Author soulm8 Posted February 14, 2010 Author Posted February 14, 2010 Yes, guys like that do exist, however, given you have at least one of the following issues: - Overweight - Unattractive - Overbearing - Dislike activities most men enjoy - Unsuccessful or don't work at all ... Means it is highly unlikely you will find a man possessing all those qualities you desire that also desires you. I am not trying to be a negative nelly here, but your list is a bit unrealistic given your admission that you yourself are not, shall we say, "Grade A". The two qualities I fall short on are weighing 145 lbs and making less than $65K... Since when does a "Grade A" woman have to have a specific weight and make $65K+? For example, he may be butt ugly (yet self confident), or maybe he has a very low paying job and no prospects to earn more, etc. Are those things you're willing to overlook as long as he meets your laundry list? Everyone is allowed to have their own expectations and standards, but I think you're being a bit myopic and too willing to throw away a lot of good men trying to find some mystical ideal. My "laundry" list is a screening measure to hopefully find the man with qualities I find most important to ME. I do not specify looks or income because those are not important to ME. On a more serious note, laundry lists of qualites are nice.. so long as they serve more as a guideline and not a "rule set" for dating. Everyone is flawed in some way. Every strength can be a weakness in the wrong situation. There are always trade offs. My own list looks something like this.. - Do we love each other? - Are we attracted to one another? - Can we laugh together? - Do we respect and trust one another? - Is she my best friend? - Can we support each other on the things that matter? I absolutely agree with you and your list is what most of us are seeking. I just happened to dig deeper and specify what further qualities I WANT rather than having to reject those who I KNOW will most likely not measure up to my ideal. You could meet a guy who fits all of your list requirements but he'd be really ugly. Or maybe he'd smell like hell. Or perhaps he'd be so insecure it would drive you nuts. On the other hand, you could meet a guy who unexpectedly will push all the right buttons despite not having the appropriate "specs". Are you going to reject him because of that? I'm not hung up on looks... never was. If a man takes care of himself and has the balance confidence I need, he will not come across as ugly or insecure to ME. Smelling like hell can be dealt with. Depending on the "spec" he's short of... yes, I will reject him because I know what I want. This whole mentality about not being "used" for sex is also super silly. Being "used" for sex means you didn't enjoy it or expected something else in return. Both bad reactions in my opinion. I agree. It is what it is. We must own our decisions. Exactly.. So if one of these females who makes lists meets a guy that fits these requirements, they automatically love them? Or is love of little importance? No! What planet are you from? C'mon... None make me cringe. I just think when you have a strict list, it makes it really difficult to find someone and really easy to reject someone. Someone might be just about perfect but they become too easy to dismiss, especially initially. I don't think it is out of line but it wouldn't hurt if you were a bit flexible on some. It makes sense to me to be as honest with yourself as possible before wasting other people's time and money on dates. Of course, you'd measure the importance of a quality before outright rejecting. When it comes to the OP's list she would only be able to pick men based on their looks because it takes time to get to know someone well enough to learn the truth about the rest i'd think. Wow... that really doesn't make any sense to me considering the point in making a list in the first place is to reduce wasted time in finding the truth later. Wow. i'm definitely astonished at some of the responses in this thread... Me too! Whats this be mysterious gabrage? You women get brainwashed by these novels/movies Being mysterious is not garbage... it's a good idea as far as attracting people of the opposite sex. Too many people, myself included, spill the beans too soon and that breeds boredom and less challenge.
TheWatcher Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Soulm8...I don't think that your being unrealistic or even picky.I think that your list ,generally speaking,represents the bare-minimum for many women. What I find unrealistic is men who (are well-aware of what women demand/require in partner) but are still determined to put themselves out there...while knowing full-well that they fall very short in many areas...but still cling to some fantasy that someone will find them interesting or want to willingly spend time with them. With that being said,a lot of us have looked ourselves in the mirror & admitted that we are deficient/lacking as men in many ways...and do not approach women or pursue relationships. Good luck in your search.
Pizzaman81 Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 OOH OOH! I love filling out questionnaires. You're 6'1" or taller: NO You're between 38 and 44: NO You take care of yourself so you feel attractive: YES You value honesty and practice it: YES You can express yourself and you're a one-woman man: YES You reserve "I love you" for when you truly mean it: YES You balance compliments and sweetness with mystery, cockiness, flirting and teasing: YES You understand and appreciate that a woman needs to feel special to you to feel secure in a relationship with you: YES You're looking for your partner in crime: YES You do not see children as baggage: YES You like who you are: YES You'd rather masturbate than have casual sex: YES You know how to please a woman in bed: YES Since I answered NO for the first 2 questions... then i'd say you're 100% dreaming, cuz this person doesn't exist, because i'm the only one there is ! No kidding. I think your expectations are normal!
skydiveaddict Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Sorry Pizza, I see you answered no to a question. OOOPs, TWO questions NEXT!!!!
Pizzaman81 Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Sorry Pizza, I see you answered no to a question. OOOPs, TWO questions NEXT!!!! Ya totally! Move on! Next question!
calazhage Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 . It seems you feel "entitled"..If this man exists, who says he would love you? I don't know of too many eligible men who have low earning single mom's on their list defining a perfect woman. Oh, and of course he must not care about weight either.. It is funny how some women include things like "must be mysterious" on their list of requirements, but they expect men to ignore that they have a huge, time consuming obligation like children to raise.
skydiveaddict Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Ok, who's next ? Man up and see if you meet the standards!
skydiveaddict Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Ok I'll give it a shot : I'm EXACTLY 6'1" in great shape. But I'm also 51. I take care of myself, ride motorcycles and skydive. But I 'm getting deployed again in May for 15 months. So I couldn't see much of you anyway. Why do I get the feeling that I'm "circling the drain?"
calazhage Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 With that being said,a lot of us have looked ourselves in the mirror & admitted that we are deficient/lacking as men in many ways...and do not approach women or pursue relationships. Good luck in your search. Don't give up, just travel and meet a foreign woman.. I do not meet her requirements, as I don't play mysterious games, and I am 6ft tall.. However, the girl I am marrying is a lawyer, good income, wealthy family, no kids, 32, wants a family, is straight forward, does not play games, is 5ft 6 120 and a former model on Brazilian and Italian tv that speaks 3 languages fluently.
skydiveaddict Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Ya totally! Move on! Next question! You're too funny dude LMAO
Author soulm8 Posted February 14, 2010 Author Posted February 14, 2010 a lot of us have looked ourselves in the mirror & admitted that we are deficient/lacking as men in many ways... Good luck in your search. Thanks Watcher! I agree whole heartedly. I think your expectations are normal! Great to know Pizzaman! I'm sure you've made many women happy and if not, they didn't know what they had. It seems you feel "entitled".. If this man exists, who says he would love you? I don't know of too many eligible men who have low earning single mom's on their list defining a perfect woman. Oh, and of course he must not care about weight either.. It is funny how some women include things like "must be mysterious" on their list of requirements, but they expect men to ignore that they have a huge, time consuming obligation like children to raise. I do not meet her requirements, as I don't play mysterious games, and I am 6ft tall.. However, the girl I am marrying is a lawyer, good income, wealthy family, no kids, 32, wants a family, is straight forward, does not play games, is 5ft 6 120 and a former model on Brazilian and Italian tv that speaks 3 languages fluently. "Entitled" No... this is my wishlist to help guide me towards the man of my dreams. I never said I'm a perfect woman or that men shouldn't care about weight. I don't mention anything about weight in my wishlist either. Why the attitude? I'm glad to hear you managed to find yourself a keeper... she sounds awesome and I truly hope you KEEP her (attracted and faithful). I didn't state a man must be mysterious and the intro of my profile clearly states that I'm not into GAMES or drama. I'd like the man who is interested in dating me to understand the balance required in keeping attraction and love alive in case we end up in a fullfilling LTR. I hope you don't fall victim to the idea that once you're married, your work is done. You'll have a rude awakening dude. Relationships take work from BOTH parties. I don't expect men to ignore or excuse the fact that I have children from a failed marriage. I'd prefer not to be contacted by such men! Again, these are not my "requirements" but my wishes/guideline of preferred qualities. I'm EXACTLY 6'1" in great shape. But I'm also 51. I take care of myself, ride motorcycles and skydive. But I 'm getting deployed again in May for 15 months. So I couldn't see much of you anyway. Why do I get the feeling that I'm "circling the drain?" You guys are too funny! I was simply wanting your opinions. My wishlist is preferences/guidelines and obviously if the guy is 37 or 45+, or 5'11, I'd be tempted to investigate further. LDR's are tough, complicated and impossible for some people.
bananaboat11 Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 You're 6'1" or taller: YES You're between 38 and 44: HAHA, nope. 25... You take care of yourself so you feel attractive: YES You value honesty and practice it: YES You can express yourself and you're a one-woman man: YES You reserve "I love you" for when you truly mean it: YES, for me... these 3 words carry A LOT of weight. You balance compliments and sweetness with mystery, cockiness, flirting and teasing: YES You understand and appreciate that a woman needs to feel special to you to feel secure in a relationship with you: YES You're looking for your partner in crime: YES You do not see children as baggage: YES You like who you are: YES You'd rather masturbate than have casual sex: YES, unless she is begging for it... You know how to please a woman in bed: YES... one of my favorite things to do... I love to cum when she does... Clearly... I FAIL.
skydiveaddict Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Thanks Watcher! I agree whole heartedly. You guys are too funny! I was simply wanting your opinions. My wishlist is preferences/guidelines and obviously if the guy is 37 or 45+, or 5'11, I'd be tempted to investigate further. LDR's are tough, complicated and impossible for some people. We are just kidding around w/ you. I bet Pizza would say the same. I was just having a little fun. And you're right LDR's ARE tough
Author soulm8 Posted February 14, 2010 Author Posted February 14, 2010 Clearly... I FAIL. Clearly... for 25, you're well on your way to being someone's dream boat! Go get 'em banana!
Author soulm8 Posted February 14, 2010 Author Posted February 14, 2010 We are just kidding around w/ you. I bet Pizza would say the same. I was just having a little fun. And you're right LDR's ARE tough I know! 15 months is a long stint. I'm sure you get breaks? But still... must make it hard on your love life.
bananaboat11 Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Clearly... for 25, you're well on your way to being someone's dream boat! Go get 'em banana! I attract crazy party girls... and I'm oblivious when the GOOD ones are interested in me. I can't pick up on the clues... even if the young woman has a HUGE neon sign on her forehead ... heh Lose-Lose I say.
skydiveaddict Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 I know! 15 months is a long stint. I'm sure you get breaks? But still... must make it hard on your love life. no breaks (except emergency leave), and your right, it would be hard on my love life, if I had one.
skydiveaddict Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 no breaks (except emergency leave), and your right, it would be hard on my love life, if I had one. Well not quite true, sometimes you get a few days r&r and they fly you to Baghdad or Kuwait city. But you cant even get a beer over there. It sucks
Author soulm8 Posted February 14, 2010 Author Posted February 14, 2010 I attract crazy party girls... and I'm oblivious when the GOOD ones are interested in me. I can't pick up on the clues... even if the young woman has a HUGE neon sign on her forehead ... heh Why *react* to girls? You've got the right stuff... you pick who you want to be with. Screen out the crazies and you'll find a good one who IS interested. You're oblivious to the good ones because they would rather *react* to YOU! Well not quite true, sometimes you get a few days r&r and they fly you to Baghdad or Kuwait city. But you cant even get a beer over there. It sucks Don't they have beer gardens for ya? Or is it more that you're on call and have to be prepared at the drop of a hat?
Avarage Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 You're 6'1" or taller- nope only 5'8" You're between 38 and 44-just 22 You take care of yourself so you feel attractive-yep You value honesty and practice it-definitely You can express yourself and you're a one-woman man-I am not a robot and yes You reserve "I love you" for when you truly mean it-yes You balance compliments and sweetness with mystery, cockiness, flirting and teasing -yes, I keep checkbook with me to ensure that the neither side is overdrawn. You understand and appreciate that a woman needs to feel special to you to feel secure in a relationship with you-I'm not a women, so maybe? You're looking for your partner in crime-Never, I don't wanna go to jail and meet bubba You do not see children as baggage-Absolutely, if I did I would be in a drug cartel. You like who you are-Yes You'd rather masturbate than have casual sex-yes You know how to please a woman in be-Judging from my past relationship yes.
bananaboat11 Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Why *react* to girls? You've got the right stuff... you pick who you want to be with. Screen out the crazies and you'll find a good one who IS interested. You're oblivious to the good ones because they would rather *react* to YOU! whoa... never thought of it like that.
skydiveaddict Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Don't they have beer gardens for ya? Or is it more that you're on call and have to be prepared at the drop of a hat? No it's 'cause your in a Muslim country and alcohol is strictly forbidden
Author soulm8 Posted February 14, 2010 Author Posted February 14, 2010 - You understand and appreciate that a woman needs to feel special to you to feel secure in a relationship with you -I'm not a women, so maybe? - You're looking for your partner in crime -Never, I don't wanna go to jail and meet bubba Women are generally more emotional than men... we need to feel connected to you. If you remember to make it a point to remind her (every now and then; not constantly!) that she's {insert unique or awesome trait} - she'll love you because you make her feel special and better than any other woman you know. A "partner in crime" is your best friend, partner and lover all in one... whoa... never thought of it like that. Good girls are "taught" that it's not ladylike to chase men. Good girls "qualify" men before sleeping with them because (if they're smart) they know they'll get attached to them! No it's 'cause your in a Muslim country and alcohol is strictly forbidden Wow, I didn't know that. Ouch!
Pizzaman81 Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 We are just kidding around w/ you. I bet Pizza would say the same. I was just having a little fun. And you're right LDR's ARE tough I'm always here to have fun. I like to sprinkle some humor into everything. But like I said, the expectation sounds normal.
skydiveaddict Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 I'm always here to have fun. I like to sprinkle some humor into everything. But like I said, the expectation sounds normal. LMAO Will you shut up? I stuck my my neck under the knife for you, and this is the thanks I get?
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