You'reasian Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Being mysterious is not garbage... it's a good idea as far as attracting people of the opposite sex. Too many people, myself included, spill the beans too soon and that breeds boredom and less challenge. Do you need a challenge?
Author soulm8 Posted February 15, 2010 Author Posted February 15, 2010 Do you need a challenge? No... not a challenge so much as a chance to miss him and wonder about him occasionally. There's a balance to that so when and if it comes naturally, it's wonderful.
calazhage Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 (edited) No... not a challenge so much as a chance to miss him and wonder about him occasionally. There's a balance to that so when and if it comes naturally, it's wonderful. Huh? Ok this is a serious question. When does the need for that end? When you are married must he still be "mysterious", and you are wondering what he is doing? If he is not "mysterious" any longer, will you get bored of him and the relationship/ marriage? Before you also stated he must be your "best friend".. Are you mysterious with your best friends? Edited February 15, 2010 by calazhage 1
Author soulm8 Posted February 15, 2010 Author Posted February 15, 2010 When does the need for that end? When you are married must he still be "mysterious", and you are wondering what he is doing? If he is not "mysterious" any longer, will you get bored of him and the relationship/ marriage? This is hard to explain, so I googled "How to avoid being clingy in a relationship"... there's plenty of info out there, but This article seems to summarize it best. It's not so much being "mysterious"... it's more about keeping your insecurities in check and always remembering that you need to have your own interests/hobbies... don't make her your universe.
Johnny M Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 I love threads like this. A woman posts an entire laundry list of requirements yet says absolutely nothing about what she has to offer. Surely you don't think that the kind of man you're describing would be satisfied with any average broad?? The only things that we know about you are that you are a single mom, don't make a lot of money (combine the two together and one's got a financial burden on his hands) and you are not exactly petite. None of those are good things. So what is it that you've got to offer to the man of your dreams?
Author soulm8 Posted February 15, 2010 Author Posted February 15, 2010 I love threads like this. A woman posts an entire laundry list of requirements yet says absolutely nothing about what she has to offer. Surely you don't think that the kind of man you're describing would be satisfied with any average broad?? The only things that we know about you are that you are a single mom, don't make a lot of money (combine the two together and one's got a financial burden on his hands) and you are not exactly petite. None of those are good things. So what is it that you've got to offer to the man of your dreams? Excuse me Mr. Hot Stuff... but I was simply looking for opinions on my wishlist. I'm not marketing myself here. My dating profile is quite detailed, thank you.
Johnny M Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 Excuse me Mr. Hot Stuff... but I was simply looking for opinions on my wishlist. I'm not marketing myself here. My dating profile is quite detailed, thank you. You don't get, huh? Your question is equivalent to asking "Can I afford a Ferrari?" without saying how much money you make. How are we supposed to say whether your wish list is realistic without knowing what you've got to offer in return?
Mr White Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 Making lists is THE single stupidest thing girls do when it comes to relationships :rolleyes::rolleyes: ==>NONE of the items on the list mean squat if he doesn't love you.. Conversely, genuine feelings matter way more than a flaw or two. As somebody said in another thread - Satan apparently genionely hates women to mess them up so bad
Author soulm8 Posted February 15, 2010 Author Posted February 15, 2010 The point of my thread was that I've found it rather difficult to find a compatible man for exclusive companionship. I tend to attract the "too nice" type, the "player" type, or the "takes a while to uncover the (ugly) truth/issues" type... and it's getting frustrating. I have no problem attracting dates despite being a divorced mother making an average/comfortable salary. In fact, any time I've put myself out there, I get overwhelmed with men trying to "secure" me. I'm the type of woman who places more value on my relationships with family and friends, hobbies and happiness than on wealth. Coming up with a wishlist of desired traits is my way of attempting to attract exactly what I'm seeking in my Mr. Right, to save time, money and heart break for both parties - because I am a compromising, realistic woman!
calazhage Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 (edited) The point of my thread was that I've found it rather difficult to find a compatible man for exclusive companionship. I tend to attract the "too nice" type, the "player" type, or the "takes a while to uncover the (ugly) truth/issues" type... and it's getting frustrating. ! As someone else said NOTHING on your list matters at all if that person does not love you.. It seems pretty arrogant to treat dating as though you are shopping for a car. Add to that being a single mom... Do women still think they are some prize with all the options once they are middle age single moms? Still worried about a guy being 6ft 1? lol I cant even imagine a guy asking questions like this.... "Does she exist? I am overweight, divorced, single dad, low earner, but my dream woman is over 5 10, great body, is mysterious, honest, loving, playful,sexual, does not have casual sex, wants to be a mom to my kids,etc etc" the above guy would be lucky to have any normal woman that loves him.. Why do women view things so much differently.? Edited February 15, 2010 by calazhage
Johnny M Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 the above guy would be lucky to have any normal woman that loves him.. Why do women view things so much differently.? Simple. They lack the sense of reality.
greatgirlfriend Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 As someone else said NOTHING on your list matters at all if that person does not love you.. It seems pretty arrogant to treat dating as though you are shopping for a car. Add to that being a single mom... Do women still think they are some prize with all the options once they are middle age single moms? Still worried about a guy being 6ft 1? lol I cant even imagine a guy asking questions like this.... "Does she exist? I am overweight, divorced, single dad, low earner, but my dream woman is over 5 10, great body, is mysterious, honest, loving, playful,sexual, does not have casual sex, wants to be a mom to my kids,etc etc" the above guy would be lucky to have any normal woman that loves him.. Why do women view things so much differently.? Actually, I've seen guys like that requesting unreasonable women so it goes both ways. I remember an ad from an overweight, unemployed, non high school graduate 40 year old guy who lived with his mom looking for a tall blonde with big breasts and a good job.
calazhage Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 (edited) Actually, I've seen guys like that requesting unreasonable women so it goes both ways. I remember an ad from an overweight, unemployed, non high school graduate 40 year old guy who lived with his mom looking for a tall blonde with big breasts and a good job. Making lists is dominated by women..His behavior (if it even happened), would be extreme outlier behavior. Women these days feel entitled for some reason that I do not quite understand.. Simply having a vagina is not enough to entitle a woman to making a man love her that fits her long list of requirements she thinks she deserves. And of course the requirements are contradictory.. "Love me, but not too soon or too late" "be my best friend, but be mysterious" "be cocky but not arrogant"..Etc Edited February 15, 2010 by calazhage
greatgirlfriend Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 Making lists is dominated by women..His behavior (if it even happened), would be extreme outlier behavior. Women these days feel entitled for some reason that I do not quite understand.. Simply having a vagina is not enough to entitle a woman to making a man love her that fits her long list of requirements she thinks she deserves. And of course the requirements are contradictory.. "Love me, but not too soon or too late" "be my best friend, but be mysterious" "be cocky but not arrogant"..Etc I agree with lists to some extent. Mine is pretty simple: no kids or exwives, not obese, around my age or older (but not too old), and not chronically unemployed (I say that because with this economy there are many unemployed). Outside of that, I have some preferences but not really requirements. Obviously, I wouldn't want a guy who cheats or is abusive, but that takes time to discover. Btw, the guy I am dating is someone who had a hard time online dating. Women rejected him because he's not cute (he looks like Mario from the video game crossed with Yoda), he's not tall (he's 5'9), nor does he make that much. Honestly none of this bothers me because I love his personality. I don't like his emotional issues though (he is a mama's boy and is afraid of falling for me though he said he knows it's happening) and these will be what makes or breaks us.
Author soulm8 Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 A lot of guys will claim they meet those requirements but very very few meet all of them. I meet about half of them and am very close on a couple of others. I somehow missed this post. I'd love to know which traits would be the most difficult to meet. At least if I know, I can better understand. (Obviously I'm not interested in the height and age traits... I shouldn't have included them in this thread.)
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