xbisoubisoux Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 So for the last couple of months my boyfriend and I had been getting into lots of little fights. Everything had become very stressful in my life and I was basically bringing it into our relationship. Then a couple of weeks ago we fought again and he had a meltdown. I went over to talk to him and try to make up but he was hysterical and crying and said he couldn't have a girlfriend anymore and he didn't love me anymore. I tried to reason with him and apologize but he was sobbing and just wouldn't listen. I was calm and accepted his decision. Of course I was devastated, I couldn't believe what was happening. A little background he is 23, I'm 22. He has never been in a relationship before and we have been together a year. I am not interested in kids or marriage so I haven't been pushing him in any way towards that but we were planning on moving in together in the Summer. Anyways, we saw each other a couple of days later and he asked how I was, I said I missed him and he burst into tears. About a week after that we got together and hung out but nothing happened. Then two days after that we hung out with his friends and at the end of the day we got back together but he said he wanted to take things slow. I agreed but didn't push him as to what he meant by taking things slow. It has almost been two weeks since that happened. When we hang out it is a lot like it used to be. We haven't fought at all and I feel great when I'm with him. We are not hanging out as much as we used to (right before the breakup I spent every night with him because of family problems) but this is ok with me because I felt like we were spending way too much time together and I never got to see my friends. However, when I am away from him I feel really insecure. We still haven't talked about what happened and he hasn't told me he loves me. Btw we said I love you very early in the relationship but he was the one who said it first. I know it has only been two weeks but I am still heartbroken. I really need reassurance from him that he loves me and is sticking with me but I don't want to bring it up because I assume this kind of talk will upset him (I don't know if this is me being weird or reality though). This is definitely not the typical guy thing of wanting to take things slow meaning I want to sleep with you but not be together, but it still has me upset. Basically I want to know if I should just wait and not say anything until he does (even though this is torture), wait for a while but eventually talk about this (how long do you think I should wait?), or bring this issue up now. Sorry for the long post, any advice is appreciated.
soulm8 Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 So for the last couple of months my boyfriend and I had been getting into lots of little fights. Everything had become very stressful in my life and I was basically bringing it into our relationship. Then a couple of weeks ago we fought again and he had a meltdown. I went over to talk to him and try to make up but he was hysterical and crying and said he couldn't have a girlfriend anymore and he didn't love me anymore. Hysterical? Sounds to me like he needs a sincere apology from you and assurance that you've got your stressful life sorted out before he has to get nitpicked again. Who wants that? Give him space and figure out if you truly love him.
Author xbisoubisoux Posted February 13, 2010 Author Posted February 13, 2010 Thanks, I agree. I did do a lot of apologizing that night however I would love to apologize more fully and talk about how terrible I was acting. I honestly feel that I really hurt him and I deserved to be kicked in the pants. But right now my question really is should I just not talk about things and be calm and happy or bring these issues up again. Honestly there is absolutely nothing I want him to change or do better I just feel the need to get things out and want to know if I should just repress it or figure out a way to talk about things right.
Author xbisoubisoux Posted February 13, 2010 Author Posted February 13, 2010 Also, by hysterical I mean that he never ever cries or gets upset but he was sobbing so that I couldn't understand what he was saying some of the time. Its not that he was acting inappropriately, just really out of character.
soulm8 Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 should I just not talk about things and be calm and happy or bring these issues up again. Honestly there is absolutely nothing I want him to change or do better I just feel the need to get things out and want to know if I should just repress it or figure out a way to talk about things right. I would let him know that you want to make things right and that he didn't deserve to be treated like that, IMO. Be genuine and show him that you love him.
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