once I realized it wasn't a sign of disinterest. Provided of course, it was a genuine offer. Not a test to see what I'd do.
soulm8 Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 It has been my understanding that women will often offer to pay for half of their meal if they are disinterested in seeing you again. The reasoning being that they don't want to feel they owe you anything, or to give you any reason to feel that they owe you anything. Well, maybe I'm a strange duck, but if I'm not interested... I don't bother to offer paying half!
BobSacamento Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 The problem I have with blind dates and online dating is on a first date I am never myself. I find that I'm like that with a lot of people though. If it's a new job or new friends it takes some time to get comfortable with people. I'd imagine the women I go out with deal the same problem.
Author Vintage79 Posted February 14, 2010 Author Posted February 14, 2010 Well, maybe I'm a strange duck, but if I'm not interested... I don't bother to offer paying half! Hmmm - interesting, because if I'm not interested, I make the girl split with me. I only think about paying if I'm unsure if I want to see them again, or if I definitely want to see them again. If they find themselves in the "do not return" bucket, you bet that they'll be paying...no free lunch for crappy dates. Moreover, on the more neutral, or uncertain dates, if they offer to pay their share, I almost always let them. For the good dates, if they offer to pay, I say they can pay next time, or suggest heading off to a bar/pub and they can pay for a round. Some guys may say that's not cool - but I believe in a too way street, and doing this has never damaged the chances of getting another date, at least with girls I've wanted to see again (they've always said yes). It very well may have damaged some of the neutral dates, but in those cases, I didn't really care all that much as they were already in questionable territory.
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